djoey Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 I posted before that my gay lover left me for a WOMAN that he works with. Since posting he has called and text non stop, we even went out for drinks and ended up messing around. He says that he will still date this woman but he cant help being with me because he is still in love with me. I asked him if he has told her and he said yes, and that she is comfortable with his feelings towards me. Then I asked him is he told her about us messing around and he said that it was none of her business. Fast forward til today, he came over to my place. We stood outside and he began telling me that she is pressuring him into sleeping with her. I just stood there like duh, youre a gay man. His reasoning for continuing to date her, that he feels like god wants him to go on another path. I told him that she pressured him and manipulated him into being with her. He used to tell this woman all of our problems. When he and I were together he would always come back and tell me what she has said, and the advice she gave him was to break up with me because I don't appreciate him. Im wondering why this woman would want this gay man. I honestly think that he is confused. While with me he struggled with his sexuality and he has even had issues with his family because of it. Now he says that they totally approve of this woman which hurts my feelings. Its tough getting over him leaving me for her, but I still love him and I hope that he leaves her. I've met this girl and I can tell you that she is in fact controlling and selfish. Like I said before, I can't really be upset with her for dating him, but I feel betrayed by the both of them. I am trying to get better, but I have been crying every day since he left me. He calls and texts every single day, I don't even think his girlfriend knows we still talk anymore. I guess my question is, will he ever come back and should I say something to his "girlfriend"?? Please help!!!
Blue Eyed Brain Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 IMHO, say nothing to the GF... she will tell your EX and you will not see either of them again. As for your ex, well, I'm not an advocate of re-relationships. They just don't seem to work. Do you have any animosity towards your ex? Why did you break up?
Author djoey Posted August 30, 2011 Author Posted August 30, 2011 I love my ex, but I do not agree with what he is doing!! We were together for 2 years. Of course we had problems hear and there, his family was the main problem. They hated me because they felt like I made him this way. His reasoning for being with her is because of God. I cant fight with him about it, but it hurts. He keeps coming back to me. If we are gonna be apart, then so be it. I will admit that I comfort him every time he comes back. I know for a fact that he is unhappy with his decision. He is trying to do the right thing for him.
Blue Eyed Brain Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 Let him do it. Let him make his choices and don't be so available. He maybe using you and anyone deservves better. You will not be able to stop him if this is what he wants. And if you do, he will resent you. Best to you.
M2155 Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 Wow you sound like you would benefit from the traditional NC everyone advocates. Your ex is crazy and confused and sounds like going against what he actually wants. I think letting him be with this woman, if she is as selfish as you say, will teach him that he can't change. Right now he still kinda has the comfort of you being there while he goes on this experiement. It doesn't sound like he is ready to lose you forever, which is why you would benefit from going away for a while and making him experience just that. Cause it sounds like he still has feelings of some sort for you.
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