grkBoy Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 How many of you guys seriously want one of those girls? How many of you would rather try with one of those super-hot screwed up women over let's say some "plain Jane" who has a head on her shoulders, but doesn't look phenomenal (or even dress) in a miniskirt with heels? If you knew hooking up with one of these bad boy chasers means you'll get lots of drama and she'll always "get bored easily" or "wonder if she can do better than you", would you still attempt it? Would you be willing to blow your paychecks on keeping said "princess" happy? Would you be willing to constantly stay in great shape and dress impeccably so you will keep her attention? What if you knew she would dump you in a moment if you lost your job and thus didn't have any money? What if the "price" to get a one-night-stand with said girl is $1000 in dinner, drinks, and entertainment? Do you still seriously want one of these girls?
Cracker Jack Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 (edited) I'd take an "average" woman over that any day. I've always had that opinion. I like attracted to "average" women in general, so it's not like it would matter much to me. I'd rather just bang the "hottie" and leave it alone instead of pursuing anything further. Someone else can deal with the glamorous chick on a consistent basis. Edited August 30, 2011 by Cracker Jack
dasein Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 Rationally, few sane men would want that type. However, also rationally, every man has to make adjustments in what traits and types of behavior, past or present, he will tolerate in women, given that ruling out behaviors as unacceptable reduces his prospective dating pool, sometimes drastically. So most guys would say "of course not, I don't want a moron like that," while larger perspective deems that ruling out the entire left side of the bell curve is quite a drastic reduction in dating/sex/whatever prospects, especially in light of how few men want a fat woman, and there goes 65% of American women right off the bat. When you start out seeking a reasonably fit partner, and then realize that you have cut your pool by 65%, ruling out more and more for whatever reason, even rationally good ones, really starts to hurt.
fortyninethousand322 Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 I've never been jealous because of the type of women that go for those type of guys, but rather of those guys' ability to attract women in general. So, for me if the choice was between having a low quality girl with those characteristics and having no girl at all, I honestly don't know which I would choose. I tend to lean towards the idea that having something (anything) is better than nothing at all.
Elysian Powder Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 How many of you guys seriously want one of those girls? How many of you would rather try with one of those super-hot screwed up women over let's say some "plain Jane" who has a head on her shoulders, but doesn't look phenomenal (or even dress) in a miniskirt with heels? If you knew hooking up with one of these bad boy chasers means you'll get lots of drama and she'll always "get bored easily" or "wonder if she can do better than you", would you still attempt it? Would you be willing to blow your paychecks on keeping said "princess" happy? Would you be willing to constantly stay in great shape and dress impeccably so you will keep her attention? What if you knew she would dump you in a moment if you lost your job and thus didn't have any money? What if the "price" to get a one-night-stand with said girl is $1000 in dinner, drinks, and entertainment? Do you still seriously want one of these girls? You do know that marrying/dating the average jane is not a guaranteed way of preventing being cheated on or dumped, right? I doubt that the majority of the men and women who suffer betrayal were in relationships with drama kings and #1 hot girls from Brazil. Human nature, when given the opportunity, is going to take the wheel. Parents do not put a 14 year old boy and a 14 year old girl in a room, without supervision. I'm baffled by how everyone has the common sense to know this, but when it comes to betrayal and amoral mating strategies, it's suddenly assumed that hot, young women = dama queen, and hot guys = douchebags. The average man and woman would never do it . Oh, and I'd take the hot woman. I've been cheated on by stable, relationship-minded women. At least the eye candy will make women flock to me.
