FrustratedStandards Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 Other than bad hygiene, any turn off particular to your tastes can be overlooked if the person is confident. For instance, if short hair on a female is unattractive, but she carries herself with this confidence and sex appeal, you will overlook it, right? Or if a short man is a turn off, but he carries himself and presents himself with this great confidence and smile, the shortness becomes secondary. Agreed? I just find that confidence can work wonders. I guess the same for the opposite applies, you have have a gorgeous sex kitten or drool-worthy man, but if they have no self-esteem and are very insecure, they become less attractive.
CarrieT Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 Nope - a confident smoker who is a drug-abusing, alcoholic who spits vitriolic profanity is still a deal-breaker for me.
Author FrustratedStandards Posted August 31, 2011 Author Posted August 31, 2011 Nope - a confident smoker who is a drug-abusing, alcoholic who spits vitriolic profanity is still a deal-breaker for me. lol I don't mean to such extremes! I guess I should have specified that I meant more physical traits.
SteveC80 Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 Its an overblown fluff cliche word in the dating world used to make average or ugly guys think they can bat out of their league Youre either attracted to somebody or youre not People who make confidence out to be a magic potion that makes everyone attracted to you is dellusional
Author FrustratedStandards Posted August 31, 2011 Author Posted August 31, 2011 Its an overblown fluff cliche word in the dating world used to make average or ugly guys think they can bat out of their league Youre either attracted to somebody or youre not People who make confidence out to be a magic potion that makes everyone attracted to you is dellusional Again, I'm not saying that an ugly person can become hot stuff because they are confident. I am saying that some turn offs can be OVERLOOKED if there is lots of confidence. The person has to be decent of course.
carhill Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 OP, IME, the dynamic merely becomes 'he's a confident person I don't find attractive'. Or, in the case of lost attraction, it's 'my feelings for you changed'. IMO, make changes in your life for you. Any ancillary benefit in the area of interpersonal relationships is 'icing on the cake'
OnyxSnowfall Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 Eh... I've never been able to look a man that I consider to be short. I've encountered a few nice, intelligent and confident ones, two with similar interests to me even... but I cannot seem to ever be sexually attracted to them/consider them as a romantic prospect. It's really the "one" physical trait I can't seem to overlook...
Cracker Jack Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 It depends on how strict the person is when it comes to their dealbreakers. Some women will accept a guy being short if he's great in other areas--plenty will not be able to overlook it for some reason; some men will accept a woman with short hair if she's good in other areas--plenty won't. So yeah, it's possible. It just comes down to the individual. Edit: Onyx, what is "short" to you? I'm just curious.
OnyxSnowfall Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 ( to look = get into ) ** also, any male under 5'8".
Author FrustratedStandards Posted August 31, 2011 Author Posted August 31, 2011 (edited) ( to look = get into ) ** also, any male under 5'8". Lucky you. I'm a gal of 5'10, and I've never dated a man taller than me because I can't find any that are also cute! *sigh* Correction: I have for four months, my first tall one! But he turned out to be a cheap lie. Ugh. Edited August 31, 2011 by FrustratedStandards
Cracker Jack Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 I just made it, then, since I'm 5'8". Whoooo..... Still a turn-off to plenty of women, tho. Oh, well. That's life.
sm1tten Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 Disagree. Like carhill said, you just become a confident person I'm still not interested in. And on the flip side, I can still find someone physically attractive even if they have an insecure personality. Neither of these "types" are going to get a date with me.
OnyxSnowfall Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 Lucky you. I'm a gal of 5'10, and I've never dated a man taller than me because I can't find any that are also cute! *sigh* Correction: I have for four months, my first tall one! But he turned out to be a cheap lie. Ugh. Aww. Sorry to hear if it's any consolation, IME, most men have turned out to be cheap lies (whether it was the 6'4" man I dated briefly or ones in the 5'8"-6ft range)
Nexus One Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 From what I know confidence goes a long long way. It is definitely a valuable asset for a man to portray when it comes to women.
