jordjones Posted September 1, 2011 Posted September 1, 2011 Overview of Topic A partner losing interest is one of the worst kinds of breakups for the dumpee, particularly if he/she is still in love. While there are usually signs that could have alerted the dumpee to the pending relationship doom, oftentimes the dumpee is blinded by a combination of mixed signals from the dumper and their own love, and as a result caught completely off guard by the dumping. Further exacerbating the situation for the dumpee, the dumper has generally been checking out of the relationship for a while, and therefore has a huge head start in the healing process. In perhaps the most painful cases, the dumper may already have other options available and will soon rebound. My Situation My ex told me that she "didn't feel the same way anymore..." on July 3rd. We had been in a LDR for 8 months after living in the same area and dating for 4 months before I moved. She later told me that "she loved me, but had lost passion for me..." While she never said, "I love you but, not in love with you..." I consider her statements to be in the family of lost interest. I have been in NC for 36 days, and during this time moved back to her area to apply to law school. I've been improving myself by working out and studying, but my God do I miss her. Interestingly, she is still single and in my case, at least, it hasn't seem like there is another guy in the picture, at least not yet. Do They Ever Come Back I know I should move on, and I have dated other women in the past month. But I feel that I am clinging to hope that her feelings may be reignited; that the distance was the ultimate factor for her feelings waning. However, from these forums, it seems that it is extremely rare for a woman who has lost interest to ever come back. While more common for men, once a person checks out, it seems that it's usually over. Given that distance was such a factor in my situation (a factor no more), do I have a chance? Please post any stories you may have about attempts to reconnect with the ex that lost interest. Thank you!
smudge21 Posted September 1, 2011 Posted September 1, 2011 It's a tough one as often when a person admits that, they're being honest and open with their feelings, out of respect, love, loyalty and just because they're a good person. They know the words will hurt, but they can't live a lie and want to be honest. I left my previous ex the same way - the love had gone for me. I tried to find it but couldn't, so I had to be honest with her. Yeah, it hurt her, a lot. Made me feel bad, but a year down the line we are now friends - distant friends, but friends. The sad thing for you to hear though is that I never was tempted to go back. I'd been honest and told her the truth that I didn't love her, and that was that. I think when it ends that way, because it's open and honest, it's always more sincere and therefore permanent - there's been closure. Yet when a person cheats, gets GIGS, there's anger or they just leave, it's like there's been no closure or openess, so there's often still feelings there and the door is still open, so you hear about people coming back. That's just my opinion so don't base your whole outlook on this on what I say. I do believe that you could have a friendship with her, but anything more could be difficult.
silly_panda Posted September 1, 2011 Posted September 1, 2011 Erm... Kinda similar to my situation now... We are having LDR too... Broke up a 3weeks ago... Just that I think everything started when I took her for granted and didn't give her enough attention (I totally regret this and I did not do it intentionally... I was too busy focusing in my career and wanted to give her a great life in the future)... She said she can't feel me anymore... She can't feel that if I love her or not... And mine, she is already in a new relationship... She met this guy 3days before we break up and 3days after that they got together... I guess in my case is that she was still holding on to me until she finds someone else and when she does... Out the door I go... I don't know in her case is a rebound or what but they seem to be going really fast... I hope that she will come back but I think that is very unlikely... Well... When she comes back you will know... No point worrying about that... It's all up to her rite..? Hang in there man...
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