Butterflying Posted September 2, 2011 Posted September 2, 2011 Would you rather be told: A) "I'm sorry I just don't see a future for us." B) "We can't see each other anymore because I'm involved with someone else." C) (The person just disappears never to be seen or heard from again) D) "I don't see a future for us; but we can be friends." E) "I can't be with you anymore because I'm in love with someone else; but we can be friends." In my opinion, breaking things off with someone you care about is never easy. But if you want to end things in a way that is kind, yet very clear that you no longer want this person in your life, which is the best way to do it?
Ginger Beer Posted September 2, 2011 Posted September 2, 2011 The real question is why have you fallen in love with someone else when you're already in a relationship? Yes you can't help who you fall for but you don't allow something like that to happen when you're taken. So the correct answer is none.
oaks Posted September 2, 2011 Posted September 2, 2011 If you "no longer want this person in your life" then don't add "but we can be friends" to anything you say because then they might still be in your life. That would be confusing. So, A.
Emilia Posted September 2, 2011 Posted September 2, 2011 A) but with the specific explanation why there is no future
Professor X Posted September 2, 2011 Posted September 2, 2011 Wow, all options but A are just horrible.
Author Butterflying Posted September 2, 2011 Author Posted September 2, 2011 The real question is why have you fallen in love with someone else when you're already in a relationship? Yes you can't help who you fall for but you don't allow something like that to happen when you're taken. So the correct answer is none. Very good point!! So lets say the person is someone you've been dating and having casual sex with. There was no commitment. Then you finally decide to settle with just ONE person (obviously not the one you're dumping). Now you must sever ties with the casual sex buddy. Mind you, this is actually someone you care about too so you don't want to hurt their feelings.
Author Butterflying Posted September 2, 2011 Author Posted September 2, 2011 A) but with the specific explanation why there is no future What if the reason is that you've met someone else you care about more? Wouldn't that be (B) then if you explain it? Or should you explain; but lie and make up another excuse for why there is no future?
Emilia Posted September 2, 2011 Posted September 2, 2011 Very good point!! So lets say the person is someone you've been dating and having casual sex with. There was no commitment. Then you finally decide to settle with just ONE person (obviously not the one you're dumping). Now you must sever ties with the casual sex buddy. Mind you, this is actually someone you care about too so you don't want to hurt their feelings. If you don't want to hurt someone, why do you treat them as casual sex buddies? That's pretty hurtful
Author Butterflying Posted September 2, 2011 Author Posted September 2, 2011 If you don't want to hurt someone, why do you treat them as casual sex buddies? That's pretty hurtful Oh no it was a mutual arrangement to be casual. Then one person meets someone they really want to make a commitment to. So they don't want/ need the buddy anymore. Keeping the buddy would be disrespectful to the exclusive relationship, given the carefree nature of the buddy arrangement.
Emilia Posted September 2, 2011 Posted September 2, 2011 Oh no it was a mutual arrangement to be casual. Then one person meets someone they really want to make a commitment to. So they don't want/ need the buddy anymore. Keeping the buddy would be disrespectful to the exclusive relationship, given the carefree nature of the buddy arrangement. In that case, if the other person doesn't really care because only uses his or her partner as a mutual masturbation tool, it doesn't matter what is said since no-one gives a damn
Menafee Posted September 2, 2011 Posted September 2, 2011 If its just a sex buddy than none of them would really work. Just tell them you have man now. Most likely you wont stay friends, at least ive never managed to stay friends with my buddies. But your not breaking up your just friends. Nothing else should need to be said other than you found someone you want to be with.
zengirl Posted September 2, 2011 Posted September 2, 2011 If it's a sex buddy, just tell them you're getting into something real with someone else or whatever the truth is. Actually, I'm going to go with "the truth in a kind and tactful manner" for how you should always end things. True, but not brutal, is best. If I met someone else I desperately had to leave my BF for (seems very unlike me, frankly, but hypothetically), I'd tell him the truth. The truth is always kinder in the end.
verhrzn Posted September 2, 2011 Posted September 2, 2011 Me, in my current FWB situation, I plan on just suddenly disappearing. No awkward conversations, no need for a formal rejection, just up and pretending I fell off the face of the Earth. However, you can only pull this if you have confirmation that it wouldn't hurt their feelings. I can say with some assurance that my FWB wouldn't blink twice at my sudden disappearance. If you think your FWB does have some feelings for you, you'll need to force yourself to have the "I found someone else, good luck to you" conversation.
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