Content Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 ( to look = get into ) ** also, any male under 5'8". how tall are you? and would u consider 5'7 and a half:p
OliveOyl Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 It's not really confidence, it's more whether there is a unique connection -- that is, if I really like him otherwise. For example, though I would say I prefer not to date short, bald, men... if I met a short bald man who lit my fire, then the turn-off is not an issue. I may still think "gee I wish he wasn't bald," but if I really liked him I'd still date him. So I guess I would say "many turn offs can be fixed if the girl/guy really likes the guy/girl" but that doesn't really help seekers in the dating process, does it?
carhill Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 From what I know confidence goes a long long way. It is definitely a valuable asset for a man to portray when it comes to women. I agree, if they're on the fence regarding attraction. IOW, it might get the guy who's marginal in that area a second date. Considering all the threads here turning into height related issues, perhaps I should start a 'bald guy' support thread ETA, see, 'short, bald guy'
SteveC80 Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 (edited) Im startign to feel sorry for guys under 5'10 who have such a limited dating pool.Some women have no other qualfiications physically except "not short" height is really a powerful drug to women:laugh: Edited August 31, 2011 by SteveC80
iris219 Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 Other than bad hygiene, any turn off particular to your tastes can be overlooked if the person is confident. For instance, if short hair on a female is unattractive, but she carries herself with this confidence and sex appeal, you will overlook it, right? Or if a short man is a turn off, but he carries himself and presents himself with this great confidence and smile, the shortness becomes secondary. Agreed? I just find that confidence can work wonders. I guess the same for the opposite applies, you have have a gorgeous sex kitten or drool-worthy man, but if they have no self-esteem and are very insecure, they become less attractive. No, not for me. I have a couple physical requirements that no amount of confidence or coolness can change. All I ask, physically, is that a guy not be short or fat. Those traits are non-negotiable. Why? Because I know the attraction will be lacking and that's not fair. I have preferences that personality can affect. I prefer dark hair but would have no qualms about dating a blond. I prefer hair, but dating someone bald or balding is no problem. I prefer full lips, but would date someone with thin lips if I liked them.
Author FrustratedStandards Posted August 31, 2011 Author Posted August 31, 2011 I think heigh is important because women want to feel safe and snug. If she is taller, not only does she have to stack away her high heels forever, but even the physical hug won't be as comforting if he was bigger than she is. It has a psychological affect. Being hugged by the same man has a bigger effect if he is taller.
OnyxSnowfall Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 how tall are you? and would u consider 5'7 and a half:p I'm only 5'3" I would "humor" an extremely persistent man of 5'7" 1/2 to possibly 5'6" 1/2... as I have in the past. The thing is (with the exception of one), they all either had "napoleon syndrome" and or their qualities were also not what I was looking for (and being confident didn't make me appreciate those qualities anymore than I already did[not]). It would really probably take some god-like/amazing inhuman being inside of their shortiness to get me to part my legs for them The other two, whom were nice, confident and intelligent (with similar interests to me) were actually 5'6" (well one was a little shorter) and... it just, didn't work for me. =/ it's like... "you're a wonderful person, but I have no desire to create electrifying pleasures between your body and mine".
Cracker Jack Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 I think heigh is important because women want to feel safe and snug. If she is taller, not only does she have to stack away her high heels forever, but even the physical hug won't be as comforting if he was bigger than she is. It has a psychological affect. Being hugged by the same man has a bigger effect if he is taller. True. But from what I've seen, height has that effect on women of all sizes. Even some of the women who are short (like 5'2") or so, still only feel safe in the arms of taller guys (5'10" and above) nowadays. So being taller than the woman isn't enough sometimes. Uphill battles ftw.
Author FrustratedStandards Posted August 31, 2011 Author Posted August 31, 2011 True. But from what I've seen, height has that effect on women of all sizes. Even some of the women who are short (like 5'2") or so, still only feel safe in the arms of taller guys (5'10" and above) nowadays. So being taller than the woman isn't enough sometimes. Uphill battles ftw. It's probably because tall men (not just taller but tall) have a sense of power and authority. Not gonna lie, power and toughness is attractive. Does the same apply to women? Does the same woman seem more powerful if she is 6 feet rather than her 5'4 counterpart?
Cracker Jack Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 I would think so. Since that's a good bit taller than me, I would automatically consider the 6ft version more powerful than her 5'4" counterpart. So, I see your overall point. Tall is associated with power, while short...well, isn't. I understand. I guess the only way to counter this (for us shorties) is to hope a woman can overlook it, because from my experiences, that's a big strike against you. Going after short women isn't a solution, unfortunately. That's why I think confidence, in this case, likely wouldn't be enough to change a thing...now that I'm actually taking the psychological factor into consideration. Damn it!!!! Now where dem special lifts for my shoes....
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