amazingmandy Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 Check out my last post for the beginning of this story, it just continues to grow. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=293335 This is what he is saying now - "It's not like you've never touched another guy in your life." - "Cheating means doing something behind your back, at least I told you and you would be there." - "It would only mess things up for you." - "Well at least you know I would feel the same about you after, you're the one who would want to break up." - "We only live so long. Why would I want to die without doing everything I wanted to." - "You're not even trying to compromise." Anyways I have told him no. I am strongly against this. I can't make it any more obvious. It's like he is trying to make me feel selfish and guilty about not giving him what he wants. When what he wants would be the end of us. I need help as to how to deal with him. :/
sm1tten Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 I think you need a new boyfriend. I'm sorry, but if this is something that you've told him that you don't want to do and he continues to try to push you into it without consideration for your feelings, then you are not compatible. Every statement that you posted above is a different red flag.
FitChick Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 Tell him to pay two prostitutes -- it would be a business relationship and nothing more. Otherwise, tell him you'd like a threesome but only if another very attractive man was involved.
EasyHeart Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 Check out my last post for the beginning of this story, it just continues to grow. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=293335 This is what he is saying now - "It's not like you've never touched another guy in your life." - "Cheating means doing something behind your back, at least I told you and you would be there." - "It would only mess things up for you." - "Well at least you know I would feel the same about you after, you're the one who would want to break up." - "We only live so long. Why would I want to die without doing everything I wanted to." - "You're not even trying to compromise." Anyways I have told him no. I am strongly against this. I can't make it any more obvious. It's like he is trying to make me feel selfish and guilty about not giving him what he wants. When what he wants would be the end of us. I need help as to how to deal with him. :/The "You're not even trying to compromise" line made me alol. WTF??? He is trying to manipulate you. There is nothing selfish about not wanting to have a threesome. In any relationship, each person has a veto power when it comes to sexual activities. No one should ever do anything sexual that they are not comfortable with. Tell him "It's not going to happen. Ever. And we are done talking about it." If he persists after that, tell him "You may want a threesome, but you're about 30 seconds away from a "Nothing-some" for the rest of your life". And if all else fails, poison his breakfast cereal.
shayla Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 I'd tell him to enjoy his threesome and wish him well. And when it doesn't turn out like the porno movies and wants to come back, Id tell him to kick rocks.
FrustratedStandards Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 If he can't respect that you are NOT comfortable with doing it, then he doesn't respect YOU.
EasyHeart Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 Remember, too, that his dude not only wants a threesome -- he wants to do it with her best friend. ICK, ICK, ICK!!!
OnyxSnowfall Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 He sounds very childish and he is being terribly inconsiderate of you. Ideally, a couple's sexual values/beliefs are compatible. I can only suggest what I would do in your situation : politely inform him that I am completely uninterested in the idea and that his persistence has breached my boundaries enough as it is. And then I like what shayla stated. In other words, bye bye. Don't waste your life on someone who doesn't appreciate it and who can't even respect you. I doubt his desire is going to wane, as he doesn't even see how it's wrong to try to guilt you into doing it etc etc etc. Essentially, he isn't valuing what is truly at stake --- your relationship with him. He's valuing his own personal desires and his own "pleasure"... not yours, not even both of yours considered together.
FrustratedStandards Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 Basically he wants to have sex with your best friend and not get in trouble for it. Blegh! You do realize that eventually he will do it anyways right? If he is making you THIS uncomfortable just to get into your best friends pants, then he clearly doesn't care how you feel about it. He is just using a threesome as an excuse for you to be okay with it, and for your best friend not to tell you he cheated on you. Yuck! Red flag!
grkBoy Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 Check out my last post for the beginning of this story, it just continues to grow. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=293335 This is what he is saying now - "It's not like you've never touched another guy in your life." - "Cheating means doing something behind your back, at least I told you and you would be there." - "It would only mess things up for you." - "Well at least you know I would feel the same about you after, you're the one who would want to break up." - "We only live so long. Why would I want to die without doing everything I wanted to." - "You're not even trying to compromise." Anyways I have told him no. I am strongly against this. I can't make it any more obvious. It's like he is trying to make me feel selfish and guilty about not giving him what he wants. When what he wants would be the end of us. I need help as to how to deal with him. :/ Ask him how he would feel if he had to watch another man f**k you. Stand your ground, if he keeps making an issue, then tell him you two can break up and you can go look for a better man while he tries to seek out his threesome.
