dontstopbelieving Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 I know they said once you get through the first month NC it will get easier. I've been 28 days no contact and this week, its hitting me hard. The fact that he broke up with me and never called me again just hurts. I know its for the best, but I thought after breaking the habit of not talking to him it will get easier, apparently not I hope it passes and I finally forget him completely.
ruffianheart Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 Good for you! You should be proud of yourself that you made it through the first month! It sounds like you were focused on getting through the grief so you are really so much closer to healing.
ScienceGal Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 How long were you together? Longer relationships tend to take longer to get over, though there is no predetermined amount of time that it will take you to feel better. Sometimes shorter relationships can hurt for a long time too. Everyone and every circumstance is different. I am just over 2.5 months out and it still hurts, though it is easier than when I was 1 month out. Have you seen any progress in the past month, even if just a little? One way to keep the healing process going is to maintain no contact. Even when it's really hard, you have to do it and be true to yourself. You'll get there. Keep posting on here for support! Good luck p.s. Now I have Journey in my head!
M2155 Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 I am over emotionally wanting to talk to my ex. But I really want to talk to him at some point when this isn't so fresh because I feel like I deserve that conversation we never had (I think I'll be ok if it never happens now though as it's a need not a want). That said, the thing that has and keeps me from not contacting him is thinking about how stupid I will feel if/when he ignores me. You will regret it because it won't do anything for you but disappoint or set you back if you do hear from him. For me, I need someone/thing else new to throw my attention into. Easier said than done. Like the others said, it takes time no matter what. You've pulled off what a lot of others have not been able to and I'm sure day 28 is much easier than day 2 or 8 were!
funnyface Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 all I can say is congratulations on making it this far! I remember with a previous break up, I definitely didn't feel like the progress was linear... but more like up and down waves, sometimes some come out of NOWHERE, until one day the waves just eventually settle. I think its normal to continue with ups and downs for a while, so I wouldn't worry too much about it. one day, out of nowhere, they'll be gone! and yes... think of it this way.... it is definitely better than the single digit days of NC! so you are making progress!
Author dontstopbelieving Posted August 31, 2011 Author Posted August 31, 2011 (edited) Thanks guys! I really appreciate your support. We only dated for 4 months and we never fought. Even with that small time frame, I ended up really liking him. It was just hard to let go because its not like he was a jerk or disrespectful. He tried to be as respectful as possible during the break up and said he just couldn't see us long term. I gracefully accepted the break up because I felt he made up his mind and I wasn't going to try to tell him otherwise. The first week was super tough especially because I almost ran into him, as big as Chicago is, we almost ended up in the same bus 3 days post break up. Thank god the bus was packed! When I do think of him and start missing him I have to remind myself that he chose this and no longer wanted to be with me. And even though, he said he wanted to keep in touch... he broke up with me and has not contacted me since. If he really wanted to keep in touch he knows how to get a hold of me. As much as I miss what we had and what it could of been, I love myself too much to lower my dignity by crying for him to come back. I think my dignity is the only thing I could control in any relationship and I can't let him have it. I admit he was a catch, but dammit so am I. He'll realize that one day when its too late. :-/ I admit it is a little easier to get by at this point...but little things still trigger me and get sad now and then. Soon it'll be over...hopefully. Edited August 31, 2011 by dontstopbelieving
magnus mateo Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 Stay strong. Focus on yourself. Be selfish. Use this time to figure out what you want in your next relationship. Prepare to move on. Hope this helps. Good luck!
Author dontstopbelieving Posted September 1, 2011 Author Posted September 1, 2011 Thanks Mateo. Just had one of those days where little things reminded me of him...not really sure why I'm getting super sad at the one month mark, possibly because I know this is really the end. There's no going back at this point, only forward. Deep down, I wished he would contact me and tell me he made a mistake but at this point I know its done. Here's to a good September! Need to open up the doors to new beginnings rather than looking back.
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