Top Lifestyle Attracters

[ThsAmericanLife]

After reading the threads with things along the lines of 'Top 5 physical attraction/turnoff" and "Dating Dealbreakers"... I thought I'd start another focused on attractions related strictly to lifestyle choice.

 

When I was doing the OLD, I met plenty of men I was attracted to physically. Met some nice men too, who had good integrity and classy, that I may have grown to love... except for their lifestyles. So it occurred to me that, in the big scheme of things, my physical requirements in men are pretty wide ranging. The problem is finding someone of good character and who I feel would be a good partner in most of the following... You can probably guess that some of these criteria are pretty much mutually exclusive in alot of people.

 

Those who are physically active don't tend to be huge art lovers. People who like children have them and usually are locked in one area and won't move... you get the picture.

 

1. Watches little or no TV, video games, etc

2. Very physically active and can 'rough it' outdoors

3. Reads extensively and up on world events

4. Regularly volunteers for causes he is passionate about

5. Loves animals/children even if he doesn't have any

6. Is open to negotiating ideal living location (isn't landlocked by job/kids)

7. Can take care of himself financially and domestically... but wants a partner.

8. Appreciates the arts

9. Has a solid base of friends/family and regularly spends time with them

10. Has ideally been married/divorced/widowed before. (Having been all three myself, it is tough for me to relate to men who have never lost a spouse)

11. No history of addiction of any kind.

12. Enjoys parties and can mingle well, but is not a 'partier'

[CarrieT]

Those who are physically active don't tend to be huge art lovers.

 

I dunno...

 

I hike 10 miles every Saturday, bike 20 miles every Sunday and am a HUGE art lover (and collector).

 

But I'm single and haven't found a guy so that might say something...

[CarrieT]

feamles are pickier

 

I know - we like men who can spell and use punctuation correctly...

 

 

[Imajerk17]

After reading the threads with things along the lines of 'Top 5 physical attraction/turnoff" and "Dating Dealbreakers"... I thought I'd start another focused on attractions related strictly to lifestyle choice.

 

When I was doing the OLD, I met plenty of men I was attracted to physically. Met some nice men too, who had good integrity and classy, that I may have grown to love... except for their lifestyles. So it occurred to me that, in the big scheme of things, my physical requirements in men are pretty wide ranging. The problem is finding someone of good character and who I feel would be a good partner in most of the following... You can probably guess that some of these criteria are pretty much mutually exclusive in alot of people.

 

Those who are physically active don't tend to be huge art lovers. People who like children have them and usually are locked in one area and won't move... you get the picture.

 

1. Watches little or no TV, video games, etc

2. Very physically active and can 'rough it' outdoors

3. Reads extensively and up on world events

4. Regularly volunteers for causes he is passionate about

5. Loves animals/children even if he doesn't have any

6. Is open to negotiating ideal living location (isn't landlocked by job/kids)

7. Can take care of himself financially and domestically... but wants a partner.

8. Appreciates the arts

9. Has a solid base of friends/family and regularly spends time with them

10. Has ideally been married/divorced/widowed before. (Having been all three myself, it is tough for me to relate to men who have never lost a spouse)

11. No history of addiction of any kind.

12. Enjoys parties and can mingle well, but is not a 'partier'

 

That's an awfully long list. Are you describing a guy you'll realistically hope to meet on Match, or are you describing the lead male character in a romance novel?

[Star Gazer]

You can probably guess that some of these criteria are pretty much mutually exclusive in alot of people.

 

Those who are physically active don't tend to be huge art lovers.

 

Woah, couldn't disagree more!!!

[Janesays]

I'm generally attracted to smart, dorky types who are big readers, enjoy sci fi, comic books and things of that nature. These guys also tend to be into video games, although I am not a gamer myself I can accept it as long as it's not an addiction.

 

Must love animals. This is a dealbreaker. I don't trust people who don't love dogs. :-) And also with a sense of humor, I really need someone who can laugh at life and himself.

 

I'm also big into hiking, music, and traveling....so someone who shares those interests is always nice.

 

My current guy fits the bill with almost everything....outside of the hiking. He's not much of a hiker. Can't win em all, I guess.

[AHardDaysNight]

What is a feamale? A male who collects feas?

 

*cough*

 

Anyway, the top lifestyle attractor on there is something that would actually be a turn off, and deal breaker, to me. So apples to oranges.

[Imajerk17]

After reading the threads with things along the lines of 'Top 5 physical attraction/turnoff" and "Dating Dealbreakers"... I thought I'd start another focused on attractions related strictly to lifestyle choice.

 

When I was doing the OLD, I met plenty of men I was attracted to physically. Met some nice men too, who had good integrity and classy, that I may have grown to love... except for their lifestyles. So it occurred to me that, in the big scheme of things, my physical requirements in men are pretty wide ranging. The problem is finding someone of good character and who I feel would be a good partner in most of the following... You can probably guess that some of these criteria are pretty much mutually exclusive in alot of people.

