russian2 Posted September 1, 2011 Posted September 1, 2011 me 21M and her 21 F. broke up with my ex 4 months ago because I found out she cheated on me. We have kept in very little contact since then because I still have feelings for her and I know this is not a good idea. She has invited me to hang out with her a few times to the movies and other things. The past 2 weekends she has invited me to go hang out at her apartment after work and drink/movies/play video games with her. So we get drunk and have a great time and when it was time for sleep we both get in to her bed and I kind of spoon her both times. We did not have sex or even kiss but she was hugging me a little more intimately than "just friends". After the first drunken hang out I did not text her for a week and she texts me all sad and wondering why I always disappear *in terms of texting* for days after I text her. She is still dating the guy she cheated on me with she has ever spoken about him openly but I know she still sees him So... What the hell is going on here? I am not interested in a relationship with her anymore because the trust I had will never be there, but I am not opposed to a friends with benefits situation, however I think that if she wanted that, it would have happened on our past two sleep overs.. I am confused more than anything.
smudge21 Posted September 1, 2011 Posted September 1, 2011 You've become a close friend - she doesn't feel that way for you, but still has feelings (maybe) and wants to keep you close in case things don't work out with the new guy. Everytime you see her or make contact you're allowing her to continue with her happy carefree life whilst at the same time hurting yourself emotionally. The longer it continues, the less likely you'll ever have of being anything more to her as she will lose all respect for you. You have two choices, carry on or end it. She cheated and doesn't deserve your attention anymore. If you really love her and want more, then you need to be honest with her and make it clear.
Author russian2 Posted September 1, 2011 Author Posted September 1, 2011 close friends sleep in bed together and spoon? I have never heard of that lol.
smudge21 Posted September 1, 2011 Posted September 1, 2011 Well you could call it friends with benefits, but that's usually when both parties agree to the situation and know what's going on, and are happy. You're not like that. Same said, you're not really in a relationship with her either, so I guess the best is close friends who were former lovers, so it's okay for you two to 'spoon' amongst other things. Either way, the important thing is are you happy and if not, then do something about it.
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