lyeex Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 I've known him a year, but this past week we've been seeing eachother a lot more. We started out as "sleeping buddies" in july 2010, although we never referred to eachother as that. I quickly fell in love with him, but only recently told him about my feelings a few months ago. It's been a long, hard year with this man. He has me so confused. We quit speaking for a month because I wanted a relationship, and he was making NO effort and was seeing other women. He came back to me, saying he likes spending time with me. This past week, he's really made an effort to get to know me better. We've spent lots of time just talking to eachother. He's introduced me to a very close friend of his, and his roommate (even put his arm around me while introducing me). He held my hand and put his arm around me in public, so i felt like things were progressing. But now, i'm not so sure. He tends to become distant after seeing me, and wont contact me for a few days. I'm also suspecting that he's not over his ex girlfriend from 4 months ago, even though they were only together for a short time. He's brought her up quite a few times in a negative way. I'm also thinking that he wants to keep his options open and be free to see other women as well. We've never discussed any of this, and i'm clueless as to where he sees this going, if anywhere. It's only been a little over a week since we've "rekindled" but i feel like he should be able to tell me what he thinks about this since we've known eachother so long. Should i bring it up to him, or should i take his distance as not wanting anything serious with me? Why would he want me to meet his friends if he doesnt want to be with me?
Llakdknek Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 My opinion is that you've been put on the back burner. Honestly, I don't think he's even sure what he wants to do, so I would proceed with caution. The thing is, if you "force" him into a decision, he might later resent that. It sucks, but unless he comes to you and says definitively that he wants a relationship, I'd be cautious. It's weird. I was in a similar situation, but with some of the roles reversed. It was complicated and not fun, so I feel your pain.
Shaun-Dro Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 I've known him a year, but this past week we've been seeing eachother a lot more. We started out as "sleeping buddies" in july 2010, although we never referred to eachother as that. I quickly fell in love with him, but only recently told him about my feelings a few months ago. It's been a long, hard year with this man. He has me so confused. We quit speaking for a month because I wanted a relationship, and he was making NO effort and was seeing other women. He came back to me, saying he likes spending time with me. This past week, he's really made an effort to get to know me better. We've spent lots of time just talking to eachother. He's introduced me to a very close friend of his, and his roommate (even put his arm around me while introducing me). He held my hand and put his arm around me in public, so i felt like things were progressing. But now, i'm not so sure. He tends to become distant after seeing me, and wont contact me for a few days. I'm also suspecting that he's not over his ex girlfriend from 4 months ago, even though they were only together for a short time. He's brought her up quite a few times in a negative way. I'm also thinking that he wants to keep his options open and be free to see other women as well. We've never discussed any of this, and i'm clueless as to where he sees this going, if anywhere. It's only been a little over a week since we've "rekindled" but i feel like he should be able to tell me what he thinks about this since we've known eachother so long. Should i bring it up to him, or should i take his distance as not wanting anything serious with me? Why would he want me to meet his friends if he doesnt want to be with me? He's sort of interested but not in the immediate sense. This guy is out and about getting laid by other women because perhaps they're easier. Then, when he thinks about the serious part of maybe having a relationship, he returns to you for a time period. He's unsure of where he wants to be. This guy's on the fence right now and I think you should let him go, if you're looking for something meaningful at this time, or you'll wound up another hurting statistic.
Pierre Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 The OP asked: What does this man want from me I think you want someone to tell you that he loves you just a bit after using you for sex. He probably does, but most likely loves you like he loves his car or golf clubs. He uses them and he enjoys using them. You have low self esteem and need to get out of that so-called relationship. We quit speaking for a month because I wanted a relationshipIt was painful for me (an uninterested reader) to read that. Women need to understand that when a some men want a women for sex it dos not mean he has any kind of feelings for her. BTW, sometimes men fake those feelings to get the sex.
Author lyeex Posted August 31, 2011 Author Posted August 31, 2011 Well he used to get sex from me even before he was making more of an effort. Thats why im confused. Why is he wanting to introduce me to people and taking me out in public if all he wants is sex? And we dont have sex everytime we see eachother either.
FitChick Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 You've just become a habit. Convenient for him to use until he finds someone he likes better, who isn't a pushover. Maybe he's boasting that he has a FWB. What a stud, huh?
depplover_1980 Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 Well he used to get sex from me even before he was making more of an effort. Thats why im confused. Why is he wanting to introduce me to people and taking me out in public if all he wants is sex? And we dont have sex everytime we see eachother either. Well he has introduced you to just a couple of people and it would probably have been more out of convenience. If he was into you he would be introducing you to everyone proudly as his girlfriend. As it has been more than a year, you will not progress any further with this man. What is your life stage at the moment? Where do you see yourself lovewise and what do you want?
somethingsimple Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 The point is he does not want a relationship with you. What he does want, is someone to have sex with, someone to hangout with, and someone to cuddle and be intimate with. I've had a FWB with before and I pretty much do all that with them for a variety of reasons. But I don't get in relationships with them, simply because I don't want to. Don't get it twisted though, the girls know what they're getting themselves into.
Recommended Posts