BarbElaine Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 Hi to all of you, this is my first time here. Like you, I've been dealing with the yo-yo emotions of moving on from a recent break-up. We lived together almost 6 years. He moved into my house. I'm 55 now...met him at 49, about 8 months after my husband had passed. I realize now, it was probably too soon. Obviously I was needy and vulnerable. He has a narcissist-type personality (label from my counselor), and although he had some wonderful qualities (creative, interesting, romantic) he also was emotionally abusive, unemployed for 75% of the time together, and a financial mess. Things had been deteriorating for quite a while, yet I did not have the courage to end it. Final straw came after another request for $1,000. BTW, he's a pot smoker, in addition to being a stay-at-home dreamer guy. I questioned the money request, as it had just been 2 weeks since the last request. Major explosion, and I'm a ''bad person, selfish, unsupportive,'' etc. That is when the light bulb finally came on, and I made the decision to end it. It was not easy, but I stuck to my resolve. After a slew of emails and calls, nasty insults and then pleading promises, he gave up. He left for out of town for a few days, then returned unannounced and moved out almost all of his stuff while I was at work. No note, nothing, just wrote ''FREEDOM'' on the calendar, 8/18/11. On 8/19, he sent a hateful email to me, and then no contact from him at all. He has left a bunch of clothes (winter stuff) several boxes of books, patio furniture, home theater system, and some knick knacks. I sent him an email on 8/22 asking him his intention regarding his remaining things. He has not responded. Question for you guys: do you know what my legal responsibility is for his things? (I live in GA, and haven't been able to find specific info on line) What are your thoughts on my moral/ethical responsibility? And for those of you who have moved out, would you have left stuff with no plans to return? I still feel like I'm being controlled. I've boxed and bagged up what I can, and stuck it in the storage closet. The patio furniture is still out on the deck, and his bed is still downstairs. It's bugging me to see it, and I just feel like he's going to pop up some time...it's unnerving, making it difficult for me to "close that door." Thanks so much for advice and support. I understand the hurt and confusion everyone is dealing with...on both sides. I'm the one who ended it, but I'm hurting too. Life stinks right now.
Nohbody Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 Possession is 9/10ths of the law. If a reasonable amount of time has passed and he hasn't collected his things I don't think you need to worry about giving his stuff to goodwill or even leaving it in a dumpster. He's a grown man, and if he can't come collect his belongings... to hell with him. Just my opinion.
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