collegeguy_24 Posted September 2, 2011 Posted September 2, 2011 Like the title says, I can admit to them, and I will do so here. Thing is, after my ex left me and I found out she was seeing someone else almost immediately afterward, I had a complete, mental breakdown. My own Psychiatrist said so, and I was put on suicide watch twice. I have been looking at the past year, even some of my own posts and I have seen I have made mistakes. I have even seen that I may or may not have imagined things when I was in breakdown. The question is, what did I imagine? Did I see things that didn't happen? Did i make things up without knowing the difference between reality and fantasy? One mistake I made was posting my exes first and last name on here, multiple times. I even posted the name of the man she left me for. But what I am beginning to question, is did she cheat on me like I believe, or was she right and she did not? Did he really follow me around and gloat about winning, or did my own fractured mind make that up? The first few months following the break up are a blur, I have a hard time remembering them, what is true and what is false. I don't know anymore. I really don't, and I admit to them here. I am sorry for what I did, and I wish I could tell her that, I wish we could start over with a new beginning, even just a friendship. But when we broke up my mind was fractured, and while I can't rely on that excuse forever, I wish, I really wish, I could tell her, either in email or in person, that I am sorry for how I acted in our breakup.
Nohbody Posted September 2, 2011 Posted September 2, 2011 It's important to acknowledge what mistakes you made in your relationship at some point - but not to dwell on them. Learn what you can, and I hope you move on well and truly.
coltsfan1 Posted September 2, 2011 Posted September 2, 2011 collegeguy, I have more regrets than I ever thought I would. I have looked at her and myself, did my best to change the things I could (mostly me) and tried to put it in the past. Something that I have realized is that I made some really poor choices but NOTHING I did warranted what she did to me, and the other thing I realized is doesn't matter!!! We are not together and we are not friends!!! I owe her nothing and she owes me nothing, we will NEVER speak again, I have no desire to know or be involved with her life, friends, or anything else. Once I truly came to this realization and ACCEPTED it things became better and I promised myself that I would do everything in my power to not make the same choices again. I hope you are here to, but I WILL agree living with these regrets is NOT a fun thing, just something I have to accept!!
KathyM Posted September 2, 2011 Posted September 2, 2011 Like the title says, I can admit to them, and I will do so here. Thing is, after my ex left me and I found out she was seeing someone else almost immediately afterward, I had a complete, mental breakdown. My own Psychiatrist said so, and I was put on suicide watch twice. I have been looking at the past year, even some of my own posts and I have seen I have made mistakes. I have even seen that I may or may not have imagined things when I was in breakdown. The question is, what did I imagine? Did I see things that didn't happen? Did i make things up without knowing the difference between reality and fantasy? One mistake I made was posting my exes first and last name on here, multiple times. I even posted the name of the man she left me for. But what I am beginning to question, is did she cheat on me like I believe, or was she right and she did not? Did he really follow me around and gloat about winning, or did my own fractured mind make that up? The first few months following the break up are a blur, I have a hard time remembering them, what is true and what is false. I don't know anymore. I really don't, and I admit to them here. I am sorry for what I did, and I wish I could tell her that, I wish we could start over with a new beginning, even just a friendship. But when we broke up my mind was fractured, and while I can't rely on that excuse forever, I wish, I really wish, I could tell her, either in email or in person, that I am sorry for how I acted in our breakup. I think it would be best if you let go of that relationship, and not torture yourself over it anymore. Just learn from your mistakes so they don't damage any future relationships. This relationship is over. In the past. Contacting your X at this point really won't help either one of you, imo. You need to let go of that and move on.
Author collegeguy_24 Posted September 3, 2011 Author Posted September 3, 2011 THing is, I am having a hard time letting it go, a year later. She was my second relationship, and she gave me so many hints and clues and even out right said she looked forward to our long term life together, then out of no where she breaks up with me. She has given me several reasons as to why she left me, while at the same time saying the previous one is not true. I don't know, maybe I want the truth? I do want to know, why she told me she loved me and wanted a long term future with me for a bit, only to leave unexpectantly. I am not mad, or angry, and I don't hate her or wish her ill will. I want the truth. I want her back in my life, I will take friendship, cause it means she is there, and thats what I want, for her to be there. Not romantically as I am in a relationship, but as a friend. If she wanted another go romantically and I was single, I would certainly consider it. But at the same time, I also need to recongize my own faults. Yes, during the break up period I did act irrationally, and I suffered a psychotic break, its time I own up to it. Thing is, I can't tell her this, simply because she asked me to not contact her again, and she would contact me IF she wanted to. So while I do have regrets about my actions, its not like I can express them to her. Personally, I would just like nothing more then t meet up with her, tell her the past is in the past, lets not think or focus on it, and for us to start over. Give each other a clean slate and start over, just two people talking with one another, thats it.
wilsonx Posted September 3, 2011 Posted September 3, 2011 She has given me several reasons as to why she left me, while at the same time saying the previous one is not true. I don't know, maybe I want the truth? I do want to know, why she told me she loved me and wanted a long term future with me for a bit, only to leave unexpectantly. The truth is, its time to let go. There is no real reason to why the relationship ended, it ended because she was attracted to another guy. That's the reason. Instead of telling you the truth she blamed you and put you in the mental state you are in now. It's called gaslighting(click here for the definition). Look what happened afterwards. You had a break. She did not want to accept any responsibility for the relationship ending. Trust me, you do not want these type of people in your life. Honesty goes a long way and its time to move on to bigger and better things and people
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