mistaken Posted May 6, 2004 Posted May 6, 2004 Hi all... This is my first post on this board and I'm really desperate for some advice. Okay so here's the low down: I've been with this guy for about six months and I'm sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo into him but he constantly lies to me about things. He lies to me about having to go somewhere with his family and then I find out that he has gone out with his mates (who he's never introduced me to and some don't even know I exist). I really beleive him when he says he doesnt cheat on me... I know he flirts and I'm sure he's come close to cheating, otherwise why would he refuse to take me with him to meet his friends just once? I don't want to smother him... and I do expect a lot from him because I have no one else left in my life (family, friends) because Ive sacrificed them all to be with him. I need to understand guy logic and I need to know what I can do to seem more desirable to him. I know that he loves me but because Ive taken him back sooooo many times he takes advantage of me and abuses my emotions and my kindness. I just want someone to tell me what I can do to make him want me or realise just how awesome I am. Thanks alot.
bluechocolate Posted May 6, 2004 Posted May 6, 2004 Yikes - where is Red Flag Rick when you need him... He lies to you, doesn't introduce you to his friends AND you believe he's not cheating on you??? AND you know that he loves you? AND you've sacrificed everyone else in your life to be with this guy? There is no "guy logic" at work here, just him & you. You've turned yourself into a door mat and he's wiping his feet all over you. No one is going to be able to tell you how to make him want you or how to make him see how awesome you are. If you were truly awesome you'd demand the respect that you're owed in a relationship & get rid of him for good when he doesn't show it to you. Do yourself a favour - dump him & don't take him back.
BlockHead Posted May 6, 2004 Posted May 6, 2004 bluechocolate There is no "guy logic" at work here, just him & you.Agreed! You should never sacrifice your family and friends for a guy especially a very dishonest one. I don’t expect this guy to be grateful for anything. Who’s Looking Out for You? by Bill O’Reilly p201 Nobody gets away unscathed in the personal arena; at one time or another we are all victimized. But you can cut down on personal pain if you simply follow your instincts and not your heart. Repeat: Go with what you know, not with what you feel. The solution to toxic people is simple but difficult. You must divert yourself away from them. Once again it comes down to discipline. If the fruit tastes good but you bleed after eating it, you’ve got to dine elsewhere or be drained all the time. You have plenty of good people in your life, but one emotional partner who is pernicious can negate them all. Remember, chaos always breeds more chaos. If a romantic partner (or even a family member) is causing you consistent and unnecessary pain, get out and stay out. The short-tern feeling of loss is nothing compared to the damage that a truly bad or weak person can do to your life. You must see people as they are, not as you want them to be. You are not going to change a callous, cruel, selfish person.
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