Balance11 Posted September 1, 2011 Posted September 1, 2011 Known this girl for over a year, we've had a weird relationship, in that we never were friends in the sense we hung out together and that, but we both got on really well, we used to text each other everyday and see each other now and then, we got closer and one night things nearly went futher but they didn't and after that it drfited apart. Eventually I decided to tell the girl I liked her, to which she told me she used to like me but after that one night nothing seemed to happen and I was always busy and things just kept getting in the way and she decided she liked me as a friend. She said she wanted to be friends when I was ready to talk again. Later the same day I text her saying I wanted to be friends and I said I was happy and moved on, (I meant to say to her I could move on but I missed that out) and things had actually turned out really well and I still had her as a good friend. To which I got no reply. Its been over a month now, I don't get why after knowing each other for a year, seeing each other quite often either at my work or going out just the 2 of us and texting everyday she'd so easily forget I exist ? I've been seeing other girls and I'm happy and pretty much over it so I'm not hoping that I will ever get with her but I just want to understand why to get ultimate closure.
Llakdknek Posted September 1, 2011 Posted September 1, 2011 It's hard to say. She's the only one who could tell you, but my guess is that she's retaliating, in a sense, for you distancing yourself from her and that it hurt her (hence the retaliation). Whatever the case, you might never get the real story, but if a friendship is going to be that difficult, do you really want it?
Author Balance11 Posted September 1, 2011 Author Posted September 1, 2011 I guess i used to want a friendship for that who knows what might happen down the line scenario now not so much just need the closure on why. I mean my life has been easier without thinking over every little word in a text she sends me, every ittle detail if we met up etc and as i say i'm meeting other women, but there's this gut feeling i have,that she has some part to play in the future which is whats driving me to find an answer. Ultimately i'm not going to contact her, why should i ? Hopefully this phase will go in time but i still want closure if you get me.
KathyM Posted September 1, 2011 Posted September 1, 2011 Known this girl for over a year, we've had a weird relationship, in that we never were friends in the sense we hung out together and that, but we both got on really well, we used to text each other everyday and see each other now and then, we got closer and one night things nearly went futher but they didn't and after that it drfited apart. Eventually I decided to tell the girl I liked her, to which she told me she used to like me but after that one night nothing seemed to happen and I was always busy and things just kept getting in the way and she decided she liked me as a friend. She said she wanted to be friends when I was ready to talk again. Later the same day I text her saying I wanted to be friends and I said I was happy and moved on, (I meant to say to her I could move on but I missed that out) and things had actually turned out really well and I still had her as a good friend. To which I got no reply. Its been over a month now, I don't get why after knowing each other for a year, seeing each other quite often either at my work or going out just the 2 of us and texting everyday she'd so easily forget I exist ? I've been seeing other girls and I'm happy and pretty much over it so I'm not hoping that I will ever get with her but I just want to understand why to get ultimate closure. You sound like you don't know how to make progress in a relationship. If you were interested in the girl to be more than friends, you should have made that known to her. I think she finds your intentions confusing. Maybe she was waiting for you to make a move or give her an indication that you were interested in something with her, and you kind of dropped the ball on that. She probably sees no reason to continue communicating with you.
Author Balance11 Posted September 1, 2011 Author Posted September 1, 2011 Kinda, Over a year ago when i first met her, her friend ask my number off me for her, within a couple months of texting each other i told her i liked her, at that time she said she wasn't looking for anything but was flattered, we didn't speak for a week, she text me and from there we kept texting and got closer till the night mentioned in the first post. I made my intentions clear within the first few months of knowing her, she rejected me back then so i'm sure you can understand why i was hesitant to try again. I was waiting for her to do something obvious which she really didn't do. So we had this type of friendship where she knew i liked her we texted, saw each other now and then and its kept like that till a month ago when i made my feelings clear for the second time, the time mentioned in the first post.
KathyM Posted September 1, 2011 Posted September 1, 2011 Kinda, Over a year ago when i first met her, her friend ask my number off me for her, within a couple months of texting each other i told her i liked her, at that time she said she wasn't looking for anything but was flattered, we didn't speak for a week, she text me and from there we kept texting and got closer till the night mentioned in the first post. I made my intentions clear within the first few months of knowing her, she rejected me back then so i'm sure you can understand why i was hesitant to try again. I was waiting for her to do something obvious which she really didn't do. So we had this type of friendship where she knew i liked her we texted, saw each other now and then and its kept like that till a month ago when i made my feelings clear for the second time, the time mentioned in the first post. You spent too long in texting mode and were too slow to make progress. If a girl shows an interest, which she did by having her friend ask for your number, or if you have an interest in a girl, arrange a date from the start, and get to know each other in person. If you move too slow, people lose interest. I think that's what has happened in your case.
Author Balance11 Posted September 1, 2011 Author Posted September 1, 2011 Don't think i explained this right, her friend ask for the number, the following day i added her on facebook, she message me on there asking what her friend had said and i asked her if she actually wanted my number, she said no so i forgot about it, aweek later she randomly texts me and we start talking from there, then after awhile i told her i liked her for the first time and got the i'm not looking for anything response, then after another week she starts texting again, and we get closer to the point where things nearly go futher but dont. That point was around march beginning of april a good 7 nealry 8 month into knowing each other, it was 4 month later i told her i liked her again, in that time we had went out on what i believed to be dates twice (just the two of us,movies and then talking the park together for hours.) as well as texting every day and seeing each other at my work occasionally if she came in to see me.
KathyM Posted September 1, 2011 Posted September 1, 2011 Don't think i explained this right, her friend ask for the number, the following day i added her on facebook, she message me on there asking what her friend had said and i asked her if she actually wanted my number, she said no so i forgot about it, aweek later she randomly texts me and we start talking from there, then after awhile i told her i liked her for the first time and got the i'm not looking for anything response, then after another week she starts texting again, and we get closer to the point where things nearly go futher but dont. That point was around march beginning of april a good 7 nealry 8 month into knowing each other, it was 4 month later i told her i liked her again, in that time we had went out on what i believed to be dates twice (just the two of us,movies and then talking the park together for hours.) as well as texting every day and seeing each other at my work occasionally if she came in to see me. Well, it's like you said. Your relationship is kind of weird. Sounds like she wasn't interested in you, but her friend tried to get something going between the two of you. It sounds like she really wasn't interested from the start, and she made a small effort to see if anything might develop, but it never really did. Two dates in 8 months with her doesn't sound too promising. She's just not into you. I would suggest you not waste your time trying to pursue her, and look for other girls who would have more of an interest. But I would suggest for future relationships that you try to make more progress in a relationship sooner, like right from the start. If it progresses too slowly, people lose interest.
Author Balance11 Posted September 1, 2011 Author Posted September 1, 2011 I'm not actively trying to pursue her, i mean honestly if the opportunity came up i really wonder would i bother now, its just annoying because we've talked in some form or other everyday for over a year pretty much, and now because i said i liked her i no longer seem to exist to her, that's what i don't get, the first time i told her she rejected me basically but continued talking, i'm just curious as to why i no longer exist to her over something small which in all honesty it is.
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