Overthirtymale Posted September 3, 2011 Posted September 3, 2011 Women ask me this and I usually say something other than what I truly do for fun. I would say watch movies, mountain biking, working out, or some other lame stuff I do on the sidelines. But my real passion is videogames. I know its a date killer. But its the honest truth. I been playing videogames my whole life as a hobby since 8 years old. No I don't play those online games at all, just different types. Now I don't excessively play anymore just because women do not want to be with a man that does. Frankly I don't know what women do for fun that would turn me off. But videogames is a man killer or is it? Is that the truth women?
Janesays Posted September 3, 2011 Posted September 3, 2011 If you're an addict, yes. If you just do it recreationally and have other interests, not a big deal.
Red Arremer Posted September 3, 2011 Posted September 3, 2011 Hahaha oh god, I ****ing HATE this question. I still haven't really come up with a good BS answer for it yet because I'm in the exact predicament the OP is in.
leftfordead2 Posted September 3, 2011 Posted September 3, 2011 Women ask me this and I usually say something other than what I truly do for fun. I would say watch movies, mountain biking, working out, or some other lame stuff I do on the sidelines. But my real passion is videogames. I know its a date killer. But its the honest truth. I been playing videogames my whole life as a hobby since 8 years old. No I don't play those online games at all, just different types. Now I don't excessively play anymore just because women do not want to be with a man that does. Frankly I don't know what women do for fun that would turn me off. But videogames is a man killer or is it? Is that the truth women? Not a turn off for those women that like playing video games too...
Red Arremer Posted September 3, 2011 Posted September 3, 2011 Not a turn off for those women that like playing video games too, all three of them... Fixed that for you
Author Overthirtymale Posted September 3, 2011 Author Posted September 3, 2011 Find a gamer girlfriend I don't think girls admit to playing videogames either. And they are hard to come by IMO.
somethingsimple Posted September 3, 2011 Posted September 3, 2011 I would just tell them. If they judge you, then forget them. I remember telling these girls I was in video game teams and I was part of my school's video game team which competed. I remember them, being turned off by it. Some thought it was cute. But at the end of the date they still liked me.
OnyxSnowfall Posted September 3, 2011 Posted September 3, 2011 Find a gamer girlfriend Seconded... Not all passions and hobbies have to be shared with a partner (nor should they be) but if it's one of your big ones, it's just going to make things easier in the long-term if you find someone who care share it with you. Now, you probably should have a better reason to not play in excess than just because women don't like it though... but that's just my opinion... I've known of several female gamers (having been playing them since I was 3 myself) so they definitely exist...
Mrowka Posted September 3, 2011 Posted September 3, 2011 I like to play video games my self. I think its cool that older guys are still into it. At least i get to have a partner to play with
Finch Posted September 3, 2011 Posted September 3, 2011 There are still stigmas against people who play video games, yes. Part of this has to do with how male gamers have been portrayed in popular culture - the stereotype being that people who enjoy gaming are also the reclusive, live in their parents basement, no social skills type. There's also this idea that when someone plays video games that's all they do, non-stop. Happily, this is changing. Modern Warfare 2 was, at the time, considered the biggest entertainment launch in history. Games are beginning to steadily gain ground as one of the most popular forms of entertainment. People are buying and playing games - both men and women - and these people do not fit into the "typical" gamer characterizations. There are also more casual female gamers out there than ever, who are being lured in by things like Farmville and other social networking or micro-transaction games. Those are gateway games. I like console games, and I know other women who do as well. I don't play constantly, but I enjoy a weekend marathon of Zelda, or an evening playing Borderlands with my boyfriend. When he was playing Red Dead Redemption I watched a lot of it, and helped him make dialogue and story choices. I also started playing Warcraft last year. I enjoy it. People are always surprised when I tell them, because I don't fit the stereotype. But that's my point - that stereotype doesn't apply to all, or even most people. I know lots of people who play video games, all of them also have educations, families, work, and great social lives. Gaming is just as valid a leisure activity as watching movies, I feel, and if it's something you enjoy you shouldn't have to hide it. I don't think you should have to look for a "gamer girlfriend", either. You are allowed to have interests, you just have to make sure that those interests (whatever they are) aren't given more attention than the woman you are dating.
veggirl Posted September 3, 2011 Posted September 3, 2011 Lots of females are okay with guys who play videogames, many play themselves or would be open to playing with you if you were interested in that. For myself, it's a dealbreaker. I had an ex who played videogames TOO MUCH and I don't want to deal with that again. I ask if a guy plays videogames very early on, in fact.
