lenny Posted September 2, 2011 Posted September 2, 2011 So it turns out my bf is a super listener but sucks with any actual communication. This is just so frustrating! Last night I finally broke down and held nothing back explaining that I've been feeling very insecure with my boyfriend as a result of his actions and that I'm really doubting being with him for the long haul. I shared with him all of my doubts and fears. I tried to explain that I just don't understand the why and where he's coming from for some of his actions that make me doubt myself. Did he try to clear the air for me? No! He held my hand, rubbed my shoulders and interjected with a bunch of comments like "that's not good you feel that way" but he wouldn't just clear things up and explain things. The only statement he made that I think was some close to communication was "maybe I'm getting too comfortable with things and not trying hard enough". I don't know whether the explanations could undo the damage done but it would have been a start! I guess for my part, I'm done with the topic. No point in trying to talk with him more about it since it would just be repeating. We're going away for the weekend so hopefully he just needs some time to collect his thoughts and he'll start the conversation up again to resolve these issues. We're one day away from our first anniversary together and hopefully we can get this communication thing worked out. As things stand I'm not feeling optimistic we'll see a second one.
SelfControl Posted September 3, 2011 Posted September 3, 2011 What specific actions of his are making you doubt yourself about the relationship?
magnus mateo Posted September 5, 2011 Posted September 5, 2011 When you start to have those feelings it usually is the beginning of the end. Take time to figure out if you want to continue the relationship. You cannot change him, so you will have to accept his deficiency with communication. Is that something you can accept for the long haul? I hope you get it figured out.
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