Author grkBoy Posted August 30, 2011 Author Posted August 30, 2011 I've never been jealous because of the type of women that go for those type of guys, but rather of those guys' ability to attract women in general. So, for me if the choice was between having a low quality girl with those characteristics and having no girl at all, I honestly don't know which I would choose. I tend to lean towards the idea that having something (anything) is better than nothing at all. Bear in mind that part of what those guys do is prey on the girls with low self-esteem. These girls really want a "dream man" and they present themselves as that, knowing that these girls will see past their red flags in the hopes they can "make it work". The reason the "nice guy" doesn't get those girls though is because he still isn't showing himself as the "dream man" these women want. They come off as Maxwell Smart when the girls want James Bond.
fortyninethousand322 Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 Bear in mind that part of what those guys do is prey on the girls with low self-esteem. These girls really want a "dream man" and they present themselves as that, knowing that these girls will see past their red flags in the hopes they can "make it work". The reason the "nice guy" doesn't get those girls though is because he still isn't showing himself as the "dream man" these women want. They come off as Maxwell Smart when the girls want James Bond. Keep in mind I don't go for those type of women anyway. I usually go for average looking (at the most slightly above average looking) nerdy/intellectual types. Are those types looking for James Bond too?
Author grkBoy Posted August 30, 2011 Author Posted August 30, 2011 Keep in mind I don't go for those type of women anyway. I usually go for average looking (at the most slightly above average looking) nerdy/intellectual types. Are those types looking for James Bond too? Some do, others simply don't know what they want, or just don't want what you're offering.
Nexus One Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 I'd ask Lindsay Lohan out on a date if I had the opportunity. She's an exception though, partly because I don't really believe the entire exaggerated hypes around her in the media. She's kind of rough around the edges, but has her heart in the right place...I think.
fortyninethousand322 Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 Some do, others simply don't know what they want, or just don't want what you're offering. And thus we're back at the same conundrum: the types of women those bad guys are getting are way better than the types that I am, which is none.
Author grkBoy Posted August 30, 2011 Author Posted August 30, 2011 And thus we're back at the same conundrum: the types of women those bad guys are getting are way better than the types that I am, which is none. So what's stopping you from doing some of those things that will up the chances? Things like hitting the gym, make more money, do interesting things, etc.
fortyninethousand322 Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 So what's stopping you from doing some of those things that will up the chances? Things like hitting the gym, make more money, do interesting things, etc. I've been hitting the gym for years, I'm in pretty good shape. Money will come (I'm only 23, just out of college) and I don't even know what interesting things to do.
Elysian Powder Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 Bear in mind that part of what those guys do is prey on the girls with low self-esteem. These girls really want a "dream man" and they present themselves as that, knowing that these girls will see past their red flags in the hopes they can "make it work". The reason the "nice guy" doesn't get those girls though is because he still isn't showing himself as the "dream man" these women want. They come off as Maxwell Smart when the girls want James Bond. Not really. The women are perfectly aware that the guy isn't going to stay around. Women aren't little lost Angels. Honest. They do not need to be told to stay away from the big bad wolf. Many of 'em love the big, bad wolf. Some want to touch it but get bitten, and some want to keep the wolf, can't do it, resort to playing the victim role. I've seen many guys meddling with the local Angelina Jolie. You honestly think Angelina Jolie was going to date 'em? I did not see the men claiming 'low self-esteem' as their motive to sleep with her. They enjoyed the exp. The women who wanted more but did not get it, those are the ''omg, he used me' line when they're trying to fish a free dinner from the white knight at hand. Part of the allure of the bad boy lies in this attitude: Most of the women who mess with the bad boy would grow bored of him IF he was caught.
Author grkBoy Posted August 30, 2011 Author Posted August 30, 2011 I've been hitting the gym for years, I'm in pretty good shape. Money will come (I'm only 23, just out of college) and I don't even know what interesting things to do. Play sports, even socially. Learn about art and go to gallery openings, if you're into that. Take cooking classes and wow women by making them dinner. Travel and see the world. Shoot photos if you're into that. Fix up cars if you're into that. You get my point?
