ksmit Posted September 2, 2011 Posted September 2, 2011 I'm seeking advice as to how I can effectively express my personality when dating because I'm starting to realize how lonely I am and want to make a change. I've always been unsure about how desirable I might be and never knew how I could highlight my strong points to a girl. So consider the information below, tell me what kind of girl you are (shy/outgoing), your age, how often you get hit on, and how attractive I seem as a potential boyfriend to you. Personal: 24 years old 5'11; thin; somewhat athletic, not bulky Insecure; plagued with anxiety disorders; somewhat neurotic People say I'm better than average looking; I've attracted very gorgeous women in the past (but f*** up, woops) Relationships: Never had a girlfriend (people get surprised) Never kissed Never been intimate Personal: Very reserved and professional; business-minded; intuitive; creative; driven for high success; risk taker in business; big dreamer; extremely passionate Romantically - very sensitive; caring; loving; extremely loyal and trustworthy Status: Bachelor's Degree in IT Recent graduate; starting $40k/year; great job with room for advancement Lifestyle: Very solitary; work out regularly; work nearly 24/7 on self-improvement and my own business endeavors; I only have a couple friends that I hang out with maybe 3 times a month and I don't really enjoy it Likes: I would rather stay home watching a movie with a girlfriend than going out to a bar or party Dislikes: I hate going out to bars; I hate partying; I hate obnoxious/loud environments; girls with no self respect; whores; smokers; drug abusers; recklessness How I would treat you: Our dates would often be in romantic, exotic, and low key areas; much romance and passionate loving; I would put enormous effort into the relationship and try to be the best boyfriend I could possibly be; I would expect us to both help each other grow to reach our full life potential, mentally and physically. So how boring do I sound? Is there anything else you want to know?
USMCHokie Posted September 2, 2011 Posted September 2, 2011 This thread is useless without pics. And this is definitely not the way to attract a woman...you don't bring resumes with you to give to women you hope to approach, do you...? Then don't think of attraction as what you read on a piece of paper...
Author ksmit Posted September 2, 2011 Author Posted September 2, 2011 Haha, no pics. My anonymity is too precious. I'm not trying to attract women, I just want to know what women think of my qualities and how I might be able to express them. I am NOT the average guy.
Pierre Posted September 2, 2011 Posted September 2, 2011 This thread is useless without pics. And this is definitely not the way to attract a woman...you don't bring resumes with you to give to women you hope to approach, do you...? Then don't think of attraction as what you read on a piece of paper... You must be dating airhead shallow women. Most intelligent serious women would be attracted to the OP.
Author ksmit Posted September 2, 2011 Author Posted September 2, 2011 You must be dating airhead shallow women. Most intelligent serious women would be attracted to the OP. I appreciate that Pierre. I like to believe I would make a good boyfriend but breaking the ice with a girl is excruciatingly painful for me. Is it attractive to women to know I haven't been with several women before? I might not be the best lover at first but have faith I could master it. Part of why I generally avoid women is because I assume they've all been with tons of dudes before. Recent statistics say 1 in 4 women have herpes, 1 in 2 have HPV, which leads me to believe 90%+ have at least something. Disgusting.
xoxoDaniellexoxo Posted September 2, 2011 Posted September 2, 2011 I appreciate that Pierre. I like to believe I would make a good boyfriend but breaking the ice with a girl is excruciatingly painful for me. Is it attractive to women to know I haven't been with several women before? I might not be the best lover at first but have faith I could master it. Part of why I generally avoid women is because I assume they've all been with tons of dudes before. Recent statistics say 1 in 4 women have herpes, 1 in 2 have HPV, which leads me to believe 90%+ have at least something. Disgusting. You know HPV is not always sexual right? You can contract it from air, or touch, not just sex. Just saying! But yeah so for the students at Arizona State 2/3 have an STD!! EWW!