ThsAmericanLife Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 Check out my last post for the beginning of this story, it just continues to grow. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=293335 This is what he is saying now - "It's not like you've never touched another guy in your life." - "Cheating means doing something behind your back, at least I told you and you would be there." - "It would only mess things up for you." - "Well at least you know I would feel the same about you after, you're the one who would want to break up." - "We only live so long. Why would I want to die without doing everything I wanted to." - "You're not even trying to compromise." Anyways I have told him no. I am strongly against this. I can't make it any more obvious. It's like he is trying to make me feel selfish and guilty about not giving him what he wants. When what he wants would be the end of us. I need help as to how to deal with him. :/ dump him. ASAP. He doesn't give a sh*t about you.
EasyHeart Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 Ask him how he would feel if he had to watch another man f**k you.Mandy might want to be careful with that one. A guy like this might like it. . . .
Zaphod B Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 The others have said it all. It's obvious. He's an ******* and doesn't deserve you. He is not respecting you or your relationship. I bet there's no way he'd agree to a threesome with another man involved.
zengirl Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 The "You're not even trying to compromise" line made me alol. WTF??? He is trying to manipulate you. There is nothing selfish about not wanting to have a threesome. In any relationship, each person has a veto power when it comes to sexual activities. No one should ever do anything sexual that they are not comfortable with. Agreed, and that is a funny line. Look, this is ridiculous. I think it's perfectly fine to express a sexual desire, but not at all fine to pressure your partner, and this is a TOTALLY reasonable desire to decline. Especially since he picked your BF from middle school! Ridiculous.
EasyHeart Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 Agreed, and that is a funny line.But you still won't let me poison anyone's cereal, will you? Sigh!
Imageiko Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 seems like a compatibility issue and I agree that he'll probably look else ware for this eventually.
ThsAmericanLife Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 it just occurred to me that maybe he just wants you to break up with him (some guys are chicken that way) so he CAN go hit on your friend... Here's another thought... Ignore it. You've already said no. If he brings it up again, tell him "you heard what I said"... then change the subject or walk out of the room. He sounds like a little kid at the candy store. He'll keep asking as long as he gets attention. So don't give it to him. Change nothing about the rest of your relationship. Just ignore this request or future ones. He'll have two choices... cheat on you or dump YOU. In the meantime, you can prepare yourself emotionally to end this relationship when the time is right for you. Because ultimately, I do think this relationship is probably bound to end. He doesn't seem to be very respectful.
daphne Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 The "You're not even trying to compromise" line made me alol. WTF??? He is trying to manipulate you. There is nothing selfish about not wanting to have a threesome. In any relationship, each person has a veto power when it comes to sexual activities. No one should ever do anything sexual that they are not comfortable with. Tell him "It's not going to happen. Ever. And we are done talking about it." If he persists after that, tell him "You may want a threesome, but you're about 30 seconds away from a "Nothing-some" for the rest of your life". And if all else fails, poison his breakfast cereal. This is true. Although, I think easy has a fixation on poisoning today. My ex was highly manipulative and tried to talk me into it, with some of the same selfish stupid talk. At that time, I didn't immediately dump him but knew it was headed nowhere fast, since I had 0 intention of accommodating him. And when I tried to turn it around on him to have a threesome with one of his good looking model friends he agreed to, if it meant he could have a threesome with me and another woman. I wouldn't even bother with it anymore. You clearly have incompatible values (read, your bf does not have any) and this is not going to result in a marriage with kids and happiness without you compromising yourself.
FitChick Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 What does your girlfriend think of this? Does she even know? Would she grab him if you dumped him?
Blue Eyed Brain Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 seems like a compatibility issue and I agree that he'll probably look else ware for this eventually. EXACTLY! This happens. Eventually he will back down and seemingly seem disinterested in the threesome, but it will be in his head and one day he WILL act on it and cheat on you. It happens a lot. Stick to your morales and find someone who wants you for that and not to fill his fantasy. Find someone who wants to fill your and each others.
zengirl Posted September 1, 2011 Posted September 1, 2011 But you still won't let me poison anyone's cereal, will you? Sigh! I know, you never get to have any fun!
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