Buttercup84 Posted September 2, 2011 Posted September 2, 2011 It has been two months since he dumped me and I'm feeling worse . I was getting better but today I feel like **** . My friends and I walked past the place where my ex and I had our first new years eve together . it makes me sick calling him my ex I have to go to a bachalorette party tomorrow and I'm dreading it , I'm getting such bad anxiety . My self confidence is shattered and I can't be bothered with getting dressed up. I just feel so humiliated that he fell out of love with me .
smudge21 Posted September 2, 2011 Posted September 2, 2011 Reality and acceptance is kicking in after so long. You're realising it's truly over and your head is accepting it but your heart is still for him. I know what you're going through. It seems to come and go, often when you least expect it. Just try your best to work through this feeling and find something to distract you, even if it is a party. Oh and those triggers, seeing places you visited with an ex, I hate them too. I work opposite where we first met, which occasionally brings back so many memories. It's not easy, but healing never is.
rosie72 Posted September 2, 2011 Posted September 2, 2011 Oh i really feel for you. I'm in the exact same boat. Two months more or less (with a month of me begging him to stay, and he didnt quite leave). Have you had any days where you feel a little bit better? Or even hours? I know today i feel wretched, but it could well be PMT as the other day i had a little moment of strength. i'm also going through the same thoughts you're having. the endless 'why why why?'. I also cannot bring myself to think of him as my ex - even though he is probably with the girl he cheated on me for right now. In my mind he's still mine, just gone - do you feel that way? About your party, if you feel really terrible dont force yourself, but it might distract you for a while. Are they good friends? I imagine the fact thats its a bachalorette party makes it much worse. i wouldnt want to go either. Its so unfair that this has happened to you - i wish we could turn off the love we have for them so it doesnt hurt. Everyone says it will get better - i guess we have to trust in that. For your anxiety maybe try these guided meditations from meditation oasis (theyre free) - they have helped me calm my thoughts, sleep *slightly* better. Worth a go. Really hope you get through this patch. A book i read 'getting past your breakup' is good - you should order it if you dont already have it. It tells about how we recycle through the phases of grief, sometimes going backwards before moving past it again. maybe thats whats happening to you now. Big hugs and good vibes to you. We musn't let these men beat us!
rosie72 Posted September 2, 2011 Posted September 2, 2011 Reality and acceptance is kicking in after so long. You're realising it's truly over and your head is accepting it but your heart is still for him. I guess reality and acceptance is a sign of moving forward right? Even if it really hurts? I think you've nailed it there
smudge21 Posted September 2, 2011 Posted September 2, 2011 I guess reality and acceptance is a sign of moving forward right? Even if it really hurts? I think you've nailed it there I think we also fear moving forward and accepting the loss. We're prebuilt to win, to work to gain, yet when something fails we feel hopeless and lost. This is so true with relationships as we invest so much into them and when they end, we feel the loss and regret so much. It can be so strong that those feelings of loss actually keep us from healing, we don't want to give in and admit defeat. I know the reason I'm having a hard time moving on is because I simply don't want to. I don't want to admit it's all over, I failed, I lost out to someone else.. etc etc. I put so much into this and thought so hard about it for so long that to give up is just simply wrong. Those feelings will pass, they always do, but until that time it's so hard to give up.
Author Buttercup84 Posted September 3, 2011 Author Posted September 3, 2011 Reality and acceptance is kicking in after so long. You're realising it's truly over and your head is accepting it but your heart is still for him. I know what you're going through. It seems to come and go, often when you least expect it. Just try your best to work through this feeling and find something to distract you, even if it is a party. Oh and those triggers, seeing places you visited with an ex, I hate them too. I work opposite where we first met, which occasionally brings back so many memories. It's not easy, but healing never is. Oh no , I am sorry you work so close to that place. Thank you will try my best.Good luck x
Coupedriver Posted September 3, 2011 Posted September 3, 2011 We musn't let these men beat us! I didnt know this was a contest..and to think I thought MEN had feelings too...Guess I was wrong...We must be SO hard to live with...
Author Buttercup84 Posted September 3, 2011 Author Posted September 3, 2011 I didnt know this was a contest..and to think I thought MEN had feelings too...Guess I was wrong...We must be SO hard to live with... I think she just meant our ex's not men in general.
mike588 Posted September 3, 2011 Posted September 3, 2011 I know what your going thru. My now ex g/f left me 4 weeks ago and it's hard to go to places where the 2 of you went to, brings up those good times. I put a rubber band around my wrist and everytime I think of her I snap it to remind me not to think/ dwell on it. In my 5 weeks now I'm starting to feel better, you will too.
AHardDaysNight Posted September 3, 2011 Posted September 3, 2011 Leave the misogyny out of this thread.
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