 

Those who are physically active don't tend to be huge art lovers. People who like children have them and usually are locked in one area and won't move... you get the picture.

 

1. Watches little or no TV, video games, etc

2. Very physically active and can 'rough it' outdoors

3. Reads extensively and up on world events

4. Regularly volunteers for causes he is passionate about

5. Loves animals/children even if he doesn't have any

6. Is open to negotiating ideal living location (isn't landlocked by job/kids)

7. Can take care of himself financially and domestically... but wants a partner.

8. Appreciates the arts

9. Has a solid base of friends/family and regularly spends time with them

10. Has ideally been married/divorced/widowed before. (Having been all three myself, it is tough for me to relate to men who have never lost a spouse)

11. No history of addiction of any kind.

12. Enjoys parties and can mingle well, but is not a 'partier'

 

I meet 1, 2, 7, 9, 11, and 12 pretty durn well. I have bits and pieces of 3, 5, and 8 down. I admittedly could do a lot better with 4. I've never been married before so 10 is out for me. Well, my job is here and as jobs are hard to come by and as I don't have a huge stock portfolio, I guess 6 is out for me.

[OnyxSnowfall]

• Watches little to no TV is a definite for me too (as well as being picky about movies)
  
• Loves nature (Hiking, mountain biking, oceans, rivers, forests etc...)
  
• Has an interest in art (Photography, painting, sculpting, architecture, pottery... SOMETHING)
  
• Hopefully loves writing and reading hah
  
• Enjoys learning and trying new things and seeks to do both
  
• Appreciates good food but is also health conscious (drinking only in moderation and no smoking)
  
• Likes games, ranging from chess to rpgs.
  
• Can enjoy peace and quiet but can cope with conflict/chaos lol
  
• Finds beauty in solitude and is capable of allowing me to find mine in it too sometimes lol.
  
• Knows the importance of balance / moderation between work and play
  

 

My current partner fits in with most of those things

[ThsAmericanLife]

That's an awfully long list. Are you describing a guy you'll realistically hope to meet on Match, or are you describing the lead male character in a romance novel?

 

I'm describing me. As they say, 'become the person you want to attract'. I'm not asking for anything I can't offer myself.

 

Believe it or not, I have met men who meet nearly all of the above. They are unfortunately (for me) married and seem to be very happy.

 

A few of them I consider my good friends and cherished mentors...

[ThsAmericanLife]

• Watches little to no TV is a definite for me too (as well as being picky about movies)
  
• Loves nature (Hiking, mountain biking, oceans, rivers, forests etc...)
  
• Has an interest in art (Photography, painting, sculpting, architecture, pottery... SOMETHING)
  
• Hopefully loves writing and reading hah
  
• Enjoys learning and trying new things and seeks to do both
  
• Appreciates good food but is also health conscious (drinking only in moderation and no smoking)
  
• Likes games, ranging from chess to rpgs.
  
• Can enjoy peace and quiet but can cope with conflict/chaos lol
  
• Finds beauty in solitude and is capable of allowing me to find mine in it too sometimes lol.
  
• Knows the importance of balance / moderation between work and play
  

My current partner fits in with most of those things

 

That's really nice I'm happy for you!! Can you clone him?

[Imajerk17]

The more I think about it, the more absurd your list is. Did you really think this through before you made it up?

 

I have no idea how old you are, but there are very few men in their 30's and 40's who love kids BUT who aren't tied to where they are. Think about it: Why would such a man who loves kids and who was married not have any of his own? And if he does have kids, wouldn't he want to keep living nearby so he can see them? And he is probably still supporting them too. So unless he is financially wealthy (hard enough for a single guy below 45 to achieve, nevermind someone who has been supporting a family), he needs to keep his job. So he is tied to the area for his job as well. And if he is a parent, he probably doesn't have much time to be going to museums and the like--he is entertaining his kids.

 

You women and your crazy expectations. Sheesh.

[AHardDaysNight]

The ghost of 9 lives is spamming this thread.

 

Ahem...

 

Yeah, I definitely think your list is a bit unreasonable. It seems like you're looking for the perfect man...and no such man exists. Just like there's no perfect woman.

 

If someone hated kids, but had everything else on your list, would you consider them? Or if they enjoyed the latest episode of Big Brother, but hit everything else on your list, would you reject them?

[Imajerk17]

I'm describing me. As they say, 'become the person you want to attract'. I'm not asking for anything I can't offer myself.

 

Believe it or not, I have met men who meet nearly all of the above. They are unfortunately (for me) married and seem to be very happy.

 

A few of them I consider my good friends and cherished mentors...

 

Of course they're married, genius. If they're so great, why would they leave their wives (loyal to their family), and why would their wives give them up?

[ThsAmericanLife]

Woah, couldn't disagree more!!!

 

Well, at least where I live... it is a pretty much working-class. Nothing against hard working men. They are awesome... and $$ wise, I'm not looking for a breadwinner... so the whole financial thing is off the table with me.

