Confessions of a cheater.

[lilmiss]

I dont know if I need advice, or just somewhere to get this out. But Ive been having an emotional affair for the last 6 months and I dont know if I can continue the stress of deceit any longer.

I have a mostly ok relationship with my now partner of 10 years. We have 2 children, but for me there are many issues in the relationship. I love him, but he has never wanted to commit to marriage, he always seems to try and change things about me, and my confidence is often so low I feel like a door mat. But he is a great father, and an excellent provider and when things are good they are great. We have so many plans together, but I sometimes feel my dreams, and the things I want from life are ignored for him to pursue his dreams. Im not even sure the love is there anymore. He constantly tells me he loves me, but I think its because he knows Im so close to walking out.

 

6 months ago I reconnected with an ex boyfriend on facebook. (ahh the dreaded evils of social networking) I first met this guy when I was 16. He is 8 years older than me, and at the time we met he was married with children. We had an intense affair that lasted over 5 years before I had enough of being hurt and I walked away. Ive never loved anyone as deeply as this man. He knew me better than anyone ever has and has always accepted me flaws and all. Over the years, Ive often thought about this man. Ive always loved him and I suspect I always will. I know it sounds corny, but you hear people talking about the other half that makes you whole. Well Ive never felt that with anyone except him.

 

So I haven't seen him for 10 years and at first it was just catch up chats, and him apologising for hurting me, and things like that, but it soon developed into 3 hour long nightly chats, numerous phone calls a day and eventually meeting up for lunch, or coffee or a few drinks. And Im suddenly back to being 16, and madly in love again. Except this time we are both more mature, and apparently wiser and realistic about the fact that what we want out of life is sometimes not what will happen. Im scared of hurting my family, and i had been pretty open about the fact that I couldn't take things to the next level, nor had he pressured me to. Until last week, when I got caught up totally in the moment and initiated sex. I thought that the guilt would be engulfing, but it saddens me that I don't feel guilty about physically cheating at all. I feel much more guilty that emotionally I cant let go or walk away from this man, and whenever im at home with my partner, im only thinking of the other one.

 

I know I should leave, but im scared to have to raise my kids, one who has special needs, alone. Financially, emotionally, I need the support of my partner. Im scared to hurt him, to rip his world apart by taking his kids, and Im scared that I will be choosing my happiness at the expense of everybody elses. Although technically Ive already done that.

 

I just dont know what to do...

[jnj express]

You have a real winner there for a cheating partner---let's see a 24 yr. old messing around with a 16 yr old---lets see, if you had sex---that's ahhh yes--its called stat. rape---for starters

 

Then he cheats with you on a wife of his

 

Now he wants to take you away from your SO, and kid

 

 

He is just a real prize----lets see prize vermin, prize filth, prize scum

 

Do you honestly think your life is gonna improve by running off with the filth-------he does one thing exceptionally well, cheat, and probably commit rape----that's OK, with you---he's a great one to hitch your wagon to

 

You probably have problems with your SO, cuz you are looking to demonize him, so you can justify your A.

 

Do you think filth, is gonna provide for you like your SO, has---is he gonna take care of things, and deal with problems, and take care of your child----HE COULDN'T EVEN DO IT WITH HIS OWN FAMILY, how is he gonna do it with you

 

Wake up, before you destoy your life----it doesn't matter which way you go---just don't go there with filth!!!!!

[lilmiss]

Geeze, judgemental much? Firstly, he is my partner, not my husband. He has never wanting to commit to marrying me, which kind of suggests he doesnt love me as much as one "deserves". To say I dont love him is stupid. I wouldnt have spent 10 years of my life being the dutiful partner if I didnt. I wouldnt have spent 10 years behind him, helping him achieve his dreams and goals while mine were pushed aside. Its just gotten to the point where the love I feel for him isnt enough. Im sick of pretending to be the person he wants me to be instead of the person I am. My kids are also young, so I wont be bringing them into adult relationships they do not understand.

 

He didnt know I was 16 when we met. At 16 I lived with a group of older friends, we actually met at a club where he would of assumed my age to be much older and age wasnt a massive gap between us. Where I live, 16 is a legal age of consent, so no rules were broken. He married young, straight from school and had his first child at 18. Im the only other person he has ever slept with. When I was younger, he helped me deal with a traumatic rape and stood by me through a serious drug addiction. It was me who insisted he didnt leave his wife and children. I didnt want the responsibility back then. I chose to walk away because the hurt it was causing was unbearable. So do I think he would "take care of me and deal with my problems"? Yes I think he would. He has proven over and over that he is there for me when I need him. And he has provided well for his family, maybe not emotionally with his wife, but thats also her cross to bear. Im not the cause of the problems in their marriage, they were unhappy long before I came into the picture.

