kimchi84 Posted September 3, 2011 Posted September 3, 2011 (edited) Still new, but opinions will be highly appreciated... Just to let u know.. I'm 4yrs older than her.. She's 22.. I bartend night to mornings n she doesn't work. Last two months of us being together, I was over scheduled at work. I had asked her if it was a problem that I had less time to spend with her. She said she understood, it was something that I can't just stop doing. She has finished summer vacation and gone back to school. Neways, I rarely have ever felt jealous twds my ex the whole 11months because she never put me in a situation where I had to think about where she was or who who she was witH. Our relationship had lots of trust in each other and had nothing to complain about.. Never fought. After she had broken it off little over a month ago, (loved me, but not in love with me..) she has gone out with her friends EVERY single weekend since. Met her best friend's new friend n they r always together at every party. This weekend they r out alone.. We still talk occasionally.. She is the one that starts the convo. I delay my response..but try to make it short.. The thing that bothers me is that this other person popped into her life right as soon as ours ended.. I asked her who this friend is cause I got curious. A new person in our mutual group. In response with no hesitation, "just someone that is in the same art major at school. Shes "N's friend.. No..no..no.. I'm far from ready to date again.. I have no intereat in hooking up with anyone..not even cute.." I was her first love but second relationship (lasted 2.5months) she is the kind of reserve. A large part of me says, im prob just over reacting cause I can't have her and she's out meeting new friends of friends.. Im not sure but it's driving me nuts tho.. Sorry if it's confusing.. Lmk if it is.. Thanks in advance...... Edited September 3, 2011 by kimchi84
HeartOfAPhoenix Posted September 3, 2011 Posted September 3, 2011 Still new, but opinions will be highly appreciated... Just to let u know.. I'm 4yrs older than her.. She's 22.. I bartend night to mornings n she doesn't work. Last two months of us being together, I was over scheduled at work. I had asked her if it was a problem that I had less time to spend with her. She said she understood, it was something that I can't just stop doing. She has finished summer vacation and gone back to school. Neways, I rarely have ever felt jealous twds my ex the whole 11months because she never put me in a situation where I had to think about where she was or who who she was witH. Our relationship had lots of trust in each other and had nothing to complain about.. Never fought. After she had broken it off little over a month ago, (loved me, but not in love with me..) she has gone out with her friends EVERY single weekend since. Met her best friend's new friend n they r always together at every party. This weekend they r out alone.. We still talk occasionally.. She is the one that starts the convo. I delay my response..but try to make it short.. The thing that bothers me is that this other person popped into her life right as soon as ours ended.. I asked her who this friend is cause I got curious. A new person in our mutual group. In response with no hesitation, "just someone that is in the same art major at school. Shes "N's friend.. No..no..no.. I'm far from ready to date again.. I have no intereat in hooking up with anyone..not even cute.." I was her first love but second relationship (lasted 2.5months) she is the kind of reserve. A large part of me says, im prob just over reacting cause I can't have her and she's out meeting new friends of friends.. Im not sure but it's driving me nuts tho.. Sorry if it's confusing.. Lmk if it is.. Thanks in advance...... Check out the GIGS thread I bolded parts of your post which leads me to believe she has gigs. That and my ex exhibited similar behaviours during/after my breakup.
Author kimchi84 Posted September 3, 2011 Author Posted September 3, 2011 Yikes, I was really hoping that wouldn't be it.. Better to get a stronger understanding than chasing my tail. If u don't mind if i ask u something else? Do u think it also applies when she says... Lost affection for me but still sexually attracted to me. ESP when drinking.. Not drunk stage... One thing has led to another, but that was sober the next morning. (oooops! x2) I fell for it... Was fun, but no more since.. To me, Perhaps just different way maybe?
HeartOfAPhoenix Posted September 3, 2011 Posted September 3, 2011 Lost Affection directly applies. breakup sex and post-breakup sex don't necessarily have anything to do with any reason for breaking up. Stay away from this from now on... it's a complete mindf***. Read through that GIGS thread, and also the other threads posted by homebrew. Wilsonx is now in charge of the GIGS thread and has since made a handful of extremely insightful posts and threads on the subject. Feel free to ask any questions, or post your story for a more thorough opinion. But from your original post I strongly believe it is GIGS. Also, Did your ex have a rough childhood? Parent not being there (physically or emotionally)? or have a history of abuse?
Author kimchi84 Posted September 3, 2011 Author Posted September 3, 2011 Ya, planning on not going there again.. Don't need that to mess with my emotions.. As if they r not screwed up already.. GIGS... As lots of people say on that thread... BINGO! As far as her childhood, almost same as me, typical Asian family.. Strict n tough at most times.. She is closer to her parents now then she was growing up.. ESP her mother.. Nothing big.. She is still under their roof so there r still rules n such.. I strongly believe you cant appreciate love fully till you've been burned... (thanks to savage garden.. Haha love 'em) I also dont plan on waiting for her.. But at the same time I'm not looking.. Just the small things that bother me now..
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