missed_theboat Posted September 2, 2011 Posted September 2, 2011 My boyfriend and I fought over the phone Tuesday night. He told me we had to talk the following day, but when I saw him, we only had small-talk and he went to bed (after a long night at work). I left his house Wednesday morning, after only speaking a few casual words to him. He has not called me or texted me since. It’s now Friday morning, and two days have gone by without a single word. I texted him yesterday morning to say good morning, but got nothing. I haven’t texted or called since, but this is extremely frustrating. I wonder if he’s really dumping me or just needing some space. Either way, I feel this is an immature way to deal with problems—to simply ignore them and ignore me. I deserve to know what is happening here. What do you all think?
oaks Posted September 2, 2011 Posted September 2, 2011 What do you all think? Call him, and leave a message if he doesn't answer. Apologise for fighting (even if he's also to blame). Then let him come to you.
OriginalPenguin Posted September 2, 2011 Posted September 2, 2011 The silent treatment. I despise it with every fiber of my being. It is immature and cruel. I feel for you, having been down that road many times. It almost always meant "I didnt want you to get mad". Well guess what, being ignored completely is not all that conducive to warm fuzzies. Call him, and leave a message if he doesn't answer. Apologise for fighting (even if he's also to blame). Then let him come to you. This is about the only thing you can do when presented with this childish tactic. G'luck!
Author missed_theboat Posted September 2, 2011 Author Posted September 2, 2011 I had left him a note on his table from Tuesday night, apologizing. I apologized to his face on Wednesday morning. "I'm really sorry about last night," to which he said nothing except, "You have a good day at work". Then he went to sleep, and I went to work. He had worked a night shift that night, and I didn't want to get into a big discussion after I knew he would be extremely tired. That day, I assumed he'd be resting, although he did have more work to do. So, I only texted him once after work--to say hey. He didn't respond, so I called him a little later, left a voicemail saying that he had told me he wanted to talk, and to call me back if he wanted to talk. Needless to say, he didn't call. So, I waited. I only texted him good morning yesterday, just to gauge his reaction. Nothing. I am afraid of this situation, because it has happened with us many times. He's always called eventually--but not after a period of Hell during which I don't know what his intentions are with us. He's fed up and I understand. I do want to call him again, but I also want to make myself not appear clingy or needy. I am terrified that if I call and he doesn't answer, I'll be devastated. My heart is racing thinking about it. If I call, will it make him think I can't give him space? I would give him space if I knew that's what he wanted, but he literally hasn't filled me in on anything.
oaks Posted September 2, 2011 Posted September 2, 2011 I had left him a note on his table from Tuesday night, apologizing. I hated getting notes. If this situation is happening a lot, as you say, then good luck but it sounds fairly terminal.
Author missed_theboat Posted September 2, 2011 Author Posted September 2, 2011 That is so sad... I am in love with him.
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