starla33 Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 (edited) I'm disturbed. We were in bed together for the first time and he said "I'm really infatuated with you and want to get to know you better before we have sex" OR "I'm ****ing with you HAHAHA". Then proceeded to cuddle me all night. It felt like a slap in the face when he said that. And I can't even remember my response to that, but wow I don't think I can get that out of my head now. Maybe my sense of humor is not that great after all? How would everyone else react to this? Edited August 30, 2011 by starla33
OnyxSnowfall Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 I'm disturbed. We were in bed together for the first time and he said "I'm really infatuated with you and want to get to know you better before we have sex" OR "I'm ****ing with you HAHAHA". Then proceeded to cuddle me all night. It felt like a slap in the face when he said that. And I can't even remember my response to that, but wow I don't think I can get that out of my head now. Maybe my sense of humor is not that great after all? How would everyone else react to this? I'm afraid I don't understand what it is that you are implying was disturbing to you. How long have you two known one another? Are you just "friends" or are you dating? And what are your respective ages?
Author starla33 Posted August 30, 2011 Author Posted August 30, 2011 Late 20's this was a date and our first time in bed together. I didn't find the fact that he said he might be fking with me funny.
make me believe Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 What?! That is really weird and would disturb me too! I think you should ask him about it! I would probably be like "so umm, when you said you're either infatuated with me or you're just f*cking with me? Yeah, that was really weird. WTF did you mean?" How long have you known this guy for? Maybe he just has a weird sense of humor... but a comment like that would really bug me, so it's definitely not just you! If he says he was just joking, you should tell him it wasn't funny and that's a really crappy thing to "joke" about the first time you have sex with someone.
dasein Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 Nervous people say strange things. He was nervous because he knows he is throwing a huge man foul by allowing himself to be in bed with a woman for "cuddling."
Pierre Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 This sort of thing can happen when women bring strangers to bed.
OnyxSnowfall Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 He was probably embarrassed and the "haha" part was just him trying to disguise it... he was probably anticipating some kind of rejection or something. Were you both naked? Did he seem aroused? I can't say I find it disturbing... nor meant to be enjoyed and "laughed" with... but rather that his laughter was probably more indicative of nervousness. Maybe he didn't want to seem "creepy" because he has a lot desire for you and thus recanted it in a clumsy way. Or it could be the other extreme... depending upon how the procession of things / clothes etc went =/
April72 Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 Maybe he didn't think you would think it was cool that he wanted to wait to have sex.... but I agree sounds like he was nervous.
Author starla33 Posted August 31, 2011 Author Posted August 31, 2011 He was probably embarrassed and the "haha" part was just him trying to disguise it... he was probably anticipating some kind of rejection or something. Were you both naked? Did he seem aroused? I can't say I find it disturbing... nor meant to be enjoyed and "laughed" with... but rather that his laughter was probably more indicative of nervousness. Maybe he didn't want to seem "creepy" because he has a lot desire for you and thus recanted it in a clumsy way. Or it could be the other extreme... depending upon how the procession of things / clothes etc went =/ yeah were practically naked and he was arrowsed you know it was getting hot n heavy. so it was very odd. now i feel like hes not that interested. So who knows he could have been serious when he said he was fkin with me.....
Author starla33 Posted August 31, 2011 Author Posted August 31, 2011 He was probably embarrassed and the "haha" part was just him trying to disguise it... he was probably anticipating some kind of rejection or something. Were you both naked? Did he seem aroused? I can't say I find it disturbing... nor meant to be enjoyed and "laughed" with... but rather that his laughter was probably more indicative of nervousness. Maybe he didn't want to seem "creepy" because he has a lot desire for you and thus recanted it in a clumsy way. Or it could be the other extreme... depending upon how the procession of things / clothes etc went =/ You know now that i think of it im not sure he even laughed when he said it....
Author starla33 Posted August 31, 2011 Author Posted August 31, 2011 This sort of thing can happen when women bring strangers to bed. is someone a stranger after a few dates still?
