Jamone Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 Hello all My wife and i start counselling next tuesday and i'm having doubts as to whether it'll work. Ever since our separation she seems to have a new lease of life and goes out constantly. Now there's been many reasons for us leaving but i think she doesn't love me anymore so what's the point of counseling? when i brought it up last week she said she was willing to attend counseling to find out if we're compatible or not. Wasn't quite sure how to take that. Anyway, before we split i got nothing from her emotionally. She's always glued to her phone or in a book. There was nothing there. We only communicated out of necessity and when it relates to our daughter. Everything else she discusses with her friends or her mom. I'm usually the last to know anything. How will counseling help? Will it make her fall in love with me again? change her ways? I still have feelings for her but she's as stubborn as an ox and always wanted things her way. If i say anything or even make plans that clashes with hers she throws her toys out the pram and has a tantrum. Will i be wasting my time and money on counseling when i don't really feel that her heart is in it?
AudentesFortuna Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 I never made it to MC counseling with my stbx but I go to individual counseling on a regular basis. I have found that when you embrace counseling, it can change your life. It's that powerful. I don't know any of your details but a couple of session of MC might not hurt. It might not do anything for the M but it might trigger something in you that you can pursue further and improve yourself.
speedster Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 MC will not make anyone fall in love, it does not change people. don't get your hopes up for that. you said 'there was nothing there'... so what is there to build upon? please see an individual counselor, regardless of whether you two attend MC. i promise you will get more out of individual therapy.
Author Jamone Posted September 2, 2011 Author Posted September 2, 2011 you said 'there was nothing there'... so what is there to build upon? please see an individual counselor, regardless of whether you two attend MC. i promise you will get more out of individual therapy. Good point. I'll still attend the 1st session and see where it takes us. Even though i'm out of the house and some days i'm 'strong' i'm still emotionally driven but i can appreciate that this is because i'm still in the early days of separation. Doesn't make it easy though. Thanks for the replies and i'll let you know how we get on. I'm quite interested in her motive for agreeing to do this. In the meantime i'll look into some IC.
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