robertdawson Posted September 3, 2011 Posted September 3, 2011 Lots of guys play video games. If you are afraid they'll quit being interested in you once you tell them you play video games then they're not worth being around. There's nothing wrong with doing healthy, reasonable things to improve yourself (that will also make you more attractive to women) but you should never quit doing things you enjoy just to please a woman. In fact, I'd say if she tells you to quit playing video games and you listen to her then you've just emasculated yourself and you're not as attractive to her anymore because of it. Here's the catch though: if you do tell her don't go on about it like a social pariah. Have you ever been around a little kid who is talking to you about something they like and they keep going on and on with details about it when you truly don't give a ****? Don't do that. If she asks you tell her you play them and leave it at that. Here's some examples: Good way to attract women: working out and getting in shape is good for you, confidence/self esteem builder, can be fun, etc. Bad way to attract women: do away with some of your perfectly legitimate interests so she'll "accept" you. When you do that you're saying what she wants is more important than what you want and that you're a pushover. If you told her you thought her activities were for losers would you expect her to stop?
ThsAmericanLife Posted September 3, 2011 Posted September 3, 2011 honesty is always the best policy... besides, fibbing just means you are wasting time with women who can't appreciate this about you... spend more time finding like minded women and less time worrying about the ones who don't dig it... I've got some pretty bizarre interests too... like volunteer work. Don't know alot of men who dig that either.
verhrzn Posted September 3, 2011 Posted September 3, 2011 As long as you don't do it obsessively or an inordinate amount of time, and have other hobbies, any woman who is turned off by it isn't worth it anyway. I second the recommend of getting a gamer girlfriend, or one who enjoys watching you play. Gamer girls actually aren't all that rare, but if you're that hard pressed to find one (maybe it's because I am one, but I feel like nerdy/gamer girls are literally EVERYWHERE), then find a girl who is at least open to watching. (Maybe she's nerdy in other ways.) You may also need to tailor what kind of video games you introduce to a potential mate. I'm a huge WoW player, but it does carry a stigma, and people who aren't familiar with it may get the wrong idea. (You can play it without being addicted, I swear!) Even first person shooters may be a little too hard core, as they're usually rather testosterone heavy (and I myself associate, unfairly or not, "Halo" with "douche frat boys.") Look for games that are either heavily story driven, more intellectual (puzzles) or cute/social. Little Big Planet is a GREAT game to introduce girls to... You can do multi player, it's colorful and fun, and levels progress in difficulty reasonably. Zelda is another great game to introduce girls to video games, if she's more the watching type. Heck, if the girl is a little more into action/horror genre, you could try something like Left 4 Dead or Silent Hill, and then graduate up into the Grand Theft Autos. (I say graduate because the idea of stealing cars and running over hookers might be a bit too "video games are mindless trash" for a beginner, and a non-gamer girl may need to warm up to the concept of video games first before she can appreciate it.) Long story short, be honest and get creative about ways you can show her video games are not just fantasy gore for stunted boy-men.
richardwordoff Posted September 3, 2011 Posted September 3, 2011 Yeah, don't try to get them to play overly violent games with you. Like verhrzn said Zelda is good. Wii games are good, even for "non-gamers". Personally, some of my favorite games are ones with decent stories. It is my opinion that if you say you like them because they're challenging and they have engaging stories someone is going to respond in a better way than if you say "well, it's got guns and explosions and keeps my ADD at bay". But yes, there is a stigma to it. However, games like Halo, Modern Warfare and games like Little Big Planet, Wii games, etc. aren't really seen as antisocial games. Like other posters have said, make sure you talk about your other hobbies. Personally I am quite a weird person. I definitely don't fit the video game nerd stereotype of being fat (or super skinny) with glasses, acne and social phobia (I'm not too successful with women but I can at least carry on a normal conversation without having to talk about video games). I enjoy sports and weight lifting but I don't fit the "jock" stereotype either.
PhillyDude Posted September 3, 2011 Posted September 3, 2011 I have the weirdest hobbies that can turn a female off "Watching TV shows on DVD and analyzing the historical meaning in each episode with a notepad" "reading old newspapers and books about TV shows" "Maintaining a weekly TV blog about current TV shows" "Up at 2am in the morning researching TV Info so I can update my Blog" "Watching Football and talking about it on the web at the same time" LOL, I don't mention none of these to women
krz12 Posted September 3, 2011 Posted September 3, 2011 Video gaming is a $50 billion industry. You aren't the only one.
