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How to take a step back without looking like a jerk?


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Posted

Ive been dating someone for a short while, its nothing serious at the moment, but I realize Ive become too attached to her. I have had bouts of trust issues in the past, but on the whole, Im a pretty secure person.

 

Ive come on too strong already, and need to get my emotions/feelings in check a little better.

 

So, how can I go about this? Im going out more with friends, and keeping occupied, but how else can I keep my cool and not put unnecessary pressure on her? I know youll say be yourself, but hey, I know a demanding, insecure guy aint attractive and i havent been like that in the past.

Posted (edited)

Has she given any indication that you are being clingy or too full on?

 

i have been seeing a new guy for a couple of months and a few weeks ago he told me he really likes me but doesn't want to come on too strong but he would love to see me as much as possible. I liked that he was honest because if he had just backed off to stay cool i would have assumed he probably wasn't interested as much any more. So maybe just be honest with her.

 

But definitely some space can help too. I think it sounds like your doing the right thing by keeping busy with friends. The guy i am seeing has other interests and activities and that is attractive to me but he still makes time for me too. Good luck

Edited by purplehouse
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Posted

Shes backed off quite a bit. I know Ive been full on and should have let her make contact more. She cancelled a date the other day and I guess it got me worried, coupled with a drop in sex.

 

Ill stick with it a little longer, but shes been pretty rude recently if im honest, not sure if thats because Ive been too nice and shes testing me, or she just isnt into me.

Posted

Maybe ask her for feedback?

Posted
Maybe ask her for feedback?

 

duh ;)

 

if you can't talk about this stuff with her and she can't talk about this stuff with you then it's not going to work.

 

and the next one won't work, or the one after that or the one after that.

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