 

However, these same men probably aren't making a habit of listening to the BBC, reading the Economist, or taking in an exhibit at the local art gallery either. Not that reading the Economist is a requirement... but something besides FOX News would be a nice change.

[AHardDaysNight]

I wouldn't date someone who watched Faux news, either.

[ThsAmericanLife]

Of course they're married, genius. If they're so great, why would they leave their wives (loyal to their family), and why would their wives give them up?

 

Not expecting them to leave their wives, and I would never be the OW.

 

Just saying that these men DO exist, and not just in a romance novel.

[Queen Zenobia]

I wouldn't date someone who watched Faux news, either.

 

Same should go for all American media.

[ThsAmericanLife]

I'm generally attracted to smart, dorky types who are big readers, enjoy sci fi, comic books and things of that nature. These guys also tend to be into video games, although I am not a gamer myself I can accept it as long as it's not an addiction.

 

Must love animals. This is a dealbreaker. I don't trust people who don't love dogs. :-) And also with a sense of humor, I really need someone who can laugh at life and himself.

 

I'm also big into hiking, music, and traveling....so someone who shares those interests is always nice.

 

My current guy fits the bill with almost everything....outside of the hiking. He's not much of a hiker. Can't win em all, I guess.

 

That's true! He sounds nice though... I'm a little wary of people who don't like animals too.

[Cypress25]

I'm drawn to lifestyle traits that show the guy is mature and knows how to take care of himself:

 

 

• Good personal hygiene
  
• Keeps his living space clean (it doesn't have to be spotless but it shouldn't be smelly or unsanitary)
  
• Knows how to make his bed (you wouldn't believe how many guys I've dated who had no idea what to do with a fitted sheet and didn't understand why their sheets were always sliding off the mattress)
  
• Pays his own bills
  
• Loves animals (and has pets, ideally)
  
• Keeps his food in the kitchen (guys, it's weird when you keep boxes of breakfast cereal in your bedroom)
  
• Doesn't smoke or abuse drugs
  
• Gets along with his parents but doesn't rely on them for advice or company
  
• Is not a morning person
  

[Imajerk17]

Not expecting them to leave their wives, and I would never be the OW.

 

Just saying that these men DO exist, and not just in a romance novel.

 

So do supermodels with enough money to be my sugga-momma. I keep hoping to meet one on Match but they're so so hard to find! Most women on the site aren't supermodels and most supermodels don't want to support me financially so I can fly out to their model shoots in Hawaii and make sweet sweet love to them.

 

My wit and charm isn't helping me either...

 

On the other hand, if I am willing to "settle" for a cute woman with a good head on her shoulders who is open for a relationship, I actually stand a shot.

 

I'm saying that the man you described is very very rare. And if such a guy is so great, there probably would have been no reason for them to be divorced in the first place.

 

You would do better to at least take the "previously married" part off, for starters.

[Queen Zenobia]

I don't know if I'm attracted to any particular type of lifestyle. I certainly like educated men (my fiance has a Masters in economics), and men who could can enjoy life without doing anything reckless or stupid. But I tend to like men with a lot of different interests and lifestyles. I do like men with a proper balance between work and play though as another poster mentioned.

[ThsAmericanLife]

The ghost of 9 lives is spamming this thread.

 

Ahem...

 

Yeah, I definitely think your list is a bit unreasonable. It seems like you're looking for the perfect man...and no such man exists. Just like there's no perfect woman.

 

If someone hated kids, but had everything else on your list, would you consider them? Or if they enjoyed the latest episode of Big Brother, but hit everything else on your list, would you reject them?

 

Well, I'm not looking for Mr. Gorgeous. Or Mr. Money Bags. Unlike what some men here think all women want.

 

I probably could condense my list down to just a few items though...

 

 

1,3,6,8 describe someone who is curious and wants to spend their time productively.

 

4,5,9 describe someone who is empathetic and not self-centered

 

2, 7, 11 means he is healthy physically and mentally

 

The party thing... I enjoy occasional parties with friends and don't want him to feel left out or off in a corner moping somewhere. Goes with the 'curiosity' thing.

 

and the married/divorced/widowed.... that is probably the most flexible... but at my age (46), the men close to my age and never married seem dicey.

[ThsAmericanLife]

Same should go for all American media.

 

yea, alot of it is cr*p.

 

I like NPR... and my 'namesake'... This American Life... one of my favorite programs.

[ThsAmericanLife]

I don't know if I'm attracted to any particular type of lifestyle. I certainly like educated men (my fiance has a Masters in economics), and men who could can enjoy life without doing anything reckless or stupid. But I tend to like men with a lot of different interests and lifestyles. I do like men with a proper balance between work and play though as another poster mentioned.

 

That is a tough line to walk, isn't it? Being adventurous and enjoying life, but not reckless or stupid about it.

 

I agree that balance is important...