Rayne03 Posted September 1, 2011 Posted September 1, 2011 Is it possible for men at all to remain JUST friends with a girl? Close, best friends?
Mark1 Posted September 1, 2011 Posted September 1, 2011 One of my best friends is a female. Very pretty. Never gone past friends.
Author Rayne03 Posted September 3, 2011 Author Posted September 3, 2011 I ask because someone close to me tends to befriend males and often it ends on a bad note because these guys end up wanting a relationship with her. A couple of them even became obsessed with her, the others I felt bad for because I knew it was a one way street.
OnyxSnowfall Posted September 3, 2011 Posted September 3, 2011 I ask because someone close to me tends to befriend males and often it ends on a bad note because these guys end up wanting a relationship with her. A couple of them even became obsessed with her, the others I felt bad for because I knew it was a one way street. As a female, that's been my experience with male "close friends"... According to some people, it's entirely possible for a female and a male to have nothing more than a close friendship together... But who knows whether having a purely, mutually, platonic and close relationship with a member of the opposite gender is common or not. One wherein, neither member sexually covets the other but can also be close, appreciate, respect and or care for one another. It certainly hasn't been true in my experiences... even with "friends" whom I'm not/nor wasn't very close to. Guys always end up wanting more (when I was younger, I naively thought that married men were "safe" to converse with/interact with, but I quickly discovered that such a thing can be irrelevant too).
You'reasian Posted September 3, 2011 Posted September 3, 2011 Its possible. The reason why there's the "friend-zone"
irc333 Posted September 3, 2011 Posted September 3, 2011 I ask because someone close to me tends to befriend males and often it ends on a bad note because these guys end up wanting a relationship with her. A couple of them even became obsessed with her, the others I felt bad for because I knew it was a one way street. Yeah, I have a female friend, I don't know what her deal is, but she's a part of a large circle of friends, she's single, and probably EVERY guy that's "hung out" with her, thought it was a date, and when they tried to make a move on her, she'd reject them. Must've had like 5 or 6 guys try to ask her out or be her boyfriend. Some would even get a little too "close" at parties and social gatherings, making her tell them to back the heck off, because people will think they're "Together" Yeah, some of these ended not so nicely and with bitter feelings, others got over it. But, it's amazing how every single guy "friend" wanted to date her. One guy actually asked a woman to carpool with him to a camping trip, tried to make a move and asked they become a couple, and even told people they dated at one time. LOL She was like "Huh? We carpooled together, that's it!"
phineas Posted September 3, 2011 Posted September 3, 2011 I ask because someone close to me tends to befriend males and often it ends on a bad note because these guys end up wanting a relationship with her. A couple of them even became obsessed with her, the others I felt bad for because I knew it was a one way street. Are you sure she isn't leading them on? I've never had a woman who wants to be just friends not turn into a possessive attention whore that tells me she wants me but "needs to take it slow" because she is afraid of getting hurt or some other crap. Essentially they just do what they have to to keep me paying attention to them & not other women while avoiding any thing intimate with me. Feels like my last yr of marriage. So the surprise on their face when I let them know it aint happening is priceless. I personally am ok with being just friends with a woman regardless of how hot she is because I know she isn't interested & I don't waste my time chasing women who arn't interested. Instead I put them to work helping me pick out clothes & have them pull wing-woman duty.
goldenboy7115 Posted September 4, 2011 Posted September 4, 2011 Of course you can! I have had many female friends in the past. Just friends. And then there are friends with benefits, but that's a whole different kind of friend. Guess it depends on which category are you seeking and, is she?
