just_scott Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 IT'S kinda funny everyone who is involved in a break-up .how all of a sudden if they're the dumpee or the dumper always goes through a phase where all of a sudden the ex partner isn't worth the feelings ,emotions you're going through OR even a letter or phone call . WHEN you're with the peron they're worth way more than that stuff ,THEN bam their un worthy of it ,YET you still have the idea of possably getting back together with the person . MY friend is going through a seperation right now which will most likely lead to a divorce [her decission mostly] and he wants to stay in contact with his now ex [they split and live apart now] everyone is telling him ''oh screw her she's not worth contacting '', ''she isn't worth giving the time of day to'' etc .no one was un-faithful,theirs no kids involved they just grew apart i guess. HE'S hopping to get back with her [re-kindle the romance/relationship ] I told him forget what people are telling you ,you want her back ?, you want to contact her by letter or a call then do it ,i think she's [or any other ex] is worthy of you telling them how you feel bad or good . HE sent her an e-mail ,then they spoke by phone .NOW this weekend they're going out to dinner to talk .IF he would have listend to everyone saying ''she's not worthy'' then this oppertunity would never have come up . SOMEONE doesn't loose their ''worth'' just because you're not together anymore.UNLESS they totally did you wrong by betraying your trust then i can see them not being ''worthy''
danceallday Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 I find it best to talk to non-judgmental friends. I don't think it is helpful when someone says "I never liked so-and-so" or "they are not worth your time". That is a person you cared very deeply for and most people will always still care for that person. The truth of it is when your friends and family see you hurt, they hurt. They want to do anything and everything to make you feel better. It is hard for them to be neutral because they care so much.
LifeIsLikeThat Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 You know Scott that's very interesting.. But then every situation is a bit different from others. That might explain why some people are so hesitant in taking advice from others, since they feel that other might not fully grasp or understand their situation. In the end, we will always know ourselves, the ones we're dating and our relationships better than anyone else. But at the same time, most often than not, moving on is the only real option. If someone has decided to end a relationship, chances are they have already considered and taken every other possible alternative... And failed. I'm a strong believer in NC as I feel it's essential in rebuilding confidence and a healthy self image. Without that it would be suicidal to jump into a new (or rekindle an old) relationship. And usually with NC, you just naturally reach a stage where you e you don't need them to be happy anymore. I think that's what you were talking about. Off course.. There are always the exceptions. Hope your buddies make it work out in the end ( or at least discover what it takes to make them happy)
WhoMI Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 "SOMEONE doesn't loose their ''worth'' just because you're not together anymore.UNLESS they totally did you wrong by betraying your trust then i can see them not being ''worthy'' I totally agree with that. In my situation my ex never treated me badly & we care a lot about each other. So I think it's worth it to meet up this weekend to spend time & chat (haven't seen him for a month) even if we don't get back together. I hope things will work out for your friend one way or the other.
Author just_scott Posted August 31, 2011 Author Posted August 31, 2011 danceallday-I get what you're saying and agree that's why friends ,famiy say thiose things .I don't think guys hurt with someone due toa break-up though [i know i don't] .MY guy friends when i got dumpped were telling me ''ah screw her,go out find another female'' etc .MY female friends were concerned asked if i wanted to talk etc . WHEN i mentioed to a female friend i was going to contact my ex [for whatever reason] she asked why ? she's not worth you contacing her'' I though hmm was it worth me datting her for the 6 yrs ,did you always feel she wasn't worth it and just never told me before etc .just kind of put a doubt in my mind ,that's why i don't tell people don't contact them their not wort it , i tell thenm your thinking of contactting them then go ahead they'll make up their own minds as to weather it was worth contact or not . lifeislikethat- YEA i think going no contact works for some ,sometimes people want to fight for their ex's IF the ex doesn't want reconcilliation or contact they'll make it known .I don't contact my ex she dumpped me almost 5 months ago .i run into her time to time and i always giver her a hi what's going on ,EVEN ran into her and her new guy at a club and sent over a round of drinks .SHE doesn't want contact from me I just do it to frustrate her she hates it when i give her a big smile and say hi
D-Lish Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 All of my friends told me they got a gay vibe from my ex! The funny thing is I also had some brief moments where I wondered. It actually helps to hear things like that (especially because I KNOW he's not ever coming back). I sent my ex an email about a month ago leaving the door open for contact and telling him I still missed him. I don't regret it because now I know for sure it's really done and I don't have to wonder anymore, I can put that to rest.
Author just_scott Posted August 31, 2011 Author Posted August 31, 2011 d-lish - soo i guess you could say you had a final contact . I think if you're gonna leave the door open for an ex sure attempt contact and [like in your case] the balls in their court ,and you'll get your answer one way or the other......... MAYBE your ex would come back if you had a sex change huh lol [just kidding]
D-Lish Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 d-lish - soo i guess you could say you had a final contact . I think if you're gonna leave the door open for an ex sure attempt contact and [like in your case] the balls in their court ,and you'll get your answer one way or the other......... MAYBE your ex would come back if you had a sex change huh lol [just kidding] I'd make a horrible looking man, lol. Yep- I got that letter out of my system, I'd been sitting on it for a while. I do agree that sometimes you just have to give it a shot.
Author just_scott Posted August 31, 2011 Author Posted August 31, 2011 d-lish - yea sometimes you just got to give a broken relationship a shot totally.......... THINK you'd make a horable man , <------------THAT aint no avatar that's my actual pic heh heh
D-Lish Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 d-lish - yea sometimes you just got to give a broken relationship a shot totally.......... THINK you'd make a horable man , <------------THAT aint no avatar that's my actual pic heh heh You don't live in a really big old house with your bald green uncle do you? I think you do have to give it that final shot if it's worth it to you. You never know what the other person is thinking. Maybe they're missing you but reluctant to contact you because they know they hurt you. I know some reconciliations might happen this way, but for the most part I believe that if someone really wants you back, they'll reach out to you.
Author just_scott Posted August 31, 2011 Author Posted August 31, 2011 d-lish -HEY have you trick or treated at my house before hmmmm lol lovelyg -HEY if you wanna contact your ex and tell him off and you been holding it in for a yr. i say go for it might make you feel better getting it off your chest .
D-Lish Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 LOL, if I ever contacted my ex it would be for the sole purpose of telling him off and giving him what he deserves, a rude awakening. Other than that, only I would know who is and is not worthy of contact from me. He is not worthy, never has been worthy, and never will be. And for his sake, he better not contact me or I will say all the things I've been DYING to say for a year now. Get some self-worth about yourself. Ktx. I think most people get to that point once the have finished grieving the loss. d-lish -HEY have you trick or treated at my house before hmmmm lol lovelyg -HEY if you wanna contact your ex and tell him off and you been holding it in for a yr. i say go for it might make you feel better getting it off your chest . "tricked" maybe;)
Recommended Posts