HLP234 Posted September 2, 2011 Posted September 2, 2011 Recently my fiance and I got in a huge fight because apparently I work and she doesn't due to an accident and she is still healing. She says I have no time for her. Everyday after work I go to see her. We are suppose to be living together but she won't because she doesn't want to be alone while I'm at work. I have always been there for her through her accident, for watever she needs. I love spending time with her. I'm a software developer so my job is in the city and i work normal shifts but traffic makes me late sometimes. She has been very depressed lately because of other issues. I was made to feel like a horrible person saying I don't care about her and she can't deal with it any more maybe I should find someone that can deal with me. Also i have been helping out my family since they are going through a rough time too. There has not been any days I have not seen or spent time with her. But I usually get tired around 10pm and go home to sleep and she hates this. How can we compromise on something?
PegNosePete Posted September 2, 2011 Posted September 2, 2011 Her demands are totally unreasonable. Yes, you should find someone who can deal with a normal working person's schedule because she clearly can't. Seems you have done absolutely nothing wrong other than to be supportive of her and she is throwing it right back in your face.
silly_panda Posted September 2, 2011 Posted September 2, 2011 I think the accident and her not being able to work contributed to her being emotionally unstable... In my humble opinion, she is blaming herself in some way for being dependent and useless at the moment... She is just taking out on you as a way to express her frustration towards herself... I think the two of you need to talk about it and sort things out... Communication is a very important thing in a relationship... Well... This is just my take on the situation...
Author HLP234 Posted September 2, 2011 Author Posted September 2, 2011 Seems like it and when I try to explain it I get called an a hole. I haven't seen my friends ever because I want to be with her I'm happy spending time together. Her friends left her after her accident while she was healing so I have been there since. I know her and my family don't get along and it always gets thrown back that they have been bad to her. We foyght and argued and i got her to stop packing up. As pathetic as I sounded I try my best to re assure her and tell her she's just feeling this way because she is depressed and going through a lot.
silly_panda Posted September 2, 2011 Posted September 2, 2011 Maybe you could seek professional's help..? Like a psycologist, counselor, etc..? But this really depends on her... If you suggest her to go see these people, it might set her on bigger fire... How bout her family..? Can they help..?
Author HLP234 Posted September 2, 2011 Author Posted September 2, 2011 She takes a lot of depression meds and she doesn't like to involve her family in our arguments. Her sister understand me somewhat and talked to her. I don't want to lose her. It was her idea to say go be with someone who can deal with this. You are right if i agree to that just to make her realize she is loosing someone good will make her pissed. As far as she tells me I've been the best boyfriend ever for her.
silly_panda Posted September 2, 2011 Posted September 2, 2011 This is a tough situation man... You can't go to the 'let's give both of us some time to cool down' road... You need to take care of her and obviously she needs you now more than ever... I will say have a heart to heart talk with her... Just calm and slow talk... Trying to understand each others' situation... Cause you too have your burden with work and family rite..? Sorry for not being a big help...
Author HLP234 Posted September 2, 2011 Author Posted September 2, 2011 Yeh we talked yesterday but I still feel like she feels things are different between us. I have been spending everyday plus weekends with her. It's not like i want time to myself. That was her idea. It is a tough situation. And i appreciate the feedback. Sometimes it helps to just get other perspectives. She just doesn't like that my family needs me for things randomly. I can't help that and i cant say no. It's my family. They may not get along with her and how's she's been acting but that doesn't change my mind about her. And when her family member need something and only I drive, I go to do whatever she needs. So i know I'm trying my best.
silly_panda Posted September 3, 2011 Posted September 3, 2011 Yea... I know you are trying your best... Sadly to say, rite now, this is the most that you could do... I guess time will answer everything... Hang in there man...
Author HLP234 Posted September 5, 2011 Author Posted September 5, 2011 Yeh we will see. It seems not fair that she doesn't want to at least understand my schedule too when I've gone out of my way for things she needed too. Every little thing that I have to do for myself or my family starts an argument about how i never have time for her which isn't true. Most people who spend almost everyday together would understand.
Recommended Posts