 

Im not trying to demonize my OH at all. Things arent great, havent been great for a long time, and I have tried my hardest to work on it. Its just gotten to the point where I am constantly walking on eggshells and find it difficult to live in my own home. Maybe this relationship is me looking for a way out? regardless, im not brave enough to leave and I dont want to rip my OHs world apart by taking his kids.

 

Thank you all for your replies. Believe me its nothing I havent thought of myself. At the end of the day, sometimes your heart and your head lead you in different directions.

[stillafool]

I

I know I should leave, but im scared to have to raise my kids, one who has special needs, alone. Financially, emotionally, I need the support of my partner. Im scared to hurt him, to rip his world apart by taking his kids, and Im scared that I will be choosing my happiness at the expense of everybody elses. Although technically Ive already done that.

 

I just dont know what to do...

 

What do you mean you don't know what to do? You are not a married woman, move out, get a job and go to work! Your partner will have to pay child support. If your other man is so in love with you, won't he help you out? You are already ripping your partner apart by sleeping around with this other man. Let your partner go so he can find a woman who will appreciate his love and the man he is.

[lilmiss]

No where have I said I would be leaving my current partner to be with the OM. Id be leaving my partner not because I am a cheating slut, but because I am truly unhappy. Im not naive enough to think the OM is the key to my happiness. My most important priority would be being happy with myself. Only then would I move on to another relationship. I also have a job.

[StoneCold]

lilmss....

 

I guess you dont need me to tell you that you are caught between a rock and a hard place. You seem to have the OM in the right place in that you dont expect him (or being with him) to solve your issues at home so this is a good thing.

 

Sorry but I honestly dont know what to tell you....I have never experienced a situation quite like yours so I wouldnt really know what to tell you....Clearly you want out of this relationship and if thats how you feel then its probably for the best. However, given your situation I realize it is very hard to just pack up and leave as many here like to suggest (especially given that your child is special needs). Becareful with some of the advice you get here because many in these parts will forego logic and a balanced approach/thought process just so that they can continue to push their anti infidelity mandate.

 

Interestingly enough apparently couples with special needs children have a much higher divorce rate (if it wasnt high enough as it is). So its likely that one way or the other you will be out of this relationship....

 

Heres an article for you

 

http://special-needs.families.com/blog/divorce-rate-higher-among-couples-with-special-needs-children

[bentnotbroken]

Geeze, judgemental much? Firstly, he is my partner, not my husband. He has never wanting to commit to marrying me, which kind of suggests he doesnt love me as much as one "deserves". To say I dont love him is stupid. I wouldnt have spent 10 years of my life being the dutiful partner if I didnt. I wouldnt have spent 10 years behind him, helping him achieve his dreams and goals while mine were pushed aside. Its just gotten to the point where the love I feel for him isnt enough. Im sick of pretending to be the person he wants me to be instead of the person I am. My kids are also young, so I wont be bringing them into adult relationships they do not understand.

 

He didnt know I was 16 when we met. At 16 I lived with a group of older friends, we actually met at a club where he would of assumed my age to be much older and age wasnt a massive gap between us. Where I live, 16 is a legal age of consent, so no rules were broken. He married young, straight from school and had his first child at 18. Im the only other person he has ever slept with. When I was younger, he helped me deal with a traumatic rape and stood by me through a serious drug addiction. It was me who insisted he didnt leave his wife and children. I didnt want the responsibility back then. I chose to walk away because the hurt it was causing was unbearable. So do I think he would "take care of me and deal with my problems"? Yes I think he would. He has proven over and over that he is there for me when I need him. And he has provided well for his family, maybe not emotionally with his wife, but thats also her cross to bear. Im not the cause of the problems in their marriage, they were unhappy long before I came into the picture.

 

Im not trying to demonize my OH at all. Things arent great, havent been great for a long time, and I have tried my hardest to work on it. Its just gotten to the point where I am constantly walking on eggshells and find it difficult to live in my own home. Maybe this relationship is me looking for a way out? regardless, im not brave enough to leave and I dont want to rip my OHs world apart by taking his kids.

