Author Zaphod B Posted August 31, 2011 Author Posted August 31, 2011 Goodonpaper: Yeah, I kind of agree that saying my standards may be too high is kind of depressing. I felt my standards were too low before and now I feel that I am being more positive and confident and that I can do better than what I have in the past. Should I now lower my standards back down? Hell no! AHardDaysNight: what you say about the supermodel not falling for an average looking guy is so not true. It’s that sort of thinking I have had all my life. But average men do get the hot chicks and you see it all the time if you look. It’s all about their attitude. The reason why you usually see the hot woman with good looking guys is because those are the guys who have the confidence and the attitude. They are the ones who’ll chase after these chicks, while the average guy sits back with attitudes like yours and think “whoa, she’s way out of my league”. That’s the sort of thinking I am trying to knock out of my system here and it is bearing fruit for me. Stillafool: I don’t really want to be a bad boy. I just want to adopt some of the approaches that they use so that I can get hotter women. I am sick of being seen as the nice guy who is not for me. Betterdeal: Agree with you. Someone does become more beautiful as a bond develops. And beauty is in the eye of the beholder. But if it comes down to what in my eyes is an average woman and a beautiful woman it makes sense to me to approach the beautiful one first. KathyM: Yeah, I think I’d like to lean more towards that than a bad boy, although I don’t have any real exciting job or hobby. Did do sky diving for a bit many years ago but it was too expensive to keep going with. Taramere: I normally wouldn’t have a problem with one date getting cancelled if the reason is legitimate. However, a woman I dated over a month ago, seemed really keen, but then cancelled with some stupid excuse. I suggested another date which she seemed really keen on too, then she cancels that too. Then I text her and I get no further responses from her. That pissed me off and so when this new woman I’m dating cancelled our date two nights ago, it made me think… oh no not again. I'm getting a sense of deja-vu here. What am I doing wrong? Perhaps I am just too nice? I know there could be many reasons why a woman decides to cancel a date, but I’m gonna do whatever I can to make myself seem more desirable so she won’t. I want to learn and I want to improve my techniques as I have been doing over the last two years.
carhill Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 Notwithstanding other aspects, I'd opine 'keeper' is a bit premature at this very early, 'getting to know' point. Further, entertaining such thoughts and feeling such emotions runs counter to your stated purpose here, that of becoming more of a 'bad boy'. She's one potential with as of yet unknown value. One step at a time
Author Zaphod B Posted August 31, 2011 Author Posted August 31, 2011 Ok, perhaps I should use the term "Potential keeper". Just easier to say keeper.
Taramere Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 Taramere: I normally wouldn’t have a problem with one date getting cancelled if the reason is legitimate. However, a woman I dated over a month ago, seemed really keen, but then cancelled with some stupid excuse. I suggested another date which she seemed really keen on too, then she cancels that too. I think if somebody has cancelled a date with you and doesn't suggest another time, you just leave it. I'm fairly laid back in real life, and I don't get that fussed if people cancel on me...but I'll always leave it to them to take the initiative in rescheduling. Mainly because for all I know, they aren't cancelling for any reason other than that they just don't want to meet up with me. I wouldn't ever want to be pestering somebody who didn't want to socialise with me. I think whether it's a friend or somebody you're seeing in a dating capacity, that stands. Then I text her and I get no further responses from her. That pissed me off and so when this new woman I’m dating cancelled our date two nights ago, it made me think… oh no not again. I'm getting a sense of deja-vu here. What am I doing wrong? Perhaps I am just too nice? I know there could be many reasons why a woman decides to cancel a date, but I’m gonna do whatever I can to make myself seem more desirable so she won’t. I want to learn and I want to improve my techniques as I have been doing over the last two years. I think you're making the mistake of internalising their behaviour. Even if they cancelled because they're not that into you, that can often just stem from a person's circumstances. I've noticed lately just speaking to people -friends in the phone, people I get into conversations with walking the dog - a lot of people out there are a bit flat right now. The recession is biting all over the place..and even if people aren't directly affected by it, maybe others they're close to are. So those women cancelling...maybe anxieties about their work situation? Or credit card bills? Could be all kinds of things that have absolutely nothing to do with whether or not you're a great guy...and have more to do with them just not feeling in the frame of mind where they can date anybody. I say this purely because of the sheer number of people I've encountered lately who seem to be flatter and moodier than they usually are...and when you investigate a bit, it always comes down to that same thing. Anxiety about the way things are right now.. However, I do hear you re this happening twice in quick succession. That can knock anybody's confidence. I would be inclined to advise switching the focus away from women for a bit, and on to things you get happiness and confidence from as a way of quickly moving on from these rejections. I think the ability to shrug off other people's rejection (whether real or just perceived by you) fairly quickly is a crucial factor in having a healthy and happy life.
betterdeal Posted September 1, 2011 Posted September 1, 2011 Betterdeal: Agree with you. Someone does become more beautiful as a bond develops. And beauty is in the eye of the beholder. But if it comes down to what in my eyes is an average woman and a beautiful woman it makes sense to me to approach the beautiful one first You think about it too much! There's no way you're going to get your numbers up if you keep on thinking so much. Just talk to women. Everywhere. Include old grannies, fat lasses, bookworms, emos, tomboys, you name it. Get to enjoy and get used to their company. They can smell fear, and getting used to showing them fearless attention will make you more attractive. What also makes you attractive is being attracted to them. Everyone loves being attractive to someone, be they Heidi Klum or Jo Brand, Brad Pitt or Danny Davito. You talk about animals and evolution, so you know the bestial side of things. When a woman is horny she is receptive to a man taking her. And what does she want gene-wise? A bag of nerves muscle Mary who pumps himself at the gym all day, or a fearless gobsh*te who fights his corner against all-comers (within reason) but who is also respectful and confident to those who deserve it at the same time? It's not survival of the strongest - it's survival of the fittest, and the ones fittest to survive are those that are fitted well to adapt to the environment we live in. Go and do stuff that makes you bellow, sweat, grunt, laugh, smile, feel alive, whatever it is that makes you tick. Some flaked on you? That happens. They weren't ready for a bit of Zaphod B action. They're just women and they are just human like you and me. They natter a lot and they seem to know the conclusion of most conversations before we even mutter a word and we just have to sort of guess what answer they're looking for half the time, but it works, this man-woman relationship thing, so long as you bear in mind just how awesome you are and how awesome she is, and that it's the imperfections that make it perfect.
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