PositiveNegative Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 Hi all, I'm so thankful for this forum because I would like to tell my story and get it off my chest. GIG syndrome is happening to me... Almost word for word as described in the other thread. We have been dating for 1 and 1/2 years. We are both young (20 and 21) and both each others 2nd relationship. Last Thursday she decided to breakup with me for the typical GIG reasons (lack of experience, feeling of commitment, needing to know I'm the "one" by dating others), it hurt like a bitch. We've had an amazing relationship (of course nothing was perfect) but she's had these feelings since February. In our first week of the school year she decides to do this to me. Needless to say it's been a very inconvenient time for her to have done this but I don't blame her. Anyways, I tell her to sleep on it and see how she feels tomorrow. She agrees and we meet the next day. This is where things get confusing for me. The entire discussion revolves mainly around what we should do if we were to get back together and she does not ever say that we are "officially" broken up. Hell, we even start making each other laugh and smiling. At one point I called her beautiful, at another point she called me cute with that look of pure love in her eyes. She mentions how she "needs" me in her life even if we did break up. So the conversation was relatively easy going then she asks me if we could take a week to ourselves. A sort of mini-break with no contact. I agree because, well, I had no choice. So, most confusing of all, she wants to hang out at my place that night "as friends"! I cannot say no. Eventually I kiss her on the cheek and she starts crying, but she doesn't leave until later that night. I have two more days until I see her again. I don't know what to expect, really. Either the week nullified her feelings of wanting to break up or intensified them... Of course, I still want her. The worst part is we had already declared intentions of marrying each other one day (intentions, not engagement), which makes it exponentially worse. I find her perfect, at least in my terms of perfect. She has always been literally everything I could want in a woman. She says this break up is benefiting me as well, but I do not WANT to date other women. College girls are a dime a dozen and college guys will just want to use her for her body and looks. She is a very good looking girl and will undoubtely be asked out as soon as possible, but I have never been very good at dating girls and, as previously mentioned, would be too hung up on her to even think about dating. Every potential date would just be constantly compared to her. Since the moment I met her I've known that she is a needle in a haystack. Special to me in every single way. The thing is, I know she still loves me a lot, she would not have spent that night with me otherwise. So, I'm wondering, if we should get back together how can we save the relationship? Should I even take her back or make her experience life without me? I know this situation is in no way special and happens a lot. Advice and comments would be much appreciated. Thanks.
Nohbody Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 I would zip up your flame suit... lulz. Ten characters.
Dblock10 Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 well i hope for your sake she wants you. if not she would have experience she can be ok without you and wants to go her own path now. its rubbish, but it happens with young lovers allllll the time
Author PositiveNegative Posted August 31, 2011 Author Posted August 31, 2011 Well... I hope so too. And yeah that is the thing I most fear... that during this week she will think "Hey, I don't feel to bad about this!" and then it will really be over. It's just so sad because it's the start of a new year for us and I had so much planned. We don't live near each other back home so I didn't see her much all summer. The pain runs deep that we never really even got to get back here and have fun. I mean, looking through threads I realize that this does happen often... and that does help. It is sad that, for the best of me, I should lose contact with her completely. During that first night that she was breaking up with me I was begging for her to come back. During it she said "How do you know I won't be saying the same to you some day?". It was, quite frankly, the most unfair thing she has ever said. In her mind she really thinks that I will be a puppy waiting for her to come back to me, she thinks that because she knows how much I love her. It pains me to think of not seeing her again, but I know I will considering we go to the same school. Seeing her with another guy would just be unbearable...
Author PositiveNegative Posted September 4, 2011 Author Posted September 4, 2011 Hey Homebrew, You were right. It was over. It hurts alot but I'm doing a lot better than I thought I would. The thing that helped me the most was KNOWING that in no way was this break up a "special case" and that this does happen more often than not. I really wished I had known about GIGS before our breakup. We are both very young, inexperienced and despite our great relationship I do know that it would be unfair for me to keep her to myself especially with me graduating this year and her having 2 years left of college. She need experience, whether that is to grow by herself or with another man. For now I will enforce a strict no contact rule for myself and my own well-being, that being said, I don't plan to cut her out of my life entirely. Despite the attraction to each other, we were friends before we were together and someday, when I'm ready, I think we can be that again. To other people who are going through the same situation: This will happen for a reason. I've realized that the 20's are a time for the most intense hardships and trails, the kind that will define you as an adult. This feeling that she got is common. It's just unfortunate that it only happened to her and not to me...
visualbasicide Posted September 4, 2011 Posted September 4, 2011 The grass is always greener until you have to mow it....
Author PositiveNegative Posted September 4, 2011 Author Posted September 4, 2011 Yup. I know I treated her like gold. I know I'm a good guy and don't deserve this. Just trying to be strong right now.
allite Posted September 7, 2011 Posted September 7, 2011 well me and you are very much the same. i really love my ex and i really want her to be my only one. im afraid of what other college or other students might do to her or hurt her cause i know i will never hurt her. but she still wants the break up and it hurts. its only been 5 days and 1 day of NC stay strong. im here with you alsoo
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