Taylorlove Posted September 1, 2011 Posted September 1, 2011 Hello all, I just joined this site because I am in need of help. I am in my senior year of college and met the most wonderful southern gentleman my sophomore year here at the university. We have been together for 2 years. It has never been an on/off relationship. We have never broken up. In fact, this relationship has been very drama free and easy. We are very serious and are talking marriage after I graduate. Before the issue arises, I am hoping you all will respond with respectful answers, and i'm hoping there is someone out there who understands where I am coming from. I miss dating. I miss flirting. And I miss kissing. I'm 21 years old. I feel too young to settle down, but i'm with a man I could never let go. He is so gentle, kind, wants to take care of me. Very faithful and religious. Who could ask for more? It's like i'm stuck-I want to date a little more before settling down but I'm with the person I want to settle down with. They came in the wrong order! Sometimes I wonder why I had to meet him so early? Why couldn't we have met at 25? My mother always tells me that I will feel this way my whole life. You will always be attracted to the opposite sex, and I completely agree. But do I do something about it or keep everything the way it is? How could I possibly tell him I want to date other people, but he's the person I want to come back to? I see that as very selfish, and i'm not the selfish type. Has anyone else had this issue?
Saul Goodman Posted September 1, 2011 Posted September 1, 2011 (edited) I think that you need to get it all out of your system before you settle down with somebody (if ever). Some people are fine with settling down at a younger age (I didn't have to deal with any of these complications, personally), and some people aren't. IMO by staying with him and letting things become more serious, you are just setting yourself up for a bigger fall later on in life (Think about your 30s and 40s. And yes, I am sugggesting that you are "future affair material". No offense meant.). It's unfair for you because you want the freedom to date others, and it's unfair for him because he is presumably more "into" the relationship than you are. Maybe you could arrange an open relationship with him? Although, considering your motives for doing so, I'm skeptical that an OR is for you at this particular time. If not than you will probably need to break up with him. Wish you well. Edited September 1, 2011 by Saul Goodman
magnus mateo Posted September 1, 2011 Posted September 1, 2011 If you settle down now, you will always wonder and maybe act on it later. If you decide to date other people, you risk losing what you have. The grass is not always greener. What people find out is, it is not real grass. It is the stuff they use in Easter baskets. You have to be honest with your boyfriend and let him know how you feel. You do not want to keep secrets. It might hurt him, but at the end of the day, it is better you communicate with him. That way, the two of you can decide together. If he found out you were in an inappropriate situation or inappropriate relationship with someone else, it would hurt him even more. Do what is right for you and the relationship. You first. You do not want to have any regrets. Hope this helps. Good luck!
Author Taylorlove Posted September 1, 2011 Author Posted September 1, 2011 If you settle down now, you will always wonder and maybe act on it later. If you decide to date other people, you risk losing what you have. The grass is not always greener. What people find out is, it is not real grass. It is the stuff they use in Easter baskets. You have to be honest with your boyfriend and let him know how you feel. You do not want to keep secrets. It might hurt him, but at the end of the day, it is better you communicate with him. That way, the two of you can decide together. If he found out you were in an inappropriate situation or inappropriate relationship with someone else, it would hurt him even more. Do what is right for you and the relationship. You first. You do not want to have any regrets. Hope this helps. Good luck! Very inspirational. Thank you for the humor and the good advice. It is much needed!
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