i think my boyfriend it during cocaine read i know its long

[shapp]

:mad:I have been with my boyfriend about 2 years an a half. The relationship was really good the first year, but for the past year and a half i been through hell, but I still kept him anyway he started staying out all night just not caring i still kept taking hime back, over the 2 year mark it gotten worser stayed out constantly i always accepted whatever he did, he hurt me so bad repeately he was not working I help in everyway I could, but anyway he left me I was devestated, i cried morning noon and night. he sid contact me after he left and went back home to his moma, i did communicate with him and wanted him back he treated me like **** the more i called and ran behind him the worse i got treated, ok he came back a month an ahalf later i did not ask him to but i accepted him back things were going well, so early in the week he was out and his phone accidentally call me i listen i heard him say he had been seen this lady for the last 8 r 9 years and that he left me to be with her but something happen i guess thats why he came back heart broke hearing him sy that , but anyway about cocaine use last night he came home he had been drinking he drinks 7 days a week heavy i would call him a mean drunk its awful how i let him treat me he act so paranoid accuses me of everything he left the house at 2 this morning came back in an hour left again at 5am still gone before he left out he said he will be getting his stuff and leaving and a big part of me want him gone i have been through hell but i am afraid of him getting back with his ex even though she left him for someone else and i dont even want him he disgust me so bad i dont call him anymore i just despise him. please help me i always tell him what goes around comes around. he has a big mouth to he always say i am going to be ok he feel every woman want him so really he just dont give a **** he have no respect for me he have cheated on me from day one , and the reason i think he is doing cocaine is he stay up all night paranoid dont eat just mean.

[Feelin Frisky]

Why do you think so little of yourself to put up with any of this? What are you, a hopeless dog with no choices except to accept the master that bought you from a pet store. You're a grown up woman with powers, freedoms, and surely some great worth to someone else deserving. I think you're so deep inside whatever hole of self-dismissal you've fallen into that you need a hell of a lot more than any words from any of us. You need to throw yourself into whatever other help you can get--psychological, legal, community, 12 step. I'd add family too but family can sometimes be part of the problem rather than part of solutions. Get serious, get this a55hole out of your life and get a support system to make sure you don't fall back. Seriously. Woman up. Good luck.

[shapp]

Thanks feelin frisky I do need some help, because this is not my worth.