PelicanPete Posted September 3, 2011 Posted September 3, 2011 Dating forum, Hello! I would like some thoughts/opinion on a question I've had for awhile. I remember back in my high school days it was fairly common for a girl to be dating a guy a few years older then her. I always assumed it was because they were looking for a "mature" guy to be with, even though most of the time the 20 somethings were low lives in more ways then one. I noticed this pattern carry over from high school. The majority of relationships I've known in my life or read about on LS the guy is older then the girl. Sometimes by a couple of years, sometimes by a couple of decades Even with myself I notice this. I know I'm tall dark and handsome, and have received a lot of eyeballs and flirty comments from women. Females that look a little bit younger then me have always shown way more interest in me compared to girls my own age or older. Why is this? What makes an older guy more attractive compared to a younger guy or a guy your own age? Is it really just emotional maturity, or is it something else?
FitChick Posted September 3, 2011 Posted September 3, 2011 It's just a cultural habit that is rapidly changing, thank god. Younger men are finding older women more attractive. Ultimately, age shouldn't matter one way or the other unless you are a breeder.
ThsAmericanLife Posted September 3, 2011 Posted September 3, 2011 When I was in HS, I purposely dated boys who were from far away high schools and those who had already graduated and didn't have any connection to people in my current HS because I wanted to get my freak on and avoid getting a reputation. There were plenty of attractive guys at my HS, but even those with long term girlfriends from the same school couldn't help but blab about their sexual exploits, including details about their girlfriends bodies, etc. Typical stuff from alot of those boys. When I was in my late teens/early twenties, I dated older men because I had no interest in getting married and just wanted sexual experience... and they were willing to teach me. Those days are long over. I'm 46 now. I prefer men close to my own age. +/- 5 years max. I've had many much younger men hit on me, but I have a really hard time taking their interest seriously. I'm looking for a LTR, and I don't believe they are. I suspect alot of these younger men hit on older women so that they can get their 'learn on' too... but, unlike the men I dated when I was their age, I'm not into training. I've gotten hit on by much older too... and I really despise that, especially when my profiles (when I did OLD) specifically excluded them. Some of them would act pretty beligerent about it too. Anyway, I suspect that many women your own age and maybe a few years older simply assume you aren't interested in them.... When I was doing the OLD thing, I would not correspond with men who had unbalanced age ranges. If it were heavily skewed toward the younger, I'd pass... and that would be most men in OLD. What they were broadcasting with those age ranges is that they are more focused on appearance, their ego, and what they could tell their friends. There was really nothing any of them could say to make me believe otherwise.
Disenchantedly Yours Posted September 3, 2011 Posted September 3, 2011 I agree with Fitchick that a good portion of the older men/younger women thing was a cultural persuasion. When I was younger, I did have older crushes and did date older men. I think it was the desire to have a truly strong, good, male role figure in my life. I also over romantized the experiences they were able to give me. But as I got older, and dated these older men, I learned that age didn't always begate the good qualities in a man I was looking for anyway. Age doesn't determine a man's maturity. As I have grown-up more, my interest in men has evened out to my own age. I wouldn't rule out an older man, but it doesn't hold the mystery it once did either. I suspect a lot of women experience it simiarly to me. Finding someone your own age is pretty cool because you can go through experiences together where someone older might have already been there and done that. I would even date someone younger if he had a good foundation. Just a few years ago I wouldn't have considered it. But I think that had something to do with our culture and yes..our male dominated society.
madjac74 Posted September 3, 2011 Posted September 3, 2011 They die sooner so you can collect the life insurance
grkBoy Posted September 3, 2011 Posted September 3, 2011 I'm 38 and I dye my hair. I've been "told" that women love salt-and-pepper, but I have yet to see it. Some women like the older man because it reminds them of their father, or they see him as mature. I'd rather look young. Thankfully I have decent skin.
ThsAmericanLife Posted September 3, 2011 Posted September 3, 2011 They die sooner so you can collect the life insurance Too funny!! If they were willing to include me in their will before I slept with them, maybe I'd consider it.
Lucky_One Posted September 3, 2011 Posted September 3, 2011 In junior high and high school, boys do tend to be less mature that the girls in their same age bracket. So that's why 8th grade girls tend to moon over the 10th grade boy, because he realized that wearing a bit of after-shave and not participating in farting contests in the lunchroom made him more attractive to women. When we are all adults, I think that women still tend to look towards older men because they TEND (generalizations really bother me...) to be more established in life/careers, to be more financially stable, to have more self-confidence, and to be more likely to want a long-term (possible forever) relationship. I think there is much truth in basic, ingrained biology, which tends to have women looking for a stable father/provider for the family unit, and has men wanting to provide. Also, it's nice as you are aging and the guy changes decades before you do!
AHardDaysNight Posted September 3, 2011 Posted September 3, 2011 Experience and maturity, to be honest.
denise_xo Posted September 3, 2011 Posted September 3, 2011 Experience and maturity, to be honest. This. I've never had a habit of dating men that are particularly older than me, but the bits in bold can make such a great difference.
Disenchantedly Yours Posted September 3, 2011 Posted September 3, 2011 They die sooner so you can collect the life insurance Sadly, that is true. My father died almost two years ago. He as 16 years older than my mom. His health failed him and my mom is a very healthy 54 year old woman. As they got older, their age seperated them more because she still wanted to do things and he didn't as much. It's not really something people think of when a guy is 30 or 40.
