theLWord Posted September 1, 2011 Posted September 1, 2011 Here's my story in a nutshell: I'm 24 years old and a lesbian (thought I don't think that matters.) I dated a girl for 9 months. We lived two hours apart and the distance was causing problems, so I after I graduated college, we got an apartment together where she lived. I had to get a crappy job so financial issues were there, etc. She got a really good job and was traveling out of state a lot right after I had moved up there. I became kind of mad because I just moved to combat distance and didn't have much of anything, and no support system. After one trip, we had a big fallout. She said everything in the apartment was mostly hers and I needed to leave. I said she needed to leave and I would get a roommate. Horribly mean things were said ON BOTH PARTS. However, later we thought we could work it out, she said she ''maybe could forgive me.'' In my head, I thought, I couldn't stay there on a maybe. So I left. I wanted to get back with her but she never wanted to work it out. I have been devasted over this. My life has fallen apart. As soon as I had to move back in with my mom, shortly after, we found out she had cancer. I've been taking care of her. It made me hold such a grudge against my ex for not being there for me. Also about 2 1/2 weeks after I found out through a mutual friend that she had a new gf. To top it off, my ex had said she would sign me off of the lease that we signed together. A month and a half goes by, and I get a call from my old landlord. My ex didn't pay rent so I had to pay half of the rent when I didn't even live there. I ended up having to pay $1200 to break the lease that she agreed to sign me off of and didn't. So I had to break NC twice to discuss whether or not she was going to pay. The first time, it got ugly, the second, I was very civil. THE MAIN PROBLEM: The month I left, I didn't pay for half of the bills. I told her I would pay her back for it. I have to break no contact AGAIN and I'm not even close to where I want to be. I already e-mailed her once to try to avoid texting, so should I go that route? I need to get her address to mail her the check and I'm NOT going to put any notes in there, nothing, just the check. What exactly should I say in the e-mail? I know if I say, "I have the money I owe you, can I have your address to mail the check?" She will most likely say "I don't want your money, don't worry about it." Which would be great if I didn't have any pride, but I hate oweing anyone ANYTHING, and it bothers me everyday that I owe her this money. What should I say? I'm concerned this will set me way back. Thinking about it makes me nauseous. It's going on almost three months, I feel pathetic. Any help would be great, though.
Nohbody Posted September 1, 2011 Posted September 1, 2011 Well, it's not really breaking No Contact if you are repaying a debt. It's repaying a debt. Maybe looking at it like that will help. Just be short and to the point, do not invest any emotion into the message, and be prepared for a response that will be likewise bereft of feeling. Tough, but you can do it. Good for you, for paying her back.
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