 

Thank you all for your replies. Believe me its nothing I havent thought of myself. At the end of the day, sometimes your heart and your head lead you in different directions.

 

 

...........................

[whichwayisup]

Geeze, judgemental much? Firstly, he is my partner, not my husband.

Hello, he isn't just your partner. HE IS YOUR FAMILY! A ring on the finger and a wedding doesn't change that fact. He's your COMMON LAW husband, legally.

 

He's father of your kids, the man who you share a life with.

 

Seems you both have HUGE miscommunication issues and you've chosen to take the selfish way out by cheating.

 

If you don't want to lose what you have and turn your kids lives upside down, then TALK to him and sort this out. Go to counselling, for the SAKE of your kids, give this your best. To stay out of fear, and cheat on the side because you're afraid of what this will do to your life, your kids etc, isn't fair to anybody.

 

As for the online guy on facebook. Mistake, mistake, mistake. Enough said.

[Spark1111]

End it with OM, like today.

 

As long as you are emotionally investing in this relationship and it is making you feel good, you will NEVER emotionally invest in your marriage, which apparently is not making you feel good.

 

Get to IC and MC once you have gone NC with your OM. You can ring him up in the future if your marriage dissolves. If he truly cares about you, he will respect that decision.

 

Tell your partner that you have a foot out the door, are unhappy, but would like to give a last hard go before you make a permanent decision.

 

Tell him to stop criticizing you, trying to control you, or you will find someone who makes you feel cherished, adored and respected for who you are.

 

Give it a year. Start today.

[rowell2024]

Geeze, judgemental much? Firstly, he is my partner, not my husband. He has never wanting to commit to marrying me, which kind of suggests he doesnt love me as much as one "deserves".

 

Why are cheaters always so afraid about being judged? They ALWAYS play the "judgemental" card when confronted with the truth. Look, you need to own it. It looks like you devalued your "partner" by saying he's not your husband, thus it appears this is one of your rationales for cheating on him. You say you aren't demonizing him, but it's clear by the rest of your post that you are indeed demonizing him. Even though you devalue him as a partner, he's been a husband to you all these years in all but name. He's provided for you and the kids and helped raise them. From your post, it seems you were a 16 year old runaway and a drug addict and your OM is your knight in shining armor, while you describe your "partner" as basically selfish, even though he hasn't betrayed you like you're doing to him. And not a single bad word about your OM, a man who would have sex with a 16 year old and then betray his wife and children years later. I don't care what the state of his marriage is, such a man isn't honorable at all. Such a man is a scumbag in my eyes.

 

Now you're scared about ruining your family and scared about having to raise your kids, especially one with special needs. Too bad you didn't think about that even though you said in your post that you're older and apparently wiser. And now its time to pay the piper.

 

What you can do is the honorable thing, confess your affair to your "partner" and leave, OR confess your betrayal and throw yourself at his feet and beg for forgiveness and work to improve/redeem yourself and your relationship and be the best "partner" you can be. It's up to you.

[michelangelo]

Why are cheaters always so afraid about being judged? They ALWAYS play the "judgemental" card when confronted with the truth. Look, you need to own it. It looks like you devalued your "partner" by saying he's not your husband, thus it appears this is one of your rationales for cheating on him.

 

 

Exactly my thoughts.

 

What you can do is the honorable thing, confess your affair to your "partner" and leave, OR confess your betrayal and throw yourself at his feet and beg for forgiveness and work to improve/redeem yourself and your relationship and be the best "partner" you can be. It's up to you.

 

You presume honor, proof will be the actual decision and behavior.

[sadcalifornian]

If you are truly unhappy with your M, then you should D. What is problematic here is that you are having EA while being married. Affair skew one's mind and lead them to make stupid decisions. If you truly believe you are better off Ding your H, then by all means do it. But while in EA, you cannot trust your own perception of M.

 

You are still married, and therefore you having this EA is simply wrong. Also, it messes up your capacity to think straight. My advice is to end EA. Spend another 6 months or so to truly work on your M. If you must, even threaten your H with D to alert him how serious the situation is. Go to see a lawyer and tell your H about it.