Cee Posted September 3, 2011 Posted September 3, 2011 I initially started dating older men because they seemed to like me back. Men my age would pass me over. But I never developed a preference for older men - it was another option. I am picky when it comes to intellectual match and compatible values. So I need to expand my options. Men can be of high intelligence no matter their age, weight, race, height, or religion so I try to keep the pool as wide as possible. When I was back in the dating world at age 38, I kept my age range wide. I wanted to date men my age and I did. But I ended up falling for a younger man. My dating life has come full circle. I was in a serious LTR with a 40 year man when I was 24. And now I'm in a serious LTR with a 24 year old man and I am 41. Funny how life works.
musemaj11 Posted September 3, 2011 Posted September 3, 2011 Young girls want older men because they are still immature and not yet independent so they seek a father figure to care for and pamper them.
oaks Posted September 3, 2011 Posted September 3, 2011 Why is this? What makes an older guy more attractive compared to a younger guy or a guy your own age? Is it really just emotional maturity, or is it something else? Us older guys are hot.
FrustratedStandards Posted September 3, 2011 Posted September 3, 2011 They're more mature (sometimes but more often than not) They are experienced (sexually) They've already made all the stupid mistakes, so less problems in relationships AND what I find, they have the traditional mentality, so they are more chivalrous. They pay, they hold the door, they buy flowers. The downside is that they usually have kids and ex wives.
Feelin Frisky Posted September 3, 2011 Posted September 3, 2011 Older guys have cars instead of scooters. Kidding aside, age has a way of implying survival capacity. I'm sure a girl or woman doesn't think that objectively but something inside is saying he's made it through some challenges and looks no worse for wear. The story of my life however has been that I've mostly gotten overt signs of interest in me from older women. They have seemed to think that I'd make a good-looking old geezer.
D-Lish Posted September 4, 2011 Posted September 4, 2011 Well, I'm 41, so I don't find older men attractive. I've always dated men younger than me. My exH was 6 years younger, I've dated men 11 years, 6 years and 7 years younger than me. I even dated a 24 year old when I was 37:eek:
OnyxSnowfall Posted September 4, 2011 Posted September 4, 2011 (edited) Well, I'm 41, so I don't find older men attractive. I've always dated men younger than me. My exH was 6 years younger, I've dated men 11 years, 6 years and 7 years younger than me. I even dated a 24 year old when I was 37:eek: Holy moly. (I know this is off-topic but forgives me) I hope I look as good as you when I'm 41 . From the pictures I peeked at, I thought you were in your early 20's! (your avatar and profile one) as for the topic... I can't say I've noticed a trend in myself finding older men more attractive than ones my age / a little younger. Although my current boyfriend is 5 years older than me... we met when I was 22 and he 27. I think from what others have speculated and stated, experience and (hopefully) maturity would be the most attractive things that others may assume an older man has... I suppose security/wealth may be a factor for some women, too. Edited September 4, 2011 by OnyxSnowfall
NoReallyThatHappened Posted September 4, 2011 Posted September 4, 2011 I've noticed that men still tend to want to date younger women. I've dated some guys my age (my exH was my age) but since then, I've dated 2 to 6 years older. When I most recently tried OLD I noticed men my age had age ranges that were a few years younger than me (31) and I was most frequently messaged by men closer to 40. I think it's a maturity thing for me.
D-Lish Posted September 4, 2011 Posted September 4, 2011 Holy moly. (I know this is off-topic but forgives me) I hope I look as good as you when I'm 41 . From the pictures I peeked at, I thought you were in your early 20's! (your avatar and profile one) as for the topic... I can't say I've noticed a trend in myself finding older men more attractive than ones my age / a little younger. Although my current boyfriend is 5 years older than me... we met when I was 22 and he 27. I think from what others have speculated and stated, experience and (hopefully) maturity would be the most attractive things that others may assume an older man has... I suppose security/wealth may be a factor for some women, too. I am 38 in my avatar and 39 in the other pic- but shhhh, I do use botox (in moderation) I'd be open to dating an older man, but at my age I find men 45-50 have a completely different outlook on life. Wealth doesn't attract me and I don't need the security because I already have it. The older men I've met have usually had too many obligations to their ex wive's and kids- which is fine, but not my thing. I think when you're younger- in your early 20's, it's different- older men (say under 30) can be attractive because of their stability and maturity.
cereza Posted September 4, 2011 Posted September 4, 2011 I think is because older guys have jobs which means that they have money, have cars, and have been on relationships before so they know what girls like and how to win their hearts. Also because younger guys are immature and don't know how to be a gentleman.
phineas Posted September 4, 2011 Posted September 4, 2011 I'm 38 and I dye my hair. I've been "told" that women love salt-and-pepper, but I have yet to see it. Some women like the older man because it reminds them of their father, or they see him as mature. I'd rather look young. Thankfully I have decent skin. 39, got the meteor strike on the back of the head LOL! I got the Reed Richards salt & pepper on the sides (not the top) I gotta say, shirts with grey or black in them look good on me because of the salt & pepper.
johan Posted September 4, 2011 Posted September 4, 2011 I don't know what it is, but when I look in the mirror, I think "hot!"
skelterhelter Posted September 4, 2011 Posted September 4, 2011 I'm currently dating a man twenty years older than me (I'm 29; he's 49) and had a fling with an older man before him. There's just something about being with an older man that is so much more fullfilling and satisfying for me. They tend to be more respectful and comfortable with themselves, as well as more inclined to please their woman. I love secure I feel in my boyfriend's arms. It's just an entirely different feeling than anything I've experienced before (and I love it). And, truthfully, they are better in bed, LOL. Plus, I tend to get along with the older crowd anyway -- I like all of the same music, LOL.
D-Lish Posted September 4, 2011 Posted September 4, 2011 I don't know what it is, but when I look in the mirror, I think "hot!" I think the same thing when I look at your facebook! Yes people, Randy the Macho Man Savage has added me to his facebook ;-D
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