vamous5 Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 Hi I'm new to this site and this is my first post. I'll try to make it short as I can. Dated my ex for 11 and a half months. Broke up mutually about a month and a half ago cause we argued about petty things and we both agreed that things weren't the same anymore. After 2 weeks, I started NC. Deleted his number, deleted him off of FB, unfollowed him on Twitter, etc. 6 days later he contacted me about a very personal problem that happened with his family and said he needed someone to talk to. He contacted me 3 other times after this. Once just to talk and the other 2 to check on me because he saw I was upset after I posted something on Twitter. So obviously he still cares. One month after the breakup, I texted him just saying that I got time to settle down after all this has happened and I still miss talking to him and it's nice to talk when we get the chance and that I appreciated him being there for me when I was upset. His response, "I honestly really don't know how to respond to that." Started NC again after that and today I am on the 13th day. I am just confused that he sent these mixed signals and broke the NC and acted like he cared but then he doesn't know what to say when I told him what I did. I just need some words of advice. Thanks
SugarLily Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 Sweetie, The best advice anyone can give you is to continue NC. It's normal to not understand why your ex behaves in the way he does, why he says the things he says, why he texts the things he texts. But you know what? It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter what he's doing, or why he's doing it. This isn't about him anymore. This is about YOU. You need to focus on yourself. You need to make yourself happy. Breaks ups are awful - and it's never going to be easy - the only way you can fully heal is by cutting all contact with him. The break up was mutual - you both acknowledged that the relationship wasn't right. It's in the past now and it's time to move forwards. Now is the time to really be selfish and evaluate your life. Although what happened is sad - it happened for a reason. One day you will look back and understand why. Sending you lots of love. x x x x
Author vamous5 Posted September 1, 2011 Author Posted September 1, 2011 15 days. NC now. Any other words of advice? Please. I'd love to hear them.
PelicanPete Posted September 1, 2011 Posted September 1, 2011 Start working towards being the person you've always wanted to be. Try replacing the desire to talk to him with the desire to do "x", practice "y", or learn about "z". Healthy interests or hobbies that you didn't pursue while in a relationship. By doing that you'll progress and move away from the person you were in your past relationship. You'll never be able to move on if you keep your break up close by. If you continue with the same routine as when you were in a relationship, you'll keep the same mindset, thoughts, and point of view. If everything stands still, you're not "moving" forward.
Author vamous5 Posted September 5, 2011 Author Posted September 5, 2011 Well it seems like to me he still cares alot about you! How do you feel about him? I still care about him too and I still have some very minor feelings about him. For me, NC gets easier everyday. It would be nice to talk to him but I never have the urge to pick up the phone and text him. If it came down to it, I probably wouldn't take him back.
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