ikermall Posted September 1, 2011 Posted September 1, 2011 Hey guys, I'll try to keep this short. My ex-gf and I had been going out for about 2.5 years until she broke up with me last thursday. We have had a semi long-distance relationship as she goes to college here but goes home for summer. Anyways, we were MADLY in love with each other and everyone knew it. We had our future set and everything. Talked about marriage, kids, the whole enchilada. Past few weeks we havent talked all that much because she's been really busy at home, however, whenever we did talk it wasn't all that romantic, just small talk. She finally calls me on thursday and says she doesn't love me anymore and doesn't see me as her husband. She said that I am a great guy but for somebody else?! So i made the mistake of calling her the next day and begged and pleaded. She finally hung up on me Ever since I haven't contacted her in anyway (so thats 6 days today of nc). Guys I really want her back! Here's the kicker. She left for Spain today! Isn't it going to be hard to get her back when she's so far? And I know for a fact she did not break up with me so she could fool around in spain (she's too damn shy to do it). Her sister is trying to help me. She told me that she has deleted all my emails and fb messages. Does this really mean she's over me? I'm going to stick through the 1 month NC period, but damn it's hard. I know my gf is really strong emotionally so i don't think she'll cave. But any thoughts??? sorry for the long message.
silly_panda Posted September 1, 2011 Posted September 1, 2011 Something had happen in her life... You obviously didn't do anything bad that could screw up your relationship rite..? I will say she met someone... Or she is having the GIGS... She looks determined on getting you out of your life... Really nothing you can do about it... I recon you do the same too... I know it's hard and painful and rite now all you wan is to get her back... She made a choice of breaking up with you... The is surely a trigger/reason why she did that and I think you may never find out... For now... You gotta love yourself... Move on... If she truly loves you, she will come back... No point worrying about it... Just hang in there...
Author ikermall Posted September 1, 2011 Author Posted September 1, 2011 Thanks for the response however I know for a fact that she is not talking to anyone. I know she may be interestd in someone, but she isn't talking to anyone (i'm really close with her sister who's helping me). Weird thing is. I haven't been super emotional about it like I usually am. I've thought things through and I know she's the one, I'm going to fight for her. I just want to be smart in my approach.
silly_panda Posted September 1, 2011 Posted September 1, 2011 When will she be back from Spain..? Maybe then you will get to know things better... But just be ready for the worst case scenario... Well... You being calm is a good thing... Show that you are mature... I will fight for the person that I love too... No doubt... Wish you luck and keep us updated...
flitzanu Posted September 1, 2011 Posted September 1, 2011 first thing, you're NOT as close to her sister as she is. don't believe that for a second. also, you don't know for a fact she's not talking to someone else, you'd have to be with her 24/7 to know that. you'd be amazed how easily girls find new guys and we never know. it sucks, i'm sorry, but her actions are pretty resolute. she's deleting you from her life, sounds like you should drop it. begging and pleading won't do a thing, neither will being her friend. her sister will eventually turn on you too, so don't plead your case or cry to her, it's only going to get back to the girl and she's going to resent you for involving her family in your breakup. just be glad she didn't marry you a week before this happened right?
Author ikermall Posted September 1, 2011 Author Posted September 1, 2011 She'll be back from Spain in January. As for her not talking to anyone I have hard proof of it, trust me I'm not in denial. And you're right, i'm not as close to her sister and I would like. But, she even she was shocked that this happened and doesn't agree with the decision. My ex told her already that she wants to be friends (we all here that). I'm just sticking to NC for a month for now. I'm confident I can get back on talking terms with her and not bring up the past. Only thing is, she's really strong-headed for a girl. It'll take a lot for her fall for me again. Guess it's a challenge right??
silly_panda Posted September 2, 2011 Posted September 2, 2011 January huh..? You do understand a lot can happen during that time rite..? Well... You do what you think is rite for you... But when it's really time to let go, just let it go alrite..? Sometimes in order to get what you wan, you need to let it go first... If she is having the GIGS, doesn't mean that she needs to have someone new in her life... She might just wanna be single again and experience life... You can search and read some post on this issue... I really hope things work out for you... Remember not to put all your energy and hopes into this... You got a few months to work on yourself... Use it wisely... Hang in there man...
Author ikermall Posted September 2, 2011 Author Posted September 2, 2011 yea i know a lot can happen from now until january. I've seen some people on this forum not really advocating going down the friends route, but I know it's my only chance. Think that's my plan after the month is over. Just going to relax and see where things go. But damn it makes me nervous!
wolf1one Posted September 2, 2011 Posted September 2, 2011 Wow man, you seem like a good guy and you had one night of emotional panic. BUT do not even think about waiting for her right now. You got to just forget about any chances right now, because she laid it on thick ... she does not want to be with you. You say that you want to be her friend ... but you know you are using it as a "chance" to get back with her. Listen, as a man that has a penchant for taking ex's back, just take it from my experiences that you've got to use no contact as a means to get over her ... not get her back. She's already made a straight decision to cut all ties of you from her life. If you are truly looking for a second chance, then prepare for an uphill and patient patient patient battle. My advice to you down this road is to let her go, and NOT contact her for the remainder of the time that she is in Spain. I promise you that she will be annoyed that you are trying to contact her while she is out having an adventure and soul-searching. This chapter of her life is not about you, so let it be. She will at least appreciate this once she gets back, and you have the infamous coffee date (if you still want to do this by then). Really though ... take the time to heal, grab some clarity, and grow. DO NOT WAIT!!!
Author ikermall Posted September 2, 2011 Author Posted September 2, 2011 Thanks for all the responses! Each day of NC is getting better and better for myself. I'll do my best to keep you all updated
Dblock10 Posted September 2, 2011 Posted September 2, 2011 (edited) good luck man. but yeah im in similar boat. my ex gets back in march next year.. after 6 months travelling living it up! its nice you can still talk to her sister. and you say she doesnt agree with it. well, remember its not her sister decision at the end of the day. you dont want to keep in contact with the sister, or your ex can gain any information from you when ever she likes. girls are not attracted to needy guys that cant and wont let go... its just life! begging and pledding i never did. it makes you surrender all your power them. if they know you, they know you care, she knows you love her. you dont need to get all emotional on her. girls dont like guys who are not in control of their emotions. and like me, you have to accept she wont be around "to get her back anyway"... you just need to accept it is what it is, as hard as that is. forgetting them for "now" not "forever" is best. being a friend is fine... but you will end up as just a friend lol. not a good route if you love her.. go nc, be yourself and let us know what you do next. i for one would be intrigued. peace Edited September 2, 2011 by Dblock10
Author ikermall Posted September 4, 2011 Author Posted September 4, 2011 aw dude that sucks that you have to wait till march. i guess it's the same for me because once she gets back in january, she'll be leaving in like two days for Catalina Island until may :/ im staying strong though. thanks for the advice!
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