M2155 Posted September 1, 2011 Posted September 1, 2011 Let's say you are in a fairly fresh breakup and something terrible happens to your ex (who is happily in a new relationship), like they found out their family member is terminally ill and may not make it much longer. They did not tell you this themselves of course because you do not speak. Would you reach out to them and say condolences or just stay NC? Just knowing and ignoring it does hurt I must say:(. But they have someone else to support them emotionally since shutting me out of their life. I'd be scared to call for fear of being ignored (surely he thinks I'd give the "how could you do this to me" speal) so it would be email or something like that...IF I did. I'm doing well personally but I do still have feelings. I'd never "act" on those right now because I don't trust him and I know he is very happy now (hopefully not about hurting me the way he did:mad:). But it hurts to know I can't even say "hey I'm sorry" as the good person in me wants to be above the horrible way he treated me to get out of our relationship. It's pretty hard to shut someone out totally. I wish I didn't know. And I wish I didn't care. I don't know if it would do any good. It's sad to ride that ride with them for as long as you did and then....Nothing.
channy3418 Posted September 1, 2011 Posted September 1, 2011 Do not contact !!!! Let's say you are in a fairly fresh breakup and something terrible happens to your ex (who is happily in a new relationship), like they found out their family member is terminally ill and may not make it much longer. They did not tell you this themselves of course because you do not speak. Would you reach out to them and say condolences or just stay NC? Just knowing and ignoring it does hurt I must say:(. But they have someone else to support them emotionally since shutting me out of their life. I'd be scared to call for fear of being ignored (surely he thinks I'd give the "how could you do this to me" speal) so it would be email or something like that...IF I did. I'm doing well personally but I do still have feelings. I'd never "act" on those right now because I don't trust him and I know he is very happy now (hopefully not about hurting me the way he did:mad:). But it hurts to know I can't even say "hey I'm sorry" as the good person in me wants to be above the horrible way he treated me to get out of our relationship. It's pretty hard to shut someone out totally. I wish I didn't know. And I wish I didn't care. I don't know if it would do any good. It's sad to ride that ride with them for as long as you did and then....Nothing.
HeartOfAPhoenix Posted September 1, 2011 Posted September 1, 2011 Do not contact your ex. If the family member is someone that you are extremely close to I don't see any problem with contacting that family member to let them know that they are in your thoughts but do not do this if it means you will have contact with your ex.
Dblock10 Posted September 1, 2011 Posted September 1, 2011 how did you find out. id like my ex to find out about my nan tbh.
Badenov Posted September 1, 2011 Posted September 1, 2011 At most you can send her a sympathy card--no message, just a signature.
coolheadal Posted September 1, 2011 Posted September 1, 2011 If it's someone in your ex family? Did that person in the ex family stand-up for you after your breakup. Sometimes just have to look the other-way. When they say don't contact your ex they're right. DO NOT TALK TO HER!
Casablanca Posted September 1, 2011 Posted September 1, 2011 I think it is fine if you were close to that person or if you knew that person was close/important to your ex...just a sympathy card or something, dont start some conversation or anything
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