Bubby Posted September 2, 2011 Posted September 2, 2011 (edited) I am sitting at home with my dog and 3 cats. My husband who separated from me at the end of July is at his NW place and it is obvious that he there screwing her. Am I crazy for putting myself in this situation ? I don't have the savings to be able to move out yet. Not that I want to. He has moved out to the garage. Part way through the night I broke down and my heart broke so I called him several times on his mobile. Of course, he wouldn't answer because I'm such a nuisance. Can't swear so have to use nice words ! People have talked to me about moving on and I just look at them. Don't they think that I am trying ? I'm not a complete moron ! My silly husband thinks I am. I always love the effect of karma. Somewhere down the road he will come to grips with what he has done. You cannot start a relationship based on a lie. And ours was started on the thruth. This new relationship he is in is based on a lie, deceit and betrayal. But i still get up every day. Thank God for my dog and cats and a new friend. I have lost seven kilos because of this situation and have decided to keep going with that. It is my focus to make me feel good and I keep reinforcing with myself what he is really like. I think that reality is starting to sink now. The cold, deceitful man who left me for something greener is a vicious and vindictive man who has not supported me at anytime in the last 3 years and has used me without conscience. He will either pull his head in and the Universe will put him on his knees and he will fall further than he has ever fallen before or he will move on to another situation. But I like to think that the Universe will do us all a favour and put him on his knees. I am just starting to get up off mine bit by bit. Anyone who tells me to move on quickly I am eliminating from my life at present. I adore my husband despite what he has done and I have decided to grieve my loss of him with dignity and slowly I have started to reconnect with myself. There was a reason for this happening to me and it has meant that I have been shocked back to reality and have to face reality. I was aware of warning signs of our marriage being in trouble but did not take in how serious it was. But I am going to step back and it is my time. My husband has to take responsiblity for ending our marriage and the aftermath of that. This is the first time that he has actually been around and stayed for the end of a relationship. But he has run away by running to her. But as I said I believe in karma and somewhere down the track I know that he will hit the ground full force. I would like to be around and watch this happen because then the man I married will emerge but better. That is my hope for him. My hope is as simple as breathing. Stop running, face yourself and deal with your demons. There is no satisfaction in running or hiding because the Angels know exactly where you are and what is going on. I have tried for many years to hide but can't keep doing it. So for now I will get up each day, cry when I can to release my pain, walk my dog, pat my cats and put one foot in front of the other. I am terrified of a life without my husband but Very slowly reality is shattering my denial and I can see that I am surviving. Edited September 2, 2011 by Bubby
broken-and-lost Posted September 2, 2011 Posted September 2, 2011 sorry to hear your in so much pain, most of us on the site are for one reason or another i really hope your pain doesn't last any longer then is needed for you to move forward. good luck
Nohbody Posted September 2, 2011 Posted September 2, 2011 Your situation sounds very difficult, but I think you are handling things very well. Making yourself your first priority is very important, and it's good to see that you are trying to do that. I really hope you can find some way to create more physical space between you and he so that you don't have to deal with his bad behavior. Keep up the good work, and I wish you all the best.
ConfusedT Posted September 2, 2011 Posted September 2, 2011 yes, starting off with a lie is a terrible way to start things, but why would you want a man who did that to you in the first place? yes, you loved him, but anyone who loves you wont treat you that way. you may love him as he used to be or for what you wish he could be, but thats not love. he's a bad habit. love yourself and move on!
CopingGal Posted September 2, 2011 Posted September 2, 2011 I am sitting at home with my dog and 3 cats. My husband who separated from me at the end of July is at his NW place and it is obvious that he there screwing her. Am I crazy for putting myself in this situation ? I don't have the savings to be able to move out yet. Not that I want to. He has moved out to the garage. Part way through the night I broke down and my heart broke so I called him several times on his mobile. Of course, he wouldn't answer because I'm such a nuisance. Can't swear so have to use nice words ! People have talked to me about moving on and I just look at them. Don't they think that I am trying ? I'm not a complete moron ! My silly husband thinks I am. I always love the effect of karma. Somewhere down the road he will come to grips with what he has done. You cannot start a relationship based on a lie. And ours was started on the thruth. This new relationship he is in is based on a lie, deceit and betrayal. But i still get up every day. Thank God for my dog and cats and a new friend. I have lost seven kilos because of this situation and have decided to keep going with that. It is my focus to make me feel good and I keep reinforcing with myself what he is really like. I think that reality is starting to sink now. The cold, deceitful man who left me for something greener is a vicious and vindictive man who has not supported me at anytime in the last 3 years and has used me without conscience. He will either pull his head in and the Universe will put him on his knees and he will fall further than he has ever fallen before or he will move on to another situation. But I like to think that the Universe will do us all a favour and put him on his knees. I am just starting to get up off mine bit by bit. Anyone who tells me to move on quickly I am eliminating from my life at present. I adore my husband despite what he has done and I have decided to grieve my loss of him with dignity and slowly I have started to reconnect with myself. There was a reason for this happening to me and it has meant that I have been shocked back to reality and have to face reality. I was aware of warning signs of our marriage being in trouble but did not take in how serious it was. But I am going to step back and it is my time. My husband has to take responsiblity for ending our marriage and the aftermath of that. This is the first time that he has actually been around and stayed for the end of a relationship. But he has run away by running to her. But as I said I believe in karma and somewhere down the track I know that he will hit the ground full force. I would like to be around and watch this happen because then the man I married will emerge but better. That is my hope for him. My hope is as simple as breathing. Stop running, face yourself and deal with your demons. There is no satisfaction in running or hiding because the Angels know exactly where you are and what is going on. I have tried for many years to hide but can't keep doing it. So for now I will get up each day, cry when I can to release my pain, walk my dog, pat my cats and put one foot in front of the other. I am terrified of a life without my husband but Very slowly reality is shattering my denial and I can see that I am surviving. Bubby try reading some self help books about the end of marriages, loving yourself, making your life better....all the good self-help books you can get your hands on. They really do help.
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