I have friends who think their problems are worse than mine. How can I get them to st

[RikRak]

I have a couple friends who think they have the worst problems in the world. They complain about every little thing, but never seem to do anything to help themselves. Everyone needs to vent once in a while, but I'm losing sympathy because my friends complain all the time. And sometimes they complain about stuff that's not half as bad as what I'm going through. Maybe they're trying to compete over who has the worst life, or maybe they just don't care about anyone's problems but their own. How can I get them to stop (or at least not let them bother me as much)?

 

Some things they complain about:

1) being too busy, even though they're only taking one college class and have no job

2) having no money, even though they shop and eat out a lot

3) their relationships, even though they stay with boyfriends who lie and cheat on them

4) being bored, even though they have expensive gadgets and cars to take them places

5) being fat, even though they're naturally skinny, eat a lot, and never exercise

6) being tired, even though they don't clean their house or have children to care for

[betterdeal]

Just say "never mind" or "I'm sure you'll find a way", forget about whatever it is they're moaning about and talk about something more interesting instead.

[Dalicias]

Sounds a lot like you think your problems are worse than your friends problems. Who knows what people go through these days, and a lot of it is social conditioning to complain about these things...if you don't like your friends, get new ones.

[serial muse]

I guess one thing you could do is sort of hold a mirror up, so that these people realize how often they are complaining.

 

You do that by listening to complaints sympathetically, and then just say, "You sound really, really unhappy a lot. Have you considered seeing a professional/therapist?"

 

A bit passive-aggressive, but it might do the trick.

[netahvfgzvxf]

it is voice right i assume it can be unchanging healthier if someone purposefulness make changes.

 

those are vast games i without exception act to save with tongue in cheek you can into this also

 

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[Smooth Criminal]

I recognize this feeling. Some people just don't have a clue how much they complain and why they should be carefull to whom they complain about things.

 

A friend of mine was still in college, without a job. He kept complaining about how busy he was with his study. Listening to someone whine about this is annoying, especially when me and another friend rushed home after working ten hours just to meet up with the crew.

 

As soon as people start complaining about being busy I get really annoyed. it's like they want to tell you how valuable their time is. As far as I know, people that are actually really busy don't complain about it. If your spare time is actually valuable and you are happy to spend some time with friends you would't risk ruining it by moaning about nothing.

[Peace&Love]

It's sad how some people don't know how to count their blessings and are so self-absorbed. There is no nice way to tell them there are bigger problems in the world and a lot of people go through real hardships, like terminal illness and war. My suggestion is to try and spend less time with these friends. Unfortunately, there are some friends you can only take very small doses of. If your priorities are different from theirs, you'll slowly grow apart from them anyway, because friendships like that require a lot of work and effort.