pandora_be Posted September 2, 2011 Posted September 2, 2011 In the first month I wasn't really coping and me and my ex were still friends. I think we were both hoping things would improve and we could be happy together, but it didn't work, so she decided to stop the whatever is left from our relation. Last night I went on a date with a girl from a shop who turned out to be hotter, more fun, and as intelligent as my ex. We had an amazing date with lots of talking en laughs. Tough I didn't want to force it and since it was a first date I didn't try anything like kissing her or whatever, I wanted to take it easy and just enjoy the night. Since I'm obviously still coping with my ex, it gave me the boost of confidence I need. However after the date the new girl texted me: "I had an amazing night, but I don't think we can be more than friends :)" 1. First I don't understand the smiley and second I was shocked that she assumed that I would wanted more while I explicitly played "the nice guy" instead of being more the flirting and touchy type to try and build up physical attraction. 2. What does it mean that I liked and had more fun and could talk better with a girl who obviously appreciates me but doesn't really like me? 3. Should I consider this date a setback because I send subconciously the wrong signal or is it good that maybe I should realize I sticked with my ex way to long but for some reason we did connect in a physical way at the time we were dating in the beginning?
Author pandora_be Posted September 2, 2011 Author Posted September 2, 2011 Maintain NC. NC with my ex obviously, but what about this new girl? take the boost of confidence and leave her be and move on to the next intriguing girl for a new first date?
antinko Posted September 2, 2011 Posted September 2, 2011 Leave her be. She's reflected and decided it's not for her so no worries. Feel good that she obviously found you attractive and move on. To be honest, I'm not sure if, after 6 weeks splitting with your g/f, that you've given enough time to get over it?
Author pandora_be Posted September 2, 2011 Author Posted September 2, 2011 Leave her be. She's reflected and decided it's not for her so no worries. Feel good that she obviously found you attractive and move on. To be honest, I'm not sure if, after 6 weeks splitting with your g/f, that you've given enough time to get over it? Ok, so it actually happens a girl finds a guy nice and attractive but nothing for her and takes the risk of losing him forever by doing that "friend" stuff? No I'm not over my ex gf yet and I thought to speed up the process by doing some dating where I actually try to get to know the new girl and make fun instead of going more physical only (which is also fun but only temporary and meaningless)... I'm looking for a boost of confidence but I'm afraid a physical rebound will push me back in the process, especially when the rebound-thing is over.
antinko Posted September 2, 2011 Posted September 2, 2011 Ok, so it actually happens a girl finds a guy nice and attractive but nothing for her and takes the risk of losing him forever by doing that "friend" stuff? No I'm not over my ex gf yet and I thought to speed up the process by doing some dating where I actually try to get to know the new girl and make fun instead of going more physical only (which is also fun but only temporary and meaningless)... I'm looking for a boost of confidence but I'm afraid a physical rebound will push me back in the process, especially when the rebound-thing is over. Don't rush into anything mate. Rebounds don't work for everyone and they certainly don't for me. As for the girl you went on the date with, I don't have an answer. I went on a date once with a girl (she was a wedding dress model...) and she was totally into me during the date, we made out after and she wanted a second date...and then changed her mind a few days after. Best not to analyse it: just move on. I'm practically done trying to work people out because it just leads to second guessing and heart ache. Focus on yourself. You sound like you're doing pretty well.
Dblock10 Posted September 2, 2011 Posted September 2, 2011 well i would take pride in the fact you had a date, she was hotter and more attractive, more clever etc... those are great! but yeah, she wasnt feeling it, maybe lack of chemistry since you know you were playing it cool. who knows, what ever though!? what do you do when you fall off the horse?...
antinko Posted September 2, 2011 Posted September 2, 2011 well i would take pride in the fact you had a date, she was hotter and more attractive, more clever etc... those are great! but yeah, she wasnt feeling it, maybe lack of chemistry since you know you were playing it cool. who knows, what ever though!? what do you do when you fall off the horse?... Shoot it! Oh...wait...
Dblock10 Posted September 2, 2011 Posted September 2, 2011 haha. or more appropriately, get back on massive smiley
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