 

If things still do not improve enough and you do not see any hope, then file D and see whoever you want to see to start a new relationship. The way you are going about now is wrong. I do not think staying in M for financial reason is good, but many people settle in M because of financial reasons. This is just a fact of life, for both men and women. No matter how much you love someone, you cannot have a happy relationship without food on the table. If your relationship with H is 90% OK, but that missing 10% is what makes you so unhappy, then it would be much easier to work on that 10%, rather than ending it to look for 100% somewhere else.

 

First, and foremost, you must end this EA.

[Chi townD]

Geeze, judgemental much? Firstly, he is my partner, not my husband. He has never wanting to commit to marrying me, which kind of suggests he doesnt love me as much as one "deserves". To say I dont love him is stupid. I wouldnt have spent 10 years of my life being the dutiful partner if I didnt. I wouldnt have spent 10 years behind him, helping him achieve his dreams and goals while mine were pushed aside. Its just gotten to the point where the love I feel for him isnt enough. Im sick of pretending to be the person he wants me to be instead of the person I am. My kids are also young, so I wont be bringing them into adult relationships they do not understand.

 

He didnt know I was 16 when we met. At 16 I lived with a group of older friends, we actually met at a club where he would of assumed my age to be much older and age wasnt a massive gap between us. Where I live, 16 is a legal age of consent, so no rules were broken. He married young, straight from school and had his first child at 18. Im the only other person he has ever slept with. When I was younger, he helped me deal with a traumatic rape and stood by me through a serious drug addiction. It was me who insisted he didnt leave his wife and children. I didnt want the responsibility back then. I chose to walk away because the hurt it was causing was unbearable. So do I think he would "take care of me and deal with my problems"? Yes I think he would. He has proven over and over that he is there for me when I need him. And he has provided well for his family, maybe not emotionally with his wife, but thats also her cross to bear. Im not the cause of the problems in their marriage, they were unhappy long before I came into the picture.

 

Im not trying to demonize my OH at all. Things arent great, havent been great for a long time, and I have tried my hardest to work on it. Its just gotten to the point where I am constantly walking on eggshells and find it difficult to live in my own home. Maybe this relationship is me looking for a way out? regardless, im not brave enough to leave and I dont want to rip my OHs world apart by taking his kids.

 

Thank you all for your replies. Believe me its nothing I havent thought of myself. At the end of the day, sometimes your heart and your head lead you in different directions.

 

Not judgemental, we're just sitting back watching re-write your marriage. And yes, you've committed yourself to someone for ten years and had his children. As close to a marriage as a marriage can be. You say the OM isn't the reason for you feeling this way about your husband (partner). Okay, if that's the case, then promise me that after you read this, you'll never contact him again, never see him again, EVER! Shouldn't be a problem for you because he isn't a factor in all of this right? Can you make that promise?

 

Okay, so you you say your hopes and dreams were pushed aside. Did you ever REALLY sit down and have a heart to heart with him about it. Did you say, " Hey husband (partner), I want to do this. I've looked into it and I could really use your support on this." If things were that bad at home, did either of you suggest that you two go to couples counseling. Have you gone to counseling? Probably not, because husband (partner) probably isn't even aware of how you're feeling.

 

Re-read your own posts. You're making everything HIS FAULT for your behavior.

 

HE pushed your dreams to the side

HE doesn't love me as much because we're not offically married.

HE makes me feel like I'm walking on eggshells.

HE wants to make me a person that I'm not.

 

You're trying to justify your actions of sleeping with this guy, because your husband (partner) is a jerk, and quite frankly deserves it for treating you like that. So, you shouldn't have any problem telling him that your having sex with someone else because he's a monster and he deserves it! You have your revenge!

 

Look, if it sounds like I'm bashing on you, then okay. Because I want you to own up to your own sh*t. He can be blamed for 50% of the problems in your relationship and you can be blamed for the other 50% of the problems. But, your affair is 100% on you. You can't blame him for that, because you MADE the choice to cheat. He didn't ask you to do that to him. And, in my opinion, he didn't deserve it and I think he's owed the truth.

Edited August 31, 2011 by Chi townD

[2sunny]

Geeze, judgemental much? Firstly, he is my partner, not my husband. He has never wanting to commit to marrying me, which kind of suggests he doesnt love me as much as one "deserves". To say I dont love him is stupid. I wouldnt have spent 10 years of my life being the dutiful partner if I didnt. I wouldnt have spent 10 years behind him, helping him achieve his dreams and goals while mine were pushed aside. Its just gotten to the point where the love I feel for him isnt enough. Im sick of pretending to be the person he wants me to be instead of the person I am. My kids are also young, so I wont be bringing them into adult relationships they do not understand.