Author grkBoy Posted August 30, 2011 Author Posted August 30, 2011 Not really. The women are perfectly aware that the guy isn't going to stay around. Women aren't little lost Angels. Honest. They do not need to be told to stay away from the big bad wolf. Many of 'em love the big, bad wolf. Some want to touch it but get bitten, and some want to keep the wolf, can't do it, resort to playing the victim role. I've seen many guys meddling with the local Angelina Jolie. You honestly think Angelina Jolie was going to date 'em? I did not see the men claiming 'low self-esteem' as their motive to sleep with her. They enjoyed the exp. The women who wanted more but did not get it, those are the ''omg, he used me' line when they're trying to fish a free dinner from the white knight at hand. Part of the allure of the bad boy lies in this attitude: Most of the women who mess with the bad boy would grow bored of him IF he was caught. So what's stopping you then from being a total "bad boy"...if you're not doing it already? I'm serious...if you're not being a total playa/charmer, what's stopping you?
Elysian Powder Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 So what's stopping you then from being a total "bad boy"...if you're not doing it already? I'm serious...if you're not being a total playa/charmer, what's stopping you? What's the point of bragging?
fortyninethousand322 Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 Play sports, even socially. Learn about art and go to gallery openings, if you're into that. Take cooking classes and wow women by making them dinner. Travel and see the world. Shoot photos if you're into that. Fix up cars if you're into that. You get my point? I play basketball 2-3 times a week, and I'm on a co-ed rec league team. I think the biggest issue I have is that I'm just not confident. I don't see myself as a catch.
Author grkBoy Posted August 30, 2011 Author Posted August 30, 2011 What's the point of bragging? I'm not bragging, but more holding up mirrors. If you're being the "bad boy" and getting the chicks, then just say so...no detail needed...and I'll leave it alone. If not, and you're alone and hating it, then what's stopping you from becoming these guys who get the girls? You don't have to answer if you don't want to...you can tell me to f**k off and I'll leave it alone. I'm just more or less delving into the deeper question based on many topics I see posted on this forum. I see so many guys speak of how all the women chase the most horrible men out there, but I learned long ago how terrible those women are...yet some here make it out to be that they would gladly take "messed up girl" over being alone or being with a bland boring (even ugly) woman. So I simply ask then to all those guys...what's stopping you from getting those hotter women with issues? Why not then spend time and work to be the total playa women will be b***hing about in iVillage, but yet they'll keep trying and trying to "tame" you?
Zaphod B Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 Seems that it's only natural for women in general to be attracted to bad boys. Does that mean they are bad girls themselves? Not necessarily. I've met many beautiful woman who are really lovely people and they are adament they don't want bad boys. But then they reject the nice guys and still go for the bad boys. It seems to be in their genetic make up. A classic example for me was my last girlfriend. Absolutely stunning. Gorgeous figure. She has men hitting on her all the time and she hates it. She finds it offensive that men would think she was the type of girl they could just lure into bed without getting to know her first. She has been cheated on and lied to so many times and she insists she wants a nice guy who will treat her with respect. But you know what? that was crap. What she wanted was a bad boy who treats every other woman like dirt and is nice only to her. But she'll never get that because no such man exists. Bad boys will be bad to EVERYONE including you! It's the way it is. I think deep down, that's what most women want - a bad boy who is bad to everyone else but good to them. I'd love to be proven wrong on this one. Really would.
Author grkBoy Posted August 30, 2011 Author Posted August 30, 2011 I play basketball 2-3 times a week, and I'm on a co-ed rec league team. I think the biggest issue I have is that I'm just not confident. I don't see myself as a catch. Now you found what holds you back. It's ok...I had the same problem. Only solution I found was to stop equating my own sense of self-value with whether or not I have a woman...and doing things to completely stop putting pressure on myself to "find someone". I'm honestly tying to help you here.
Elysian Powder Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 I play basketball 2-3 times a week, and I'm on a co-ed rec league team. I think the biggest issue I have is that I'm just not confident. I don't see myself as a catch. Talk to your guy friends. Arrange a trip with them. Ibiza sounds good? Take fashionable clothes with you. Get a surfer haircut. Smell good and just shake your head in the dance floor. Attractive women will approach you. You'll get laid if you don't panic. You'll quickly obtain that confidence.
