angielove Posted September 2, 2011 Posted September 2, 2011 I have been dating this guy for about 5 months now. I love him so much. It's the best relationship I have ever had. Everything is completely perfect.... until he gets really drunk. I have only seen him really drunk twice and both times the same thing has happened. He gets really angry and cries and yells and is mostly incoherent but I think the point he is trying to get across is that "the whole world does not revolve around me and he loved me so much so I should appreciate him more". The first time this happened I was totally shocked! It was a complete 180 on his normal personality. And in the morning when he sobered up he was so embarrassed and couldn't explain what happened and apologized profusely. But then it happened again tonight - in the city after we had dinner with his friends. He started yelling and crying and doing the exact same thing. I tried to talk some sense in to him and talk about how he felt before after he did this but he would not listen, so I jumped in a cab and went to my place. I have about 10 missed calls from him already. My question is what should I do? Is this a deal breaker? I love him but this is just crazy!! I don't know what to do so I thought I would ask... does anyone have any advice or similar experiences? Thank you xx
Ginger Beer Posted September 2, 2011 Posted September 2, 2011 He has a drink problem, tell him to quit. It's a deal breaker in my opinion. Alcohol makes people do terrible things.
wezol Posted September 2, 2011 Posted September 2, 2011 He has a drink problem, tell him to quit. It's a deal breaker in my opinion. Alcohol makes people do terrible things. Not always The drunker I get, the happier and more talkative I get. I've been completely sh*t faced and people tell me that I'm the happiest they've ever seen me. It doesn't matter if I drink beer, whiskey, or tequila. Although the talkative part can bite me in the ass, as I tend to talk about things that I would never talk about sober.
OriginalPenguin Posted September 2, 2011 Posted September 2, 2011 If it happens every time he drinks, that's a HUGE red flag. The elephant in the room here is of course the drinking itself. Can it be cut out completely? If not, there is probably a drinking problem. Another red flag. Big big red flag. I would be terrified of a woman that acted like that everytime she drank no matter how sorry the next morning.
wezol Posted September 2, 2011 Posted September 2, 2011 If it happens every time he drinks, that's a HUGE red flag. The elephant in the room here is of course the drinking itself. Can it be cut out completely? If not, there is probably a drinking problem. Another red flag. Big big red flag. I would be terrified of a woman that acted like that everytime she drank no matter how sorry the next morning. Agreed. He either needs to recognize his problem and quit drinking, or know WHEN to stop so he does not get to that point, but it doesn't sound like he has the wherewith all to slow down or stop.
Author angielove Posted September 2, 2011 Author Posted September 2, 2011 It only happens when he has a lot to drink. After only a few he is totally fine and happy drunk. How many times can this happen before I completely give up? I have already talked to him about it after the first time it happened and he said he would never do it again...
wezol Posted September 2, 2011 Posted September 2, 2011 It only happens when he has a lot to drink. After only a few he is totally fine and happy drunk. How many times can this happen before I completely give up? I have already talked to him about it after the first time it happened and he said he would never do it again... Give him ONE more shot, and the first time he does it, leave him wherever he is. Let him catch a ride home with his friends, and be done with him.
OriginalPenguin Posted September 2, 2011 Posted September 2, 2011 How many times can this happen before I completely give up? The only person who can answer that is you. Sorry if that sounds harsh but I think you know this already.... Not a fun situation to be in when you care for somebody that continues to hurt you. But in the end you are *still* getting hurt.
Cypress25 Posted September 3, 2011 Posted September 3, 2011 Alcohol affects everyone differently. Some people are happy drunks, some people are talkative drunks, some people are sleepy drunks, and some people are angry drunks. Does he remember all the details the next morning? This is a good indication of how drunk he really was. If he doesn't remember anything, then he was probably wasted.
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