DollWelch Posted September 1, 2011 Posted September 1, 2011 Perhaps someone can explain this one to me, because I can't seem to think of a legitimate excuse as to why a man would disappear in the midst of a texting conversation. About a week ago, I decided to invite a male friend of mine (who's been romantically interested in me for quite a long time) to a retreat via text. Texting back and forth ensued, even though it was quite slow on his end, and it became apparent that he was considering going on this retreat as well but was hesitant/unsure because he has work (for the first portion of the retreat). I was understanding of course. I didn't want to make it appear as though I was coming on too strong, not that it is a must for him to attend. Half way through the conversation though, he noted that since I'll be going then it made the retreat more appealing and that he initially wanted to try to get out of work for it. After that, I sent him a text in response and haven't a word from him in a week. I personally don't mind either way (if he shows up or not), but it'd be nice to know why the abrupt exit from the conversation. Does this mean he's avoiding me? Did I say something wrong? I find it quite disrespectful to leave a person hanging via text. The least he could've done was say he can't talk about this in the moment and get back to me later. Thoughts?
somedude81 Posted September 1, 2011 Posted September 1, 2011 And you haven't tried to contact him in that week? If not, then it's not really on him. Disrespectful is having some one stop replying in the middle of a conversation and having fallow up messages ignored.
Author DollWelch Posted September 1, 2011 Author Posted September 1, 2011 And you haven't tried to contact him in that week? If not, then it's not really on him. Disrespectful is having some one stop replying in the middle of a conversation and having fallow up messages ignored. It is on him. I expected a response from him telling me his thoughts on the retreat and whether or not he'll be coming. I got neither. The ball is still in his court. I'm not one to chase men down or constantly blow up their cell phones. If he wants to tell me something, he has my number. I don't see why *I* have to send him a text telling him 'Please are you gonna come or not?'. No! I'm not that kind of person. You're damned if you do and damned if you don't. I don't get men.
Emilia Posted September 1, 2011 Posted September 1, 2011 If you had a 5 minute conversation with him on the phone instead you would have saved yourself all this trouble. He probably isn't really interested in retreats, most men aren't
Cee Posted September 1, 2011 Posted September 1, 2011 I prefer not to do complicated planning via text. I think it would have been smarter to call him and talk. Also, you could have sent him the details about the retreat via email. If it cost money and work time, he probably needed more info to get excited about it. If this was a Landmark Forum thing, his radio silence might have been discomfort. I have had multiple people try to recruit me into those workshops and I politely thank them and step away. Landmark is too expensive and too "rah rah" for my taste, although my mom attended a workshop once. So I won't dismiss it entirely.
Eddie Edirol Posted September 1, 2011 Posted September 1, 2011 Thats your ego thats hurt thinking its disrespectful, but its just text, so it isnt. He isnt that interested in going with you, and you should have assumed that the first time he was hesitant about it. The only answer you should have accepted was "yes". Anything else is a no, which would give you time to find someone else to go with, instead of hanging on his words. Plus he probably thinks that you want him to go with you just to tease him, if he wanted to date you, and you havent hooked up before. If you havent, a kiss on a date would have gotten a definite answer.
zengirl Posted September 1, 2011 Posted September 1, 2011 What was the last message you sent? Sometimes people don't realize the conversation is still ongoing. At any rate. . . hard to tell what the issue is from just this small info. Have you guys actually been on a date?
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