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She says she's not physically attracted to me anymore but is emotionally...

LoveHurts88

By LoveHurts88
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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LoveHurts88 Established Member

LoveHurts88

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Posted

Hey guys so what do I do? I had a talk with my ex yesterday and she is still undecided but I said I need to know and if you can't give me an answer i'll be gone. She told me that she's not physically attracted to me anymore but she's emotionally attracted to me.. What should I do? Should I just forget about everything and move on? Does this matter? To me Im not sure if it's a huge deal if she likes me. We do still have sex but I don't want only one person to enjoy it so maybe I should ask her that? Any opinions thanks

wilsonx Established Member

wilsonx

Posted
Posted (edited)

This is because shes physically attracted to someone else. Its the most convoluted thing that took me a long time to comprehend and understand.

 

You should read the first 2 posts on the "I am no longer attracted to you" thread for more information on this topic in my signature.

 

You need to end the physical part of the relationship ASAP because it will mess you up mentally. You really need to go NC and move on because these are the type of people you honestly do not want to be in a relationship with.

Edited by wilsonx
Nohbody Established Member

Nohbody

Posted
Posted

There are mutually reinforcing attractors in a relationship (physical, emotional, etc). Where one is lacking another can start to make up for it... but if it is absent...

 

well, honestly... nothing will change that. I'd recommend just going no contact and finding someone who will appreciate you in all of your facets.

 

But that's just my recommendation.

Dasaso Member

Dasaso

Posted
Posted

I was like your girlfriend in my first and only one relationship. You have to dump her, or give her some time, she might notice that she really misses you and without you she is nothing and sometimes physical attraction isn't big deal. I wasn't attracted to my ex boyfriend, so I asked him for some time but now he is with a girl who loves him the way he is and really appreciate him, But if you want to be in a equal relationship and both of you want to be happy, the best is to break up I guess. SHes not into someone just because she said that btw.

Sorry for my english. Not american!

Kendal Pierce Member

Kendal Pierce

Posted
Posted

I see that this girl just wanted to keep you hanging on her side, just for the heck of it. All to herself. You are not even aware that you are indeed at her disposal and I don't believe that she can be attracted to you emotionally but not physically. I can't imagine how attraction to a person can be classified or categorized just like that. If you like him, you get the whole package and accept him or her in full.

 

I should go with everyone here into saying that you are just wasting your time with her. Leave her and move on. You got to get yourself a better one. :)

wilsonx Established Member

wilsonx

Posted
Posted

Actually there is a psychological condition in where this actually exists and that OP describes. He said only one person enjoys the sex afterwards and that is him. Most women will not sleep with someone they are not physically attracted to but she continues to for fear of him abandoning her and she is the one who initiates the sex and is unhappy afterwards. The term for this is engulfment and its part of a much bigger psychological problem that OP needs to end and start a permanent NC solution.

Glove_slap Established Member

Glove_slap

Posted
Posted

Hit the gym and have more sex. It's really that simple.

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