 

He didnt know I was 16 when we met. At 16 I lived with a group of older friends, we actually met at a club where he would of assumed my age to be much older and age wasnt a massive gap between us. Where I live, 16 is a legal age of consent, so no rules were broken. He married young, straight from school and had his first child at 18. Im the only other person he has ever slept with. When I was younger, he helped me deal with a traumatic rape and stood by me through a serious drug addiction. It was me who insisted he didnt leave his wife and children. I didnt want the responsibility back then. I chose to walk away because the hurt it was causing was unbearable. So do I think he would "take care of me and deal with my problems"? Yes I think he would. He has proven over and over that he is there for me when I need him. And he has provided well for his family, maybe not emotionally with his wife, but thats also her cross to bear. Im not the cause of the problems in their marriage, they were unhappy long before I came into the picture.

 

Im not trying to demonize my OH at all. Things arent great, havent been great for a long time, and I have tried my hardest to work on it. Its just gotten to the point where I am constantly walking on eggshells and find it difficult to live in my own home. Maybe this relationship is me looking for a way out? regardless, im not brave enough to leave and I dont want to rip my OHs world apart by taking his kids.

 

Thank you all for your replies. Believe me its nothing I havent thought of myself. At the end of the day, sometimes your heart and your head lead you in different directions.

 

so he may not have known your real age when you first met - but at some point he must have understood your true age... what did he do at THAT point? he kept seeing you - knowing full well it was rape for those next few years?

 

also - IF he was M at that time - HE was willing to betray his W by being with a very young gal - young enough to send him to jail in the US.

 

so - when he found out your true age - what did HE do?

 

what is your intent now? to break up his family to be together? if it's not - then step away. if it is - then you MAY be creating a ton of negative energy in order to force that to happen...

[Sh0t]

Some of yall need to slow down and actually read the OP.

 

She is not married. One of her biggest problems with her relationship is her boyfriend WILL NOT COMMIT TO MARRIAGE.

 

Close to married is NOT married. as we argue many times in other contexts, that ring and piece of paper make a huge deal.

 

This forum can be so ridiculous sometimes.

As to the OP: having children complicates everything, but you might just have to resign yourself to breaking up your home if you are tremendously unsatisfied. There is no way you are going to proceed without hurting somebody, including yourself.

Edited September 1, 2011 by Sh0t

[Chi townD]

Some of yall need to slow down and actually read the OP.

 

She is not married. One of her biggest problems with her relationship is her boyfriend WILL NOT COMMIT TO MARRIAGE.

 

Close to married is NOT married. as we argue many times in other contexts, that ring and piece of paper make a huge deal.

 

This forum can be so ridiculous sometimes.

As to the OP: having children complicates everything, but you might just have to resign yourself to breaking up your home if you are tremendously unsatisfied. There is no way you are going to proceed without hurting somebody, including yourself.

 

 

Shot you are ABSOLUTELY right! They aren't married! So, she can tell the guy to go jump off a bridge because she owes NOTHING to him. So she shouldn't feel guilty one iota. She should just pick up and leave..after all they're only friends benefits....nothing more.

 

And thank you for reminding me that a loving and caring relationship holds absolutely no credence, no substance and no value unless it involves a ring and a piece of paper.

[Sh0t]

That wasn't my point. Several posted keep saying "divorce", "husband" , "marriage", etc, forgetting that one of her main issues is that he WON'T MARRY her.

 

If you want to be married, and the other person rebuffs you, it sucks. It can make you feel like the other person doesn't consider you worth marrying, even if everything else is good.

 

We've seen the stories where the woman wants to get married, the guy doesn't. They get advised, appropriately imo, to move on.

[Woman In Blue]

LilMiss, I gotta be honest - any 24 year old married man that lusts after a 16 year old CHILD is repulsive. You can sugar-coat it all you want, but it's completely repugnant. If I had a 16 year old daughter and found out some 24 year old married pervert was sniffing around her, I would have had some male friends pay him a little visit - and I would have called his wife to let her know what a scumbag she's married to.

 

And honestly, you made your own bed with your partner. If you wanted him to marry you, why did you have kids out of wedlock? And TWO?? Why the hell should he marry you if you're going to pop out kids for him without benefit of marriage? It'd be a cold day in hell before I did that for someone who clearly didn't think I was marriage material. If a guy doesn't think you're good enough to marry, you don't reward him by breeding with him.