FrustratedStandards Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 Depends on how you reacted. If you didn't say anything, his "just f***ing with you" was him feeling rejected and trying to save himself. If you said the same thing back, or reciprocated it verbally, then this guy is a jerk.
Art_Critic Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 is someone a stranger after a few dates still? Well.. judging by the fact that you don't him at all or even enough to know what his personality is like then I'd say yes..
Ginger Beer Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 I'm disturbed. We were in bed together for the first time and he said "I'm really infatuated with you and want to get to know you better before we have sex" OR "I'm ****ing with you HAHAHA". Then proceeded to cuddle me all night. It felt like a slap in the face when he said that. And I can't even remember my response to that, but wow I don't think I can get that out of my head now. Maybe my sense of humor is not that great after all? How would everyone else react to this? This doesn't make sense. Why did you include the word 'or' in here? I'm confused.
Author starla33 Posted August 31, 2011 Author Posted August 31, 2011 This doesn't make sense. Why did you include the word 'or' in here? I'm confused. He said it lol
Pierre Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 Two strangers in bed for the first time can be quite awkward. The two of you felt awkward. The poor guy was just a bit nervous and said something that sounds stupid, but also makes sense. He would like to be f****ing the op regularly, but elected to cuddle with her. Now the op thinks the guy is not into her. Men cannot won.
Pierre Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 And that is why I say: Too much too soon is never a good idea.
Author starla33 Posted August 31, 2011 Author Posted August 31, 2011 And that is why I say: Too much too soon is never a good idea. Honestly it was not awkward and this guy is actually very cocky
dispatch3d Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 He was just making a joke. Wrong place to be making one, that's all.
OnyxSnowfall Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 at worst, he has some demented sadistic side and enjoys power-trips (and or has some major revenge issues with women and gets off on "psyching" girls and trying to make them feel bad). at best, he started to get performance anxiety (or nervous or just having second thoughts in general, and he did want to sleep with you deep down). That he was still affectionate (cuddling) with you afterwards suggests he probably likes you to some degree... it seems like if he was trying to be a jerk, he would have just left or something. But who knows what really goes on in people's heads if you talk to him again, I think you should try to find out what was behind it (if you plan on seeing him again anyway lol).
Pierre Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 Honestly it was not awkward and this guy is actually very cocky Sounds like you do not get his sense of humor. I thought he had said that because he felt nervous and awkward. Why are you upset? The guy acted like a gentleman and did not have intercourse with you.
runner Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 I'm disturbed. We were in bed together for the first time and he said "I'm really infatuated with you and want to get to know you better before we have sex" OR "I'm ****ing with you HAHAHA". Then proceeded to cuddle me all night. It felt like a slap in the face when he said that. And I can't even remember my response to that, but wow I don't think I can get that out of my head now. Maybe my sense of humor is not that great after all? How would everyone else react to this? two words: emotionally immature. the question for you now is if you'd like to continue with this.
Emilia Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 Honestly it was not awkward and this guy is actually very cocky He is just immature. You are making a big deal out of nothing. Should have got to know him during those dates, bet you spent the whole time talking about yourself
rafallus Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 Sounds like something I would say in the days when I thought all it takes to get a woman is just tease and tease her. Yes, I was pretty inexperienced - and I bet on the same with this guy.
betterdeal Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 (edited) I'm disturbed. We were in bed together for the first time and he said "I'm really infatuated with you and want to get to know you better before we have sex" OR "I'm ****ing with you HAHAHA". Then proceeded to cuddle me all night. It felt like a slap in the face when he said that. And I can't even remember my response to that, but wow I don't think I can get that out of my head now. Maybe my sense of humor is not that great after all? How would everyone else react to this? I'd say get the f*ck out of my bed now, but then I am a straight man. Your reaction may vary. But being serious, it made you feel sh*t, which is, in my opinion, understandable. Did you tell him how it made you feel? My guess is his loins were stirring and he was a bit frustrated by the no jiggy jiggy. Edited August 31, 2011 by betterdeal
Recommended Posts