monkeyshaman Posted September 2, 2011 Posted September 2, 2011 Here's my back stories and posts. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t293932/ http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t294231/ Long story short is that my gf of 3.5 years feels like she lost herself (depression and physical pain) and needed to get away from pressures to sort herself out. Pretty good breakup (I wasn't happy, but understood). Anyway I went NC after she went to stay with her cousin but broke it a week in. Conversation went ok I didnt make it too long or much about the relationship. Then I went on NC again and managed to stay off facebook which was huge. Well then 4 days later (today) she shows up. Shes telling me that shes eating better and working out a little bit. She trying to get out of the funk she has been in and is feeling a little bit better. She said she just feels numb and empty (depression) and still needs to work on coming back to life. Everytime I started talking about how I miss her and how I was glad shes doing well she would tell me to stop (not mean) because it was making her feel bad and miss me. I still understand the need for her to be on her own and told her I'm glad that she is figuring this stuff out, as well as the fact I am getting back to a lot of things that I have been missing. I did throw a couple things out there to make her want to come back but also said I only want her to come back if she wants to come back. She apologized for some jokes on facebook she had with her sisters about being pregnant or something(luckily I stayed off it, so I didn't even know). Then I we hugged said goodbye and I love you to each other. She then calls me ten minutes later to ask me about protein shakes? I am kind of confused at the moment, I dont feel like she is just stringing me along but at the same time I do. She tells me that I should not wait and should think about things during this too. I told her I love myself and what I am doing in my life. Am I just being a sucker or is this girl really trying to get better and hopes we will be together. I know none of you can answer it but what are you opinions. ok it wasnt that short sorry.
magnus mateo Posted September 2, 2011 Posted September 2, 2011 Hmmm... There is something inside of you telling you something does not feel right. I would listen to yourself. Proceed with caution. You could be sincere. Or, she could be stringing you along. I would set some boundaries. Right now, you life is at a stand still until she decides what she wants. Hopefully, for your sake, she wants you. If not, you end up wasting precious time in your life. Find out where the two of are with the relationship and where you are going. Hope this helps. Good luck!
Author monkeyshaman Posted September 2, 2011 Author Posted September 2, 2011 Thanks Magnus, Yeah I am trying not to get pulled by the feeling of wanting her back and am trying to use my mind to realize the situation. I just started school again so I at least have some great stuff to put my focus on, that really makes me feel great. I do want her back but I am reluctant because I know she has to work through a lot of personal issues and think that jumping back quickly with me will only create a situation where more disfunction can happen. I hope she has creates some big strides in her development and realizes that she wants me in it but I cant shut my life out until that happens because it isnt fair to me, like you said. Also she may not ever come back and well if I waited around for her forever then it would be wrong to myself, as I have a lot to give for someone who is willing to appreciate it. Well thanks to the advice.
Dblock10 Posted September 2, 2011 Posted September 2, 2011 just be happy she is still in your life even if its not as you had imagined..? also, she told you not to wait. i find this interesting cause i dont really know why girls say that, is it because they wont wait, or is it because they are testing you...?
Author monkeyshaman Posted September 2, 2011 Author Posted September 2, 2011 Dblock thanks for the response. I guess its ok, and I am happy we still care about eachother but I just dont want to get to the stage where I am still in love with her and she isnt for years or something ridiculous like that. My brother said that you take it until you decide you cant anymore. And that made me feel a little better because it helped me to realize that I do have some say in what is going on within myself. Right now I am trying to focus on myself and the things I love. I don't feel the need (usually) to go out and find another girl to cover up the pain but at the same time I don't want to be seen as waiting around for her in a pathetic kind of way. I may be taking her feelings into consideration to much at this point. But I just dont want to jump from woman to woman, I am trying to get a hold of myself and strengthen my own development. All the second guessing is very problematic. Like I expected her to call last night, I don't know why. Guess I thought that seeing me would spark some sort of decision on her part. I told her she has to decide what she wants from life but I have to as well. Its just so very confusing.
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