 

If you're done with your partner, then be done. You chose to have kids so now you've got two to support and raise on your own. As others have said, your partner will be obligated to pay child support for 2 kids whether he married you or not, so quit using the guy as a financial security blanket and move on with your life. As far as lover boy goes, don't be too suprised if you find out he's hanging out at the local high school looking for his next 'girl' friend. Ugh.

[Memphis Raines]

I have a mostly ok relationship with my now partner of 10 years. We have 2 children, but for me there are many issues in the relationship. I love him, but he has never wanted to commit to marriage

 

 

6 months ago I reconnected with an ex boyfriend on facebook. (ahh the dreaded evils of social networking) I first met this guy when I was 16. He is 8 years older than me, and at the time we met he was married with children. We had an intense affair that lasted over 5 years

 

well I'd say he had his suspicions about your character which is why he was not wanting to commit to marriage.

 

been with him for 10 years and out of those 10 years, you spent half of it messing around with another guy. if you don't think that somehow deep down he couldn't sense there was just something about you, think again.

 

the 2nd paragraph proved that he made a wise decision in not committing to marriage.

[Memphis Raines]

That wasn't my point. Several posted keep saying "divorce", "husband" , "marriage", etc, forgetting that one of her main issues is that he WON'T MARRY her.

 

i don't blame him if she spent half their relationship giving her affections to someone else.

[Memphis Raines]

my mistake, saw that the 5 year affair was with the boyfriend back before this relationship.

 

Still, doesn't matter. It proves that he probably had some suspicion as to her character, and he was right.

[lilmiss]

LOL. My character? If my relationship was a happy one, I wouldnt need to look for companionship and caring from another man. Why is his inability to commit my fault? 10 years, 2 kids, a house, a business, me accepting and being a mother to his child from a previous relationship. Yes, its just a ring and a piece of paper, but to me its much more than that. Its standing in front of our family, our friends, our loved ones, and pledging our love for each other. I have never asked nor expected a huge wedding day, but it has been important to me to have a marriage. Its not something that is important to him, along with pretty much everything else I want.

Im not afraid of being judged. I know ive ****ed up big time. Nothing any of you say about how terrible I am isnt something I havent thought of myself. But judging someone as being a rapist, or forcing me as a 16yr old then suggesting I was taken advantage of because I was a "run away drug addict" is stupid.

1. I didnt run away. I moved out, put myself through school and worked because I didnt have an ideal home situation. My mother supported my decision and it probably made my relationship with her stronger.

2. I was raped at 19. Not by the OM, but he was the one who helped me in the aftermath.

3. I started to use drugs around the same time, 3 years into my relationship with him. At no time did he encourage or support my habit, quite the opposite really, but he stood by me and also helped me recover from my addictions.

 

If nothing else, the OM was probably my most closest and trusted friend during my younger years. The affair, the sex, was always secondary to that, and it was always on my terms. It certainly wasnt predatory or abusive, and while I physically was 16, I was a very mature 16 year old and all my friends were much older than me. I knew what I was getting myself into, I actively pursued him. Its the judgement that our relationship was disgusting and illegal that annoys me.

 

As for an update, Ive been super busy this week, and ive spoke to the OM once since monday, and that was yesterday. It was a quick call from him just to see how I was. No facebook contact, no texts, no emails. Im happy for now to give myself some time to think.

[michelangelo]

The only important thing to know is that nothing else matters when someone gets some strange on the side.

 

Kids? Nope. Current relationship? Nope.

 

Self respect? Not even!

[jnj express]

Hey lilmiss---Answer me this---why are you afraid to leave your SO

 

You wanna be married---he won't commit

 

You wanna better life---he won't commit

 

Yet you won't leave and move on and MAYBE, JUST MAYBE FIND A MAN WHO WILL LOVE YOU FOR ALL HE'S WORTH, and maybe commit----what are you afraid of??

 

You still have plenty of life ahead of you, but you ride this merry-go-round

SO, Ex/Lover, SO. Ex/Lover---where are you going with all of this??

 

You know you only get one try at life on this planet, and yet you just seem willing to accept/stay in a miserable life----WHY, WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF??????

[lilmiss]

If I knew the answer to that, maybe it wouldnt be an issue.