USMCHokie Posted September 2, 2011 Posted September 2, 2011 You must be dating airhead shallow women. Most intelligent serious women would be attracted to the OP. Attraction is based on a combination of factors, one of which is the physical component which is usually the most important initially. I just didn't want OP to believe that he was entitled to have women feel attracted to him based on his resume. There's so much more to it than that. It's the intangibles that matter most. And you can't measure those social intangibles outside of a social setting (i.e., OP cannot self-evaluate them, especially if he's not very social as he admitted).
rosejovovich Posted September 2, 2011 Posted September 2, 2011 have more confidence of yourself, you are a nice guy.
Author ksmit Posted September 2, 2011 Author Posted September 2, 2011 I think I need to make this easier for everyone. If you could even tell me which characteristics you particularly like and how I could portray them would be helpful. What really stands out for you? Nice to see you again xoxoDaniellexoxo! You were right about not hugging that girl the other night. I'm was clearly friend-zoned and she doesn't want to be around me anymore. Thanks for the nice comment rosejovovich. It was short but meaningful to me. I am a nice guy and would never wrong-do anybody.
xoxoDaniellexoxo Posted September 2, 2011 Posted September 2, 2011 I think I need to make this easier for everyone. If you could even tell me which characteristics you particularly like and how I could portray them would be helpful. What really stands out for you? Nice to see you again xoxoDaniellexoxo! You were right about not hugging that girl the other night. I'm was clearly friend-zoned and she doesn't want to be around me anymore. Thanks for the nice comment rosejovovich. It was short but meaningful to me. I am a nice guy and would never wrong-do anybody. I am so sorry I am right!!! I didn't want to be right about it though!! YOu will find a girl who appricates you for who you are!
FitChick Posted September 2, 2011 Posted September 2, 2011 On paper, you look good but what do you look like in person? Pointless exercise.
LZ2000 Posted September 2, 2011 Posted September 2, 2011 This thread is useless without pics. Come on, give the guy a break. Well OP, you know I think if you wanna get at least some decent feedback, try not to focus on your achievements and elaborate (seriously!) more on your personality, preferences, ideals, personal philosophy, perspectives and interests. my 2 cents
phillyfan Posted September 2, 2011 Posted September 2, 2011 Dude bottom line u need 2 make a girl feel comfortable. U probly look good, good job, but mayb ur manner around a girl aint makin them comfortable thts ur problem, thts why u f*ck it up with the hot ones. U need 2 just start datin 2 get practice, cos rite now u aint got any experience of wat works wit a girl or wat a girl wants on a date, how 2 kiss etc. Just go out do it keep the faith keep datin, get used 2 bein around chicks thn ull do betta.
Emilia Posted September 2, 2011 Posted September 2, 2011 You must be dating airhead shallow women. Most intelligent serious women would be attracted to the OP. No, the OP is anti-social and awkward. I would not be attracted to that no matter how good looking
Professor X Posted September 2, 2011 Posted September 2, 2011 What is this, a resume?? Besides, from my own personal experience, what you wrote at the OP is moot. You really don't know yourself until you're in a RS (and you've never been in one). So keep in mind that you need more than what you just wrote, a lot more.
rafallus Posted September 2, 2011 Posted September 2, 2011 After the fact you didn't kiss that girl, I'd say you aren't very attractive in the end. You can probably initially attract a girl, but you lose them due to being passive, which is a granddaddy of all turn offs.
Janesays Posted September 2, 2011 Posted September 2, 2011 I'm not attracted to men who call women whores. *shrugs
Yookie Posted September 2, 2011 Posted September 2, 2011 Your insecurities, anxiety disorderd and neurosis will be a deal breaker for most sane women. Take care of those first then you'll have a much better chance of success.
