Cracker Jack Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 What's the best way in finding a woman who clearly isn't into that drama, then? The last girl I was talking to (awhile back) came off as someone who disliked drama and jerks....but ended up being the exact opposite of everything she said. It all became obvious months later. She's beautiful, tho. I've known a few "average" women who preferred douches to good men, too. I understand what you're trying to get across, but I guess what I'm trying to say is that this is far more complicated than "would you choose plain jane over hottie with a body that chases jerks". Way more complicated.
Author grkBoy Posted August 30, 2011 Author Posted August 30, 2011 What's the best way in finding a woman who clearly isn't into that drama, then? The last girl I was talking to (awhile back) came off as someone who disliked drama and jerks....but ended up being the exact opposite of everything she said. It all became obvious months later. She's beautiful, tho. I've known a few "average" women who preferred douches to good men, too. I understand what you're trying to get across, but I guess what I'm trying to say is that this is far more complicated than "would you choose plain jane over hottie with a body that chases jerks". Way more complicated. I agree. Seriously. What I would love to see happen would be guys like you and the others who get tired of the constant "bad boys getting all the girls" thing to simply write off these women. Look how many older women now are lamenting and complaining how they can't find "decent men"? Yet these same women still want a "decent man" who comes "packaged" as a bad boy. The biggest liberation I found is when I stopped looking at these women as "possible" or "viable"...even if it meant my dating pool drastically shrank down. When I stepped back and saw all these women and thought "would I recommend to any friend to date her?", that's when I got clarity. For women, I would simply tell you to stop looking at the guys who piss you off as "possible" or "viable". The ones who do I notice find men and love. I think for the amount of topics I see pop up on how women pick the "bad men", the answers are either to become a "bad man" to get those girls, or forget those women and stop hoping or wondering if they'll change. One thing women love is strength and confidence. Part of getting that is being able to walk away from a woman who you know won't be good for you...even if it means you don't get laid. I give loads of credit to the women who walk away from the "bad men", rather than try to "change them". This is part of how you guys will get the girls...when you first weed out the hot looking, but totally terrible ones...and then have the strength to walk away when you see any of them try to play games. Learn to really love yourself first. That's crucial.
madjac74 Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 I don't think women are generally attracted to bad boys. I think women are generally attracted to qualities that bad boys often possess and exploit in droves i.e.: * confidence, power, intensity, action, passion, adventure, mystery, drama I agree with this. I don't think I'm a bad boy other than I have a smart ass mouth, say what I'm thinking even if it may be offensive, I can be cocky at times but Im also thoughtful, generous, loving, a hopeless romantic but I have one of these gorgeous women that you describe. Looks great in a skirt and heels (she doesnt wear miniskirts because she is classy) turns heads wherever we go, she gets hit on on a daily basis. But she is also nothing like those girls with the "ME ME ME" personalities. Those are disqusting women no matter how great looking she is. I would take an average looking girl over that any day. But you really can have the best of both worlds. While my GF is jaw dropping gorgeous, she is also highly intelligent (working on her PhD), she makes a ton of money working for a government agency so she does not need to be one of these shallow gold diggers
Cracker Jack Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 (edited) Oh, I agree with you completely. I've let that (bad boys get all the girls, sucks to be me. Time to transform) mindset go and just realized it is what it is. To be honest, that level of thinking has done nothing but allow me to make excuses for myself--and we know when you make excuses for yourself you never advance. I guess one of the #1 issues for some of us, is that we don't have much life experience (aka, relationships, sex, etc) to go on. I'm 23 and don't have much. According to some women, lack of those experiences listed in the parenthesis are a dealbreaker in the real world. Of course, the quick, easy solution to this would be to simply gain experience and go from there, but it simply doesn't work like that. When you add that to the mix, it makes you feel less than normal. As much as it pains me to admit....if I was to meet a woman today or tomorrow who I knew it wouldn't work out with, I'd probably be too desperate to walk away. I guess it comes down to wanting to have something instead of opting for nothing. Lame, I know. But...regardless of what I've said above, I think you're 100% correct in that we need to love and value ourselves--along with being able to emit confidence and strength from within in our daily lives to draw those nice women to us. Some of us just don't know how to do that, unfortunately. Not trying to whine, I'm just being honest. Edited August 30, 2011 by Cracker Jack
betterdeal Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 They go for the bad boys for the same reason you go for these girls - their raw animal magnetism. You do as your told and follow the rules and they do as they want and break the rules. You both made choices. Choices that make it very very very unlikely that you'll meet. So this is all wrong thinking: they aren't interested in you? Their loss. Go meet someone who is.
Woggle Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 Very true. Even if these women are beautiful they are usually so screwed up in the head it negates all of that. Like attracts like.
AHardDaysNight Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 Can this guy become a bad boy? http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcShB-6COJeR5B66qIC_FPyF7fM8QLTNgdGp28Id-M__9tgYVQSNBw Because I honestly look like him. I would take an average, caring woman over some hot slut, but when it comes down to it, even the average girls like the bad boys. There's no room for us geeks.
rafallus Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 Very true. Even if these women are beautiful they are usually so screwed up in the head it negates all of that. Like attracts like. In a way, they are doing most men a favor by not being interested in them. Too bad many guys won't see it.
Woggle Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 In a way, they are doing most men a favor by not being interested in them. Too bad many guys won't see it. True and most of them end up used up. When I went to my high school reunion a few years the women who always chased after the jocks and school bullies for the most part looked terrible while a few women who were known for being geeky and level headed blossomed into beautiful women. The make geeks tended to be the same way.
Zaphod B Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 However, when it's a running pattern, then they are not good women. Even if they aren't the type to forgive the guy 1000 times and give him more chances...if they keep pursuing the same types of guys who end up being the jerks or "bad men", then it clearly shows why these women are not ideal for any "decent man". Yeah, true. And with the woman I was talking about, I came to the conclusion that she will never have good relationships with anyone. I've seen women all over of all education and income levels play that game. Where they claim they're not like those "other girls", but their actions still show they are. I know girls with college degrees and careers who are hopelessly attracted to narcissistic yuppie types, but can't figure out why every man they date turns into a non-commitment jerk. I know women who love "macho Italian types" who still can't figure out why every guy they pursue turns into a jerk. I'm seeing the same types of things! LOL. That's the point here...why would you want a girl who you know will willingly choose drama and flaky behavior when you as a man would not want that in a woman? Maybe not for a long term relationship, but I'd sure like to get in on some of the action those guys are getting!
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