Dorie Posted September 3, 2011 Posted September 3, 2011 As long as you don't do it obsessively or an inordinate amount of time, and have other hobbies, any woman who is turned off by it isn't worth it anyway. I second the recommend of getting a gamer girlfriend, or one who enjoys watching you play. Gamer girls actually aren't all that rare, but if you're that hard pressed to find one (maybe it's because I am one, but I feel like nerdy/gamer girls are literally EVERYWHERE), then find a girl who is at least open to watching. (Maybe she's nerdy in other ways.) You may also need to tailor what kind of video games you introduce to a potential mate. I'm a huge WoW player, but it does carry a stigma, and people who aren't familiar with it may get the wrong idea. (You can play it without being addicted, I swear!) Even first person shooters may be a little too hard core, as they're usually rather testosterone heavy (and I myself associate, unfairly or not, "Halo" with "douche frat boys.") Look for games that are either heavily story driven, more intellectual (puzzles) or cute/social. Little Big Planet is a GREAT game to introduce girls to... You can do multi player, it's colorful and fun, and levels progress in difficulty reasonably. Zelda is another great game to introduce girls to video games, if she's more the watching type. Heck, if the girl is a little more into action/horror genre, you could try something like Left 4 Dead or Silent Hill, and then graduate up into the Grand Theft Autos. (I say graduate because the idea of stealing cars and running over hookers might be a bit too "video games are mindless trash" for a beginner, and a non-gamer girl may need to warm up to the concept of video games first before she can appreciate it.) Long story short, be honest and get creative about ways you can show her video games are not just fantasy gore for stunted boy-men. Very nice post, verhrzn. I watch my SO more than I play. I do tend to wander away after some time but he's good at limiting his playing time when I'm over. There are ways to make it work.
strawberryshortstack Posted September 3, 2011 Posted September 3, 2011 Find a gamer girlfriend agreed... I'm a gamer myself (not heavy, but I do enjoy games), and I intentionally seek out men who are also into video games.
Kaplan Posted September 3, 2011 Posted September 3, 2011 Little Big Planet is a GREAT game to introduce girls to... It's so funny to me to hear someone else say this because I actually got Little Big Planet for this exact reason. I think that women are put-off by video games though. I don't really play video games much, but I have a Playstation 3 that I mostly use for watching movies, and a couple of times a girl has been over at my place and said, "You play video games!?" Like it's somehow gross or something. Also, I think that women get angrier when their guys spend all day playing video games then they would if their guys spent all day working on some other hobby. I can't remember the last time I played a game. This thread just reminded me that I have video games. I seriously am going to go play Bioshock right now. I've been playing that game for a year and a half and I think I'm almost finished with it.
antinko Posted September 3, 2011 Posted September 3, 2011 I know a lot of girls who game and they're really competitive. Gaming isn't the same as it used to be: the demographic is much broader in terms of age and gender. Oh and, no, don't lie about your hobbies. If a girl doesn't like you based on what you do when you're not with her, then that's kind of shallow or, at least, you're incompatible.
irc333 Posted September 3, 2011 Posted September 3, 2011 Yeah, I saw this woman on a dating profile, over, never married (of course), stated specifically in her profile, "If you like to play video games, move on, it's immature" Yes, she actually stated it's immature. Women ask me this and I usually say something other than what I truly do for fun. I would say watch movies, mountain biking, working out, or some other lame stuff I do on the sidelines. But my real passion is videogames. I know its a date killer. But its the honest truth. I been playing videogames my whole life as a hobby since 8 years old. No I don't play those online games at all, just different types. Now I don't excessively play anymore just because women do not want to be with a man that does. Frankly I don't know what women do for fun that would turn me off. But videogames is a man killer or is it? Is that the truth women?
Citizen Erased Posted September 3, 2011 Posted September 3, 2011 I remember when my now husband told me that he didn't own a Playstation or xBox. It was so sexy. I think like that, yet I bought my ex an xBox and multiple games. Some things people will overlook, if the person is upfront from the start.
madjac74 Posted September 3, 2011 Posted September 3, 2011 My ex sister-in-law and still one of my best friends is one of my toughest competitors at video games. My SO doesnt really care for them that much but she respects that boys will be boys and thats how I need to unwind after work sometimes. There are definitely worse things to be doing. Video games are really a great way to spend some time with family, friends or even alone...just like movies but more interactive. I think the negativity comes from the people for whom it becomes an addiction (like world of warcraft people) and they start neglecting their partner, kids, jobs etc...
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