ThsAmericanLife Posted September 4, 2011 Posted September 4, 2011 I have a number of very good male friends. Some are married. One is an ex-boyfriend. I even helped him pick out his OkC cupid picture gave him an 'award' for 'friends in real life'. I work around all men (have all of my life), so maybe this is why it is easier for me. Yes, a few of the single ones got the wrong idea or tried to make a move at one time or another. I view that as a bit of social programming on their part. I never was snuggly or affectionate with them at any level, so I certainly wasn't leading them on. Being nice, supportive, and a genuine friend can lead some men to develop romantic feelings... and I suppose, those would be the kind of guys I'd want as a BF under different circumstance. Usually, these were men I either worked with, or were much older or younger than me and so not men I felt comfortable having a relationship with. They usually got over it, and we are still friends...
robertdawson Posted September 4, 2011 Posted September 4, 2011 If a woman is attractive, and not married or dating someone else then it is highly unlikely for a guy to just want to be friends. If a woman is married or dating someone it is very possible. irc333: that girl you know sounds like she is leading guys on. Not cool.
bluenightowl Posted September 4, 2011 Posted September 4, 2011 If a woman is attractive, and not married or dating someone else then it is highly unlikely for a guy to just want to be friends. Yes and no. Some of my best females friends I wanted to date at one time, but then it turned into friendship, and we became incredibly close and I would never cross that line. I know people say never to become friends with people who like or did like, but I can only say for me they have become some of the most caring and loving people in my life, as the girlfriends came and went.
ThsAmericanLife Posted September 4, 2011 Posted September 4, 2011 If a woman is attractive, and not married or dating someone else then it is highly unlikely for a guy to just want to be friends. If a woman is married or dating someone it is very possible. irc333: that girl you know sounds like she is leading guys on. Not cool. What do you think she did to lead guys on? I don't see how she has at all. If he perceives sharing a car as a 'date', then it is his problem. I have lunch routinely and even dinner occasionally with my male colleagues if the situation calls for it. We only talk about professional matters. I refuse to act any differently than my male colleagues would in the same situation just because I'm female. Work is work. FYI... I've never dated a man I've worked with either... Everyone knows that.
ThsAmericanLife Posted September 4, 2011 Posted September 4, 2011 Yes and no. Some of my best females friends I wanted to date at one time, but then it turned into friendship, and we became incredibly close and I would never cross that line. I know people say never to become friends with people who like or did like, but I can only say for me they have become some of the most caring and loving people in my life, as the girlfriends came and went. That is what I like about having male friends too. I get a male perspective and I don't have to worry about them disappearing whenever I meet someone I'd like to date. For the other posters... If someone of the opposite sex says they want to be friends with me, I take them at face value. If a work colleague asked me out to lunch or to dinner, I would not assume it were a 'date' if we had planned to discuss legitimate business. If they have some other agenda, then that would be lying... and it is NOT up to me to manage their emotions for them. That is their job.
bluenightowl Posted September 4, 2011 Posted September 4, 2011 If someone of the opposite sex says they want to be friends with me, I take them at face value. I agree except if I had once dated them. Sadly you often hear the white lie of lets be friends, but they don't really mean it always, although some of Ex's are also my friends.
LittleTiger Posted September 4, 2011 Posted September 4, 2011 Is it possible for men at all to remain JUST friends with a girl? Close, best friends? Of course it is! People are people first and foremost, regardless of gender, and we all have the ability to 'behave ourselves' if we choose to. I have male friends who are JUST friends and, if they're attracted to me (or I am to them) it's acknowledged and put to one side. To exclude an entire gender from the pool of possible 'friends' in this world seems a little short-sighted to me!
oaks Posted September 4, 2011 Posted September 4, 2011 Is it possible for men at all to remain JUST friends with a girl? Close, best friends? Absolutely, although if you have to ask then maybe not.
rafallus Posted September 4, 2011 Posted September 4, 2011 I ask because someone close to me tends to befriend males and often it ends on a bad note because these guys end up wanting a relationship with her. A couple of them even became obsessed with her, the others I felt bad for because I knew it was a one way street. If it's in munbers, she probably keeps them around for attention and ego boosting. Of hers, that is.
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