Nanaja Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 I don't know if this is the right place, but I am willing to try my luck. Okay my issue isn't probably that important like cheating, divorce, kids jealousy etc. but I just need some perspective. I've been with my bf for two years now (living together for almost 4 months) and it has been good so far. But he has a thing: he doesn't want to go out. Ever. He'd rather stay home and watch some stupid television. Going to the movies from time to time it's okay with him, but that's about it. There has been a situation that really has me worried though. My friends decided to go to a club and they invited us as well( mostly me since they only know him through me). When I told my bf about this he said he didn't want to go. Just like that. I didn't want to go by myself -and he didn't like that idea either- so I tried to persuade him and managed somehow to drag him along. When we got there he barely grunted a "hello" to my friends and then he sat at the table sulking all night. He didn't want to dance or talk so I just stood there with him watching other people having fun. It was awkward and embarrassing. And if that wasn't bad enough he insulted one of my friends when we had to drop her home afterwards. He never apologized. He doesn't seem to think he did anything wrong and I am too disgusted by his behavior to even talk to him. Since Saturday we're having this passive-aggressive b.s that I hate. He is too stubborn to make the first step and I don't want to give in either. If I do this right now, that's how is going to be for the rest of our time together. Is he antisocial or something? He can't be, since he seemed able to talk and flirt with me in the beginning. I should point out that he doesn't go out on his own either. He just works and comes home and that's all the life he has outside our relationship. My friends said to get out while I still can, but I don't want to give up on him yet I don't know how to fix this problem.
Eddie Edirol Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 You cant fix what he doesnt think is broken. You saw that he didnt like to go out in the beginning, this is the way he is, this is the way he likes it, you wont change him. You should have accepted this when you realized it long ago. Your best bet is to tell him that you want to start going out with him otherwise you will have to bail on him, because youre no longer attracted to a homebody.
Spices Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 Ha, he sounds like me. I'm not shy when it comes to being with people one on one (friends, dates, ect) but when it comes to large groups of people I can become very uncomfortable. Not that I don't put out an effort to be social. My guy was very fun & outgoing, and so for his sake I still tried to force myself to go to clubs with him and have fun. He even tried to teach me to dance. It sounds like he's not willing to put fourth the effort. Maybe he had a bad past experience. I'd take baby steps & positively encourage him.
Nexus One Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 So he makes it clear to you that he doesn't want to go to clubs, but you drag him there anyway against his will and then you're surprised he's not having a great time?
Author Nanaja Posted August 30, 2011 Author Posted August 30, 2011 I actually didn't think about depression. But nothing has happened recently (that I know of) to trigger it. And this club thing isn't something that occurs every week or month. But they thought it would be nice to go and I agreed. I admit that I should have checked with him first, but it wasn't like we were doing anything else at that time and I honestly didn't expect him to flat out refuse. It sounds like he's not willing to put fourth the effort. Maybe he had a bad past experience. I'd take baby steps & positively encourage him. That's the gist of it. He didn't even try. I'm not a social butterfly either, but at least I am polite. I felt like he didn't even care that he was being rude. So he makes it clear to you that he doesn't want to go to clubs, but you drag him there anyway against his will and then you're surprised he's not having a great time? Well, when you put it like that it sounds worse than it is. He had two options (I went with him or I went alone). He wanted the third: to stay home.
Imajerk17 Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 Well how exactly did you meet this fine catch of a man, and what attracted you to him?
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