beefolive Posted September 1, 2011 Posted September 1, 2011 Ive been going through a tough break up over the last month or so and i guess the question that keeps going through my head all the time is.... IS IT POSSIBLE TO GET BACK TOGETHER WITH AN EX GIRLFRIEND/BOYFRIEND. All of the literature online suggests it is by following a set program of NC etc etc but what do the real people think?> Im trying to work out whether im holding false hope for a reconcilliation or not...when its over, is it really over?> I know its all dependant of circumstances but all thoughts are welcome
broken-and-lost Posted September 1, 2011 Posted September 1, 2011 for me i thought i could get a second change but really it's just false hope if the person cared enough about you they would be banning at your door it's just you that thinks you have a chance to change things but thats just my view after my exp 8 months after my breakup still hold onto a hope which only causes me pain
ScienceGal Posted September 1, 2011 Posted September 1, 2011 Know this: if you get back with your partner right now, it will fail just as it did the first time. Why? Because neither of you have had enough time to escape the emotions surrounding the relationship and until that happens, neither of you can fully reflect and understand not only what went wrong, but how it can be fixed (if at all). The best thing that you can do is move on (sucks!!! I know). But you have to. You have to be good to yourself and find happiness separate from your ex. Have faith in that you might get a chance in the future, but do not let that consume all of your thoughts and rob you of all of your lifes hope. I have never gotten back together with an ex. Several have wanted to, but by that time I had no interest in them anymore. This could happen to you to. Be brave. Keep moving forward.
Author beefolive Posted September 1, 2011 Author Posted September 1, 2011 Even if the things that caused us to split were my fault. Little things that we didnt resolve which came to a head and caused us to split. I realise things were my fault, i want to make them right, grow as a person and mature. Its a cliche but i know how different things would be this time around, i just need to show her how much i care for her.
ScienceGal Posted September 1, 2011 Posted September 1, 2011 Even if the things that caused us to split were my fault. Little things that we didnt resolve which came to a head and caused us to split. I realise things were my fault, i want to make them right, grow as a person and mature. Its a cliche but i know how different things would be this time around, i just need to show her how much i care for her. Can you truly say it was 100% your fault? What did she do wrong? Can those things truly be fixed (are you just saying you'll change because you miss her)?
silly_panda Posted September 1, 2011 Posted September 1, 2011 Hey beefolive... I guess what everyone is saying here is to focus on yourself... And you said you already got a list of things that you gonna improve already rite..? Focus on that... After your improvement and change, and she is happy with what she see in you and at the same time you still have feelings for her, then you will be together... Don't have to worry about that yet... Just focus on improving yourself... If it's meant to be, then it will be... Hang in there...
broken-and-lost Posted September 1, 2011 Posted September 1, 2011 We all know how you feel matey, we really do if i had a second chance i know full well things would be different it would be impossible not to be different because you can't go through so much pain and not change as an individual but the sad fact is you have to change for yourself and just see what happens with your life i'm in my mid thirties only really ever loved this one girl truly but i've lost her a lot of it was my fault and i've worked on that but it's probably too late it's been 8 months or so and i still want that second chance deep down but you can't pin all your hopes on it otherwise it destroys you has been with me
wolf1one Posted September 2, 2011 Posted September 2, 2011 We all know how you feel matey, we really do if i had a second chance i know full well things would be different it would be impossible not to be different because you can't go through so much pain and not change as an individual but the sad fact is you have to change for yourself and just see what happens with your life i'm in my mid thirties only really ever loved this one girl truly but i've lost her a lot of it was my fault and i've worked on that but it's probably too late it's been 8 months or so and i still want that second chance deep down but you can't pin all your hopes on it otherwise it destroys you has been with me Hey man, if you truly have changed, then there is definitely a second chance for us all. Everyone here seems to be broken and everyone is very helpful in telling us not to mourn, and to move on and not think of second chances. BUT they do happen. 8 months is nothing ... and if you truly are the stronger person you say you are ... then it's not so bad to give it a go and NOT put all your hopes and dreams into it. At least you will know for sure that if things don't work out the next time, "the one who got away" is really just the one you had to let go. I've had experience with this at least two time in my life.
broken-and-lost Posted September 2, 2011 Posted September 2, 2011 Hey man, if you truly have changed, then there is definitely a second chance for us all. Everyone here seems to be broken and everyone is very helpful in telling us not to mourn, and to move on and not think of second chances. BUT they do happen. 8 months is nothing ... and if you truly are the stronger person you say you are ... then it's not so bad to give it a go and NOT put all your hopes and dreams into it. At least you will know for sure that if things don't work out the next time, "the one who got away" is really just the one you had to let go. I've had experience with this at least two time in my life. Thank for the advice man, unfortunately it's out of my hands now she knows how i feel about her and the things i've done and been doing. I can only make the changes for myself if she wanted me back or wants me back she knows where i am unfortunately i do think i'll ever see her again. I just hope life gives me another chance if one day i'm healed enough to let her go and release the pain. But i really hope you are right and i have a similar experience.
betterdeal Posted September 2, 2011 Posted September 2, 2011 Sure you can. You can get a second chance at love with someone. Might not be the same person as last time, but you can get a second chance. Do the hard work and start rebuilding yourself so that you have a better chance of a second chance. Take your time, go at your own pace, learn from the past, live in the present and look forward to the future.
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