smudge21 Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 Following a break up, especially when you're the dumpee, seems to make us loose all mental reasoning and do things that our totally out of character and often completely crazy. I can look back at some of the things I've done to try and win back an ex or even just stay a part of their lives. I guess the good to come out of it is that I can remember doing those things and know they never worked, only made me look like a fool and end up prolonging the heart ache. Trouble is, it can be so tempting to do them all again when a new break up occurs, like right now. But I know that nothing good will come from them. I read on here so many people tempted to do the same things, so I just thought it would be interesting to list all the crazy things we've done so maybe those thinking of trying any of them can have second thoughts. I'll kick start things with the fact that I constantly used to send my first love flowers or romantic cards... long after things had ended. I just had this idea that if I kept doing it, eventually she would see me as I saw her. I can look back on that now and see how crazy that all was. The girl had moved on, no two ways about it, but that was before LS came along and no one was around to tell me about "no contact"... Another time (and another girl), I didn't do the whole chasing thing, but definitely did the stalking routine. Would wander around near her house at night, just hoping to see her. God only knows what reason there was for that - I mean, was I expecting to see her crying over a picture of me? Seriously, what on earth was I doing. I can recall actually thinking that if I saw her with someone else, it would give me closure... but I never did. That's so embarrassing to think I acted like that over someone who clearly didn't love me anymore. Finally (for now) an ex from a few years back and the joys off the internet and work email. Those things are so easy to hack in to but the things I read totally destroyed me. Plus, we were still on talking terms at the time yet I knew everything she said was a lie - I'd read her emails... I knew what was really going on. I think it's back then I learned that ignorance is indeed bliss, although I still do occasionally slip up in that respect. The internet, social networking and email has made spying on a loved one is so easy... but it's better not to know sometimes. Anyone else want to confess some crazy things love for someone has made you do? You may just stop someone making the same mistakes.
WhoMI Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 Well this weekend I'll be flying out to meet my ex and that will most likely be the craziest thing I'll do for this relationship which he ended a month ago. But hey love is a crazy thing.
Buttercup84 Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 I went into my ex's email after we broke up ( just once ) , since he opened my mail while we lived together - didn't seem so bad. I found out that he had a dating profile ( which I also went into ) before we broke up. I cried like a crazy woman in front of him , sent him a big present after our break up and got food delierverd to his - or our former - place . I look back and looked like a desperate loon. I wish I handled this with more class. But I guess that is the way I was feeling at the time. I stil have the urge to go to his place and cry and beg but I know I will just be much worse later. **** them !
radiodarcy Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 i can honestly say post-being dumped i didn't do much of anything in the way of crazy behavior. i certainly contemplated doing some thing though: i thought about driving to his home and begging him to talk to me; i even thought about stalking him outside the club he hangs out (which is right across the street from me) and staging a confrontation. but i didn't. because as you stated, i knew it would only make me feel worse. usually when the urge to do something strikes me i force myself to visualize the consequences. i have a vivid imagination so it's been a pretty effective deterrent. not to mention the biggest mistake i made was continuing the friends with benefits situation long past its expiration date (2.5 years to be exact). you are absolutely right though, it's taken me years to learn the lesson but ignorance really is bliss at this point. i can look at his fb; his online dating accts, find out all the gory details about his life but - - it's not going to change anything. it's not penance. i dont win a prize for beating myself over the head with this information again and again. i know songs and song lyrics can seem trite but anytime i feel an urge to contact i listen to this and the first set of lyrics is enough to convince me to stay away: I guess the good to come out of it is that I can remember doing those things and know they never worked, only made me look like a fool and end up prolonging the heart ache. Trouble is, it can be so tempting to do them all again when a new break up occurs, like right now. But I know that nothing good will come from them.
arbrne_vet Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 i probably win this award. she dumped me a year ago, and in desperation, i bought a diamond and proposed to her. i then paid to have new tires put on her SUV, and a few months later, paid to have her furnace fixed. don't know how many times i took her and her kids out to eat. i think we all do things we wish we could take back. she decided to take the ring off i gave her back in April. Been playing this stupid game too long. bad thing is, she won't give me the ring back.
just_scott Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 a break-up will only make you do those crazy things as long as YOU let it . I was a dumpee from a 6 yr realtionship ,i felt like garbage after being dumpped.BUT i just said enough is enough .WHY bother feeling that way over someone who doesn't want to be with you HEARTS, and feelings are involved and you miss the closeness with someone i guess that's why you go on fun roller coaster ride of emotions ,BUT don't stay on the ride too long it drives some people mad . YOU have all the tools at your disposal to evolve and move on
LelouchIsZero Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 As I was left without any reason, I managed to get hold of my ex's fb, which I then seen her talking to one of her friends about this new guy. I was extremely angry & I tried talking to her family about it, though it all kind of got thrown back in my face, which in a way is fair enough, I suppose.
shayla Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 I was so angry over being lied to for 3 years and the lies continued to other people. So I confronted the other woman and told her the truth. After she confronted him, he sent me a kiss off email which was full of lies, for her benefit I'm sure because she read it. I started sending him texts at random times of the day and night saying "Your lies, your selfishness, your heartless behavior will come back to you one day." after he changed his number, I posted on my facebook page about the entire mess. How he had told me supposedly joking about how he was going to marry a widow so he would not have to buy a house or worry about retirement, and how he'd been with several in the past (yeah right) . I posted how she was the first of many that went for it less than 2 months after her husband died, and how he was able to move his stuff into his house before he body even got cold. I ended it saying, congratulations on securing your retirement plan, I bet you won't divorce this wife, the only one of the 4 wives you've had who supports you. You both are low and deserve each other. Well, I figured if they didn't read my page, they would not know. Hmmm, she read my page and went on the absolute rampage. And I still think that was hilarious. Welp, that was my dose of crazy.
JB93 Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 i looked through her texts 2 nights ago the guy she said she is sorta seeing said "i misses you." It hurts too much to read stuff like that. all the things she used to say to me, how everything was indeed perfect. how our relationship was unique. Just goes to prove, all relationships are the same bull****!
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