missm1975 Posted September 1, 2011 Posted September 1, 2011 I am a single parent who never really experienced true love. I loved my ex-husband, but I was not in-love with him. I have been mostly single for 5 years, before now I wasn't really ready to settle down. I have recently met someone (who has children but don't live with him) with whom there is a genuine connection. We met online through a dating site and spoke on the phone for hours before we even met. I just knew that immediately he was genuine, that he was legit. Conversation came very easily and we share a lot of the same interests and values. I was very excited as I thought that I finally met "the one" (possibly). When we did meet, it was like I had known him forever. We were very comfortable together. I was thrilled! It was as if the universe has presented to me everything that I had wished for in a human being! I did not have to pursue him, he pursued me. He has a very demanding job which takes him away from home on a regular basis, in his company there are only a few that do his role and someone has resigned, leaving the workload on to him and the others. For the next six months he is barely going to be at home and he may possibly have to move 8 hours away from me. He said that he doesn't want to keep me waiting around, that he doesn't want me to put my life on "hold" for him because I literally will probably never see him until March next year. He does the job he does so that he can provide for his children, so that they can have a good life. I would never ask him to stop doing that at all. I was gutted when I heard this, so was he. Talk about bad timing! If only he was told of this before I met him! The universe, which seemed to provide for me had suddenly pulled the rug out from beneath me. I genuinely do care for him and like him very much and would rather be his friends than nothing at all. My question is do I tell him how I really feel, that I would wait for him, that I don't care so much that we can't see each other much, that knowing that he is there is enough at the moment, that I will wait until we can be together. Do I tell him that I have very strong feelings for him? Do I tell him that he is constantly on my mind, from the moment I wake up in the morning until I go to sleep at night? How can I tell him this? Do I write it in a letter? Do I risk telling him and risk our friendship? Please, any advice would be very much appreciated. He suggested that we stop all contact, that it would be easier that way, however I disagreed. We remain Facebook friends, he has been calling me and has even told me that he misses me. It is killing me feeling this way, the very strong feelings I do have for him knowing that we can't physically be together.
Yookie Posted September 1, 2011 Posted September 1, 2011 For whatever reason this man is unwilling to make a long distance relationship work with you if he really has to move. This whole "my job is keeping me too busy to date you" scenario is highly suspect but even if he's telling the truth, you need to accept the fact that he is not as into you as you are wiith him. He will likely be moving on and dating others which is why he wants you to do the same. Take his advice and cut contact so that you can get over him. He doesn't want a relationship with you.
Recommended Posts