Enjaycee Posted September 3, 2011 Posted September 3, 2011 My girlfriend and I, both 19 years old, have been together over 9 months now. We've been in college for a few weeks now. If anyone cares to look back at my previous posts, here is a new item to the mountain of problems that seems to accumulate throughout our relationship. This has apparently been going on for the past two weeks or so before move-in day at college (around mid-August). I had a gut feeling that something was wrong when she had told me at the beginning of this week (late August to early Sept) that she had felt weird being with me. Last night, my girlfriend revealed to me that she now kind of likes her best friend from back home. This was brought on by some emotional moments when the two of them were hanging out in the few days before she left for college. And since then she has been, I guess you can say, emotionally cheating on me. Her best friend (and also a friend of mine after she introduced me to him) has liked her for a while (months to almost a year back, possibly further) but has since not done really anything about it. He's said before he's seen how happy she and I were together and "lost interest" after a while, but has apparently started to like her again (or he could have lied and he liked her all along) According to her, my girlfriend has known but had tried to deny it for a while until now. She told me she asked him how he honestly felt about her, and he told her that he really likes her, but doesn't think things between them would work out and he doesn't want to ruin their friendship or anything like that. My girlfriend thinks it wouldn't work out either but she said she doesn't want to go on not knowing how things could have been. I asked her what she sees in him that she doesn't see in me, and she told me that with him he always knows the right things to say and there's never a dull moment with him. This is where I think I may have failed as her boyfriend. We tried to work it out and we came to this solution (which seemed like the only one at the time): I'll let her date her best friend for a few weeks and see how it goes. Insane, right? Stupid, right? Something in me believed that if she dated him for a couple weeks while I waited on her, that she would realize that things wouldn't work out and she would come back to me and everything would be (almost) normal again. I'm starting to question the decision I made. Your input, folks?
Author Enjaycee Posted September 3, 2011 Author Posted September 3, 2011 I forgot to mention that she knows that she is a horrible person and a "bitch" for having done this. She knows she needs to figure things out. I also forgot to mention that I know that I've been too nice to her and I let her have this the way she wanted so it will work for her. Just now she proposed, on her own, when we were supposed to be figuring this out together, that we should take a relationship break while she figures things out. I've told her no, we aren't doing that and that is unfair to me that she gets to date someone else while I wait in the wings for her (although I could go find someone else if I wanted to, but I have no interest in anyone else but her). I've not ever really stood up to her before in this fashion, and having done so has made her break down. I don't know if I should feel bad that I caused this to her or if I'm justified.
P&R Posted September 3, 2011 Posted September 3, 2011 This relationship is over... It's time to cut your losses and move on, this relationship is going nowhere.
Author Enjaycee Posted September 3, 2011 Author Posted September 3, 2011 I really don't think it's over. She's told me that she really doesn't want to lose me either. Yes, I understand she is getting the best of everything while I sit here and wait on her. I believe she is worth the wait depsite how much pain I'm putting myself through for her. You can call me an idiot, but I really do love her, and I hope that she will realize what she's had all along and come back to me, and if not then I have to be prepared for the worst.
bluenightowl Posted September 3, 2011 Posted September 3, 2011 I really don't think it's over. She's told me that she really doesn't want to lose me either. Yes, I understand she is getting the best of everything while I sit here and wait on her. I believe she is worth the wait depsite how much pain I'm putting myself through for her. You can call me an idiot, but I really do love her, and I hope that she will realize what she's had all along and come back to me, and if not then I have to be prepared for the worst. I've been a victim of this kind of thinking and I can tell you she won't come back while you wait. That just makes you look weak and less interesting to her. Dude, stand up to her, and date other women, and watch and see how attractive you become to her. No question about it. Right now she'll say anything to keep her options open and you're happy to play by her rules not your own. Regardless you need to move on from her.
chphan Posted September 3, 2011 Posted September 3, 2011 Even though I don't have alot of dating experience even I can see that the OP is a fail safe back up plan incase things don't work out for the girl. If OP don't mind having any pride and wants to be a back up plan in waiting then so be it.
Professor X Posted September 3, 2011 Posted September 3, 2011 I really don't think it's over. Son, it's as over as it can get. You went as low as allowing her to date someone (lol?!?!?!) just so you'll be her 2nd choice in case it doesn't work with him. Smooth. It's time you grow a pair and be a man instead of a doormat. Or what, you'll let her date anyone she likes? Pathetic. You can call me an idiot, but I really do love her What you're doing isn't out of love, it's out of fear and desperation. Learn the difference, it will spare you a lot of future pain.
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