Elysian Powder Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 I'm not bragging, but more holding up mirrors. If you're being the "bad boy" and getting the chicks, then just say so...no detail needed...and I'll leave it alone. If not, and you're alone and hating it, then what's stopping you from becoming these guys who get the girls? You don't have to answer if you don't want to...you can tell me to f**k off and I'll leave it alone. I'm just more or less delving into the deeper question based on many topics I see posted on this forum. I see so many guys speak of how all the women chase the most horrible men out there, but I learned long ago how terrible those women are...yet some here make it out to be that they would gladly take "messed up girl" over being alone or being with a bland boring (even ugly) woman. So I simply ask then to all those guys...what's stopping you from getting those hotter women with issues? Why not then spend time and work to be the total playa women will be b***hing about in iVillage, but yet they'll keep trying and trying to "tame" you? How about reading my first posts? Not on this thread.
Author grkBoy Posted August 30, 2011 Author Posted August 30, 2011 I think deep down, that's what most women want - a bad boy who is bad to everyone else but good to them. I'd love to be proven wrong on this one. Really would. You're totally right on the bolded part. The problem though is here: I've met many beautiful woman who are really lovely people and they are adament they don't want bad boys. But then they reject the nice guys and still go for the bad boys. You still believe those particular women are "good women". I can understand when it's a kind beautiful intelligent woman who ends up being tricked by one or two playas who come off as "good men", but they aren't. I give the women much credit especially when they have the strength to dump the guy immediately. However, when it's a running pattern, then they are not good women. Even if they aren't the type to forgive the guy 1000 times and give him more chances...if they keep pursuing the same types of guys who end up being the jerks or "bad men", then it clearly shows why these women are not ideal for any "decent man". I know some women will now chime in and attack my words here, but there is a truth to it. As much as a guy who keeps chasing immature drama queens and sl*ts isn't a "good man" for any "good woman". I've seen women all over of all education and income levels play that game. Where they claim they're not like those "other girls", but their actions still show they are. I know girls with college degrees and careers who are hopelessly attracted to narcissistic yuppie types, but can't figure out why every man they date turns into a non-commitment jerk. I know women who love "macho Italian types" who still can't figure out why every guy they pursue turns into a jerk. I still see women think the bartenders or bar managers they flirt with can somehow become "wonderful men"...but every time the guy becomes a drunken animal who cheats. Men and women...they need to judge people by their ACTIONS...not what they say. Most of the women I know who chronically chase jerks, playas, narcissists, "bad boys", etc...are nice girls when you get to know them, but I don't take them seriously in life because they constantly keep going after the same stereotypes that usually hurt them, and they refuse to change their own thinking to get a guy that will give them what they want in a RL. And yes, I've seen plenty of guys do the same...like the ones who keep chasing these women and wonder why they get rejected for a jerk. That's the point here...why would you want a girl who you know will willingly choose drama and flaky behavior when you as a man would not want that in a woman?
Author grkBoy Posted August 30, 2011 Author Posted August 30, 2011 Talk to your guy friends. Arrange a trip with them. Ibiza sounds good? Take fashionable clothes with you. Get a surfer haircut. Smell good and just shake your head in the dance floor. Attractive women will approach you. You'll get laid if you don't panic. You'll quickly obtain that confidence. Oh hell yeah...great idea. I wish I could push a "Like" button on that reply. I didn't go to Ibiza, but even when I traveled alone to some places it boosted my confidence. You find yourself daring to do things when you're in a place you won't see on a regular basis. How about reading my first posts? Not on this thread. I shall
Nikki Sahagin Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 I don't think women are generally attracted to bad boys. I think women are generally attracted to qualities that bad boys often possess and exploit in droves i.e.: * confidence, power, intensity, action, passion, adventure, mystery, drama Women are looking for a passionate and intense love affair, which often doesn't really compute with real life and real relationships. I think as much as men, women are looking for passionate love affairs. As much as women do want to settle down, there is a part of every woman that craves a mad love affair. Now if you want to know why some girls go for some REALLY skanky boy types, that I can't answer.
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