ScienceGal Posted September 2, 2011 Posted September 2, 2011 I'd give you a shot... But for anything lasting, you'd have to learn to be confident without being cocky. You need to know what you're worth so that you're able to express what you want in a relationship and not compromise things that are important to you. Nothing is more attractive than a man that knows what he wants but is also a total sweatheart
Author ksmit Posted September 2, 2011 Author Posted September 2, 2011 I know this isn't the most orthodox post but I did receive valuable feedback and I thank you all for it. I've come to realize that I might not be as messed up as I think. I've just always been overcritical of myself and over analyze things to a point I drive myself mad. The fact I managed to get 4 dates with a drop dead gorgeous girl (9/10) without having any prior dating experience should say something. If I was as socially awkward as a I think I am, I don't think I would have got that far. My only issue was not breaking the touch barrier and not being aggressive enough romantically.
antinko Posted September 2, 2011 Posted September 2, 2011 The only real issue you have Mr OP is that you say you're very private and don't really branch out. You're not going to have much hope of getting a girlfriend if you're so insular. The fact you haven't posted a picture is irrelevant. Advice: Expand your circle of contacts and friends and open yourself up a bit more. Privacy and being a bit reserved is admirable, but shutting yourself off to the world will achieve nothing.
antinko Posted September 2, 2011 Posted September 2, 2011 I know this isn't the most orthodox post but I did receive valuable feedback and I thank you all for it. I've come to realize that I might not be as messed up as I think. I've just always been overcritical of myself and over analyze things to a point I drive myself mad. The fact I managed to get 4 dates with a drop dead gorgeous girl (9/10) without having any prior dating experience should say something. If I was as socially awkward as a I think I am, I don't think I would have got that far. My only issue was not breaking the touch barrier and not being aggressive enough romantically. Let go of 'thinking' too much and try to go with gut instinct. The worst which can happen is that you don't get anywhere, but since you're presently not getting anywhere anyway, I don't see that as much of a problem. Logically, let go a bit, go with instinct and you're likely to make some progress. Even if you get rejected by making moves, you'll learn what works and what doesn't with different girls.
Author ksmit Posted September 2, 2011 Author Posted September 2, 2011 I'd give you a shot... But for anything lasting, you'd have to learn to be confident without being cocky. You need to know what you're worth so that you're able to express what you want in a relationship and not compromise things that are important to you. Nothing is more attractive than a man that knows what he wants but is also a total sweatheart Awww you're so sweet. <3 You raise a good point about confidence. The thing is, if someone gave me a shot I think my confidence would go up dramatically. The hardest thing for me is opening up to people. Internet forums are the only place I open up to.
leftfordead2 Posted September 2, 2011 Posted September 2, 2011 I'm seeking advice as to how I can effectively express my personality when dating because I'm starting to realize how lonely I am and want to make a change. I've always been unsure about how desirable I might be and never knew how I could highlight my strong points to a girl. So consider the information below, tell me what kind of girl you are (shy/outgoing), your age, how often you get hit on, and how attractive I seem as a potential boyfriend to you. Personal: 24 years old 5'11; thin; somewhat athletic, not bulky Insecure; plagued with anxiety disorders; somewhat neurotic People say I'm better than average looking; I've attracted very gorgeous women in the past (but f*** up, woops) Relationships: Never had a girlfriend (people get surprised) Never kissed Never been intimate Personal: Very reserved and professional; business-minded; intuitive; creative; driven for high success; risk taker in business; big dreamer; extremely passionate Romantically - very sensitive; caring; loving; extremely loyal and trustworthy Status: Bachelor's Degree in IT Recent graduate; starting $40k/year; great job with room for advancement Lifestyle: Very solitary; work out regularly; work nearly 24/7 on self-improvement and my own business endeavors; I only have a couple friends that I hang out with maybe 3 times a month and I don't really enjoy it Likes: I would rather stay home watching a movie with a girlfriend than going out to a bar or party Dislikes: I hate going out to bars; I hate partying; I hate obnoxious/loud environments; girls with no self respect; whores; smokers; drug abusers; recklessness How I would treat you: Our dates would often be in romantic, exotic, and low key areas; much romance and passionate loving; I would put enormous effort into the relationship and try to be the best boyfriend I could possibly be; I would expect us to both help each other grow to reach our full life potential, mentally and physically. So how boring do I sound? Is there anything else you want to know? You are my type! I'd definitely date you!
Author ksmit Posted September 2, 2011 Author Posted September 2, 2011 Thanks leftfordead2. It upsets me that you quoted my entire first post though.
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