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Important nc ???


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Posted

A little of a dilemma, 5 months NC, having good days now. I recently found out that my ex's mother was in the hospital for surgery (could of been life threatening but now is recovering), I obviously didn't know about this until a mutual friend brought this to my attention.

 

My question is, being the Dumpee, would you reach out ? I have already decided I am not going to call or text, it will be a very short email. I know I am doing it for the right reasons but i fear anything that could set me back at this point. I ponder this because NC is suppose to be all about ones self.

 

Thoughts, potential responses, etc.

Posted

This is a hairy situation. I won't say you shouldn't... but I will say that you should be prepared for the absolute worst reaction possible - to include no reaction at all.

 

No good deed goes unpunished.

Posted

this is a very TOUGH situation. Were you close to the mother, if so, don't contact your ex- send a card to the mom.

if you weren't, i think the dynamics of your relationship, the breakup, your recovery/healing, relationship with the family, etc. all has to be taken into account.

 

In my situation, I would go directly to mom because i am close with her, i would say NOTHING to him at all. If anyone in his family passed, i wouldn't care if i was 1 hour NC, i would text him to apologize because that is who I am & i have empathy & compassion even though he had none for me.

 

i've always been like that though.

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Posted

Well, somethings are more important than two people not working out, it was a 2+ year relationship so I decided to leave a voice mail (Much more appropiate than email or text), I feel it was the right thing to do, I don't expect but am prepared for any kind of contact